Two Month Anniversary

 Thanks to all my patreon backers for your continued support. Without you...I mean...I've said it so many times before...”Your support means more to me than you'll ever know. And that's even more true during the current crisis than it's ever been.

PARISHONER

Warwolf416

Randomgamer24

Hyenatig

Matt

O.C.R.

Reddawn7744

Luposong

Unformed

HyenaFur

KarakuriCentral

BovineMage

Bjerken Badger

Kei Fox

Sypher597

BatDuskyLycanroc3blr

Toonophile

AmanCalledDominik

FluffWolf117

FOLLOWER

Martin Nilsson

Alexander Eckhart

So... it's the two-month' anniversary of the fire. Would you call it an anniversary? The term sounds too...positive...like it's worth commemoration, celebration. Of course it's not. It's hard to believe it's been two months. It feels like yesterday. I can still remember that night so vividly...when I close my eyes I can see that hallway, the smoke...everything.

I'm supposed to start speaking with a therapist soon, so hopefully that will help...mitigate some of these...feelings and visions. Not...exactly excited about opening up to a stranger via 'telecom', as phone stuff gets my anxiety up, but I've gotta do it.

In case you are wondering why I'm not in Colorado yet, my brother won't be in his new house until April 30th, instead of March 30th. That gives us a little more time to get our stuff together in terms of important paperwork replacement and preparation for the 2000 mile trip. Thankfully, while the town stopped covering for the Hotel as of today, my renter's insurance is picking up the tab from there, and it will see us through until we can head west. Thankfully the hotel pay will not detract from my renter's payout which...for the moment seems on track to come through.

In the meantime, I've been using some of my remaining time to try and do all I can to find a place that isn't a complete slum that will take my mother and I in state. Basically a last-ditch effort to stay in New Hampshire in order to not have to put my brother out and...really because I liked living here. But it seems the entire North East is under a sort of 'Rental Run'. Apartments and housing opportunities are currently few and far between, and places get snapped up at light speed as soon as they show up on the market. And that's not counting the fact that I and my mother have some necessary needs that further complicate what we can get. (2 Bedrooms, Ground Floor, Low Income). I get the distinct impression that New York is having a similar exodus to that of California, and so the North East is filling up with NYC refugees...well that on top of it being a bad season to move. The Apartment complexes we've touched base with have waiting lists thirty people deep or more, and so considering the dwindling time factor, submitting applications and paying fees for said applications seems like...ironically a waste of time. Needless to say, it looks like Colorado is unavoidable at this point.

At least my mother and I are vaccinated now and will be...as resistant to covid as we can be during the drive. The only thing I'm debating now is whether to try and make the trip in the Bellwagon (My Smart Car), or sell it off and get a Jeep Grand Cherokee or something. I've had my smart for two years, and it's been very reliable and good on gas. But storage space is limited, and the week-long drive might be more uncomfortable in a smart car than something bigger with storage space. (Not that we have all that much to travel with). But a new vehicle...I mean, I don't know if it'll turn out to be as reliable, or be able to handle the trip...I'd have to trust the dealer, which is always a risk...and with everything else going on right now being uncertain about the car I'm driving across the country in is...I mean it's another level of stress I don't need.

Art-wise we're still looking at sketchbook photos for at least another month or more...

-_-... I'm not even super confident about writing on this thing thanks to how slow and miserable it is to use this laptop. Running a browser and Discord at the same time is too taxing for this thing... I know that's a first-world problem, but I'd like to be able to share cleaner, clearer art with everyone. At this point, it's the bare minimum I can do.

So that's the long and short of it at the moment...It would be redundant at this point to say I'm tired. That I want this to all be over, and for life to return to...something resembling how it formerly is. I'm emotionally tired, and my and my mom's health is being pushed to the brink. I'll just be...relieved when this is something I can just...look back at this as nothing more than a dark, painful memory. Distant in the reflection of a more positive future.

Thanks to everyone for their continued support, both Patreons and fans who supported the GoFundMe. I'd also like to thank everyone who just...reached out with kind words and emotional support. I know I keep saying it, but it truly means and means the world.

-Wasty

Gil's Band Continued; "Mad" Max, on rhythm guitar.

 

Last we have Maxwell Gulstafsson, a.k.a "Mad Max"; The group's rhythm guitarist. Max is a wolverine, and ostensibly the 'wild' member of the group. However, his 'wild' nature is solely limited to his actions, as Max was born totally mute. Without the use of his voice, the mammal is forced to communicate in sign language, which always requires Henri to interpret him for Gilbert. However, lacking the trademark 'wolverine scream' most mammals expect of his species hasn't slowed Max down in the slightest. In fact, to date the wolverine has gotten into at least two out and out brawls with audience members over seemingly nothing, stopping the performance in its tracks each time. He's also the groups 'lady's mam'", as being the only 'technically' single member of the band has him dealing with the overflow of fangirls. Not that he minds of course. 

So yeah, that's Gil and his band of misfits. I hope you guys like 'em.

-Wasty

Gil's Band Continued: Caroline the Basist

 

Caroline Ghàidhealach; Caroline is the band's basist. Caroline is a Scotrammish Highland Cow, and as the name suggests she was born in Scottram. Her family was another touched by Norwulffish culture,  as her earlier ancestors left with the Norwolves after one of their occupations of Scottram, only returning after the peace agreement. Caroline is missing her right leg below the knee, the result of a calfhood accident. Off stage she uses a general prosthetic which actually resembles a cow leg, however on stage she uses her grandfather's left horn as a stand in. Said horn was left to her by her grandfather in order to 'protect' her, and the Norwulffish depiction of the 'world-eater' was something he had etched into his horns while alive. Caroline feels using it on-stage is both a way to honor his memory, and allow him to 'protect' her as he wished. Caroline speaks fluent 'Chaoraic' (Zootopia's Gaelic Equivalent), but even when she's speaking Animanglish her accent is so thick she's very hard to understand, once again forcing Henri to act as an interpreter sometimes. Caroline is Gilbert's mate, and they've been together since shortly after the band got started in earnest. 

At this point you may be starting to notice two patterns. One, each remember of Gil's band seems to be disabled in some way. Gil's blindness, Henri's stubbed tail, Caroline's missing leg, each on has suffered some sort of handicap. The second thing, is that when on stage, they all have their hair over their eyes. Thar second bit is both acting in solidarity with Gil, and theming with the bands name. That said, our pattern remains unbroken with our last bandmate.

Gilbert's Band Continued: Henri the Drummer.

 

So let's talk about Gil's bandmates, starting with Henri. 

Henri Järvullen; Henri is Gil's masterful drummer.  Throughout history, foxes have been known to sort of latch on to other cultures, taking bits and pieces of it and giving it a foxish flare, or outright accepting it in full to become part of a community. This was the case with Henri's Yipsi ancestors who would eventually settle in Norwulff, and find themselves eventually absorbed into one of the more prominent packs in the nation. That said, Henri is fairly in touch with his 'Norwulffish' roots, even going so far as to regularly wear runes in his hair both on and off stage. Henri was born with a malformed, stunted tail, and to compensate the tod grew his hair out long enough to feign the appearance of one. It is the only real part of his look that transfers between his off and onstage persona, which is so drastic to most mammals that he largely goes unrecognized in public, which is not something he minds in the slightest. Henri speaks Norwulffish, and slightly broken Anamanglish, with often sees him working as the interpreter for the group. He is also never seen dating, foxes or non-foxes, male or female, leading most fans to speculate he's asexual. However, he is merely very particular about who he opens up to in that way and feels that fan adoration would get in the way of an organic relationship, thus eliminating most of the females who throw themselves at the band.

A Different Kind of Update: Gus' brother and his band.

 

    So, I've been reluctant to share any 'art' that I've made since the fire, mostly since it's all snapshots of sketchbook drawings. So not only am I not happy with the way I have to get them into the computer...but unless someone specifically asks for sketches...I always feel...kind of weird sharing them. It just feels unfinished, like sharing scaffolding. It's makes me feel like I'm naked in public. But I've still got another month or so before I'll have a tablet again, which is a conservative estimate. So I have to break away from my comfort zone.

    Anywho, some of you may remember in LAW I mentioned Gus had a brother, but I never went into detail about him. So I spent some time working on him, and those associated with him's design and lore. First off, Gus' brother is named Gilbert (Which was actually a name given to him by backer BatDuskyLycanroc, and I liked it and went with it, thanks Dusky. He's also the front mammal for his band, "The Order of the Bleating Eye", a popular death metal band in Roarope.

    Gilbert is Gus' older brother by about five years. He's considerably healthier than Gus overall, sporting healthier and more robust horns like their father Aslan, a slimmer physique, and without the whole 'fainting disorder' that Gus picked up from his mother Vitoria's side of the family. However, Gilbert was born totally blind. When not performing, the goat walks around with a particularly stylish walking cane that doubles as his guide cane. On stage, Gil has a series of grooves and pegs covering the floor of his performance space so that he can 'feel' his marks. Gil always had a passion for imaginative creative things and was actually responsible for getting Gus into BnB while they were growing up. However, Gil's biggest passion was music, and his dream was one day making it with a band despite his condition. At the end of his high school stint, and with the rather reluctant permission of his parents, Gil went backpacking across Roarope to 'assemble' his band out of the 'very cradle' of death metal, his words. Gil is the lead singer and guitarist of his band.

I'll continue the roster with the next few posts as the files are large and this Laptop is miserably slow. So yeah, look out for the rest.

Saying Goodbye to New Hampshire

It's been a little while since my last update, mostly cause I've been busy running around and (at first) trying to work out things with places around here, and now focusing on the transit situation, but I don't want to get ahead of myself, so let's start at the beginning.

First off, my hand scar I picked up from the fire was (and possibly still is) infected. It's still quite sore to the touch, and I just had x-rays done to see if there was anything foreign that they missed caught inside my hand. I won't know till tomorrow what's the verdict on that, but I have just finished a regiment of antibiotics which only sort of helped reduce the swelling and sensitivity. I am optimistic that the medicine helped, and I'm pretty sure there's nothing stuck in there, but I appreciate my doctor being thoroughness.

Apartment hunting has been, well...it's been a total bust. Either the waiting lists are forty families deep, or someone just nabbed the place before we did, or it's a second or third floor apartment, and so on. I do feel a sense of solidarity in knowing many of our fellow neighbors are just as much out in the lurch as we are, as they are also struggling to find a place with significantly less 'needed specifications'. But that said, if they are having as much trouble with that much less holding them back, what does that mean for us?

So, due to that reason, as well as the mounting 'rapidly dwindling' time limit in terms of how long the town is willing to put up those of us dislocated at the hotel at their expense, my mother and I have made the difficult decision to stay with family in Colorado until we find a place out there.

It's not that I dislike Colorado, or my brother for that matter, but I had really wanted to try my best to stay in New Hampshire as I was pretty happy here. But nothing is giving, and everything seems to just be pointing us more and more in the direction of relocating as the only answer, and eventually we had to make a call so we could start the necessary preparations to actually get out there.

The focus now has been planning a route that is both the least expensive and also the least uncomfortable for my mom, as trying to drive from New Hampshire to Colorado is probably not the best idea for either one of us, but especially her. And on that note, my mom's health seems to be declining that much further.

While waiting for her second covid shot, which I know will more than likely make her sick for a few days, she also developed a UTI (Urinary tract infection).There was apparently some blood and bacteria in her urine, and so she's been on heavy meds for it. I am starting to worry that getting stepped on and trampled in the fire may have done more damage internally than we initially thought. Naturally I'll be keeping a close eye on her, and for the time being we are right next to the hospital so should anything worsen, I can get her there right away. Still, at anytime my mom's health could throw yet another spanner in the works of the already difficult situation.

Honestly, I'm really tired. Like spiritually as well as physically if that makes sense? I just want to go home more and more...but there is no home. This hotel room is starting to drive me crazy with the noise and lack of privacy and discomfort, and I know I'm whining and it's first world problems. I am grateful we've been allowed to stay for as long as we have thanks to the towns efforts, but a hotel is not a home, and I honestly wish they could have helped more in that regard. At least now, as uncomfortable as I am, I know soon enough we'll be out of here for better or worse, and with less of a tight time limit to worry about hanging over our heads...Although depending on how we need to travel, we may have to stay at a few more hotels on the trip to Colorado, which in itself is it's own issue.

I'd like to thank all of you who have contacted me, sharing love and emotional support. I also want to thank all of you who donated to the gofundme, as well as spread it around. Regardless of the size of the donations, it...it is a big help, believe me. I'd also like to of course thank my wonderful patreons, both long time patreons and new arrivals. I'm sorry I don't have as much work and content to provide as I usually do, but hopefully soon we'll be getting back to...well semi-normal.

I don't think things can ever...truly be normal again, so it's more of a new normal. It feels weird to mourn...stuff still. Objects, furniture, scraps, whatever...and there will more than likely always be part of me that remains affected by the experience, therapy or not...but they say time heals all wounds, and it does...in some ways get a little easier each day.

Thanks again guys, I love you all

-Wasty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPkizW2SFSY

One Month Out; Staring into the Unknown.

 There's a lot of folks I have to thank going forward. Once again both my mom and I are eternally grateful for all the donations on the Gofundme, as well as the much needed emotional outreach and support by the art and fan community. It's truly been a godsend after this horrible tragedy, and it's been a big help in keeping me from completely and totally falling apart while trying to get our lives back together.

That said, I also owe my Patreon folks a big thank you for their continued support through this trying time. I didn't get a chance to do this last month because of...the mess, so here is the 'shout-out' to my backers.

PARISHONER

Hyenatig

Matt

Randomgamer24

Milkerfur

Unformed

O.C.R.

BovineMage

BatDuskyLycanroc3blr

Reddawn7744

Toonophile

Kei Fox

KarakuriCentral

Bjerken Badger

HyenaFur

Sypher597

Luposong

AmanCalledDominik

FluffWolf117

Warwolf416

FOLLOWER

Martin Nilsson

Alexander Eckhart

Seriously guys, thank you for sticking with me, even during all this.

So that said, the 8th was the one month anniversary of the fire. It's hard to believe it's been...over a month since it all happened. I can still...see everything. The sights and sounds of that night are still etched in my mind, but I mean, that makes sense all things considered.

It's been a long time since I've had stitches, so I'm not sure exactly how much my gash should still be bothering me in terms of being red and sore. Right now it's still at a point where you can't really touch the surface of it without it hurting. Same goes for the leg wound, the nerve endings are still crazy sensitive and the muscle is still hard and lumpy.

Since I last checked in with you guys, my mother and I both got covid shots. I got the single-dose Janssen shot, and she had the first of her Pfizer shots. I had a pretty nasty reaction the first night, I think I underestimated what classifies as an Auto-immune disorder, so my joint inflammation issues were kind of amplified by the dose. Mom's reaction was minimal though, which was a relief.

Housing-wise, we've got nothing. Everything so far has been out of the price range or lacking the necessary amenities, and so we remain at square one in terms of finding a new home. The town has agreed to cover our stay at the hotel until the first week of April, but if we can't find a place before then, we'll more than likely have to stay at my brother's place in Colorado for a while. At the very least I'm glad we have that so we don't end up kicked to the curb in April, but I did want to try and stay in New Hampshire. I really like a lot of things about living here, and while I'd ideally like to live further up the state someday, I mean...if we can't find a place here, we can't find a place, and we'll have to go where we can.

On Friday I drove back to our old home, to see it with my own eyes now that I had proper glasses again. I don't really know why, I just...I felt compelled to see it I guess. Maybe to make sure nothing was salvageable? Or to make it stick in my brain that there was simply no going home, that it was well and truly gone? Regardless, I was there for a while. Walking around, taking photos, and simply staring into the husk of a remaining structure. With my glasses on, I can tell there's really nothing left up there. Even the closet I thought might have been untouched was charred and empty. The roof came down on most of the apartment, and our apartment partially collapsed onto the floor below. To me, that says nothing escaped. Perhaps it's better this way. There's nothing recognizable, nothing visible and half charred from my bedroom that would cripple my heart. Although I did spot my microwave and food processor smashed on the ground below where part of our kitchen collapsed out to the ground level. Admittedly it hurt, but not as much as it would have to see my even more personal effects.

I have caught up posting everything I had ready to go before the fire. The Cherub art is live on all platforms, and if you go to Sofurry and Furaffinity, I actually posted both sets across the two sites. So it's a little scavenger hunt. The other remaining scraps, including something sketched recently, are on patreon. I'll probably share them on twitter during the week until I can actually do more with them when I'm settled again.

So yeah...I guess that's all for now. I've already said I think I'm about done posting the Gofundme link with these, as I already feel guilty about having it despite the circumstance. But you can check my former posts if you'd still like to donate I suppose. Thanks for everything guys...I'll try to keep you posted as things go on.

-Wasty

Week 3.5 Still Here

 So positives, I have new glasses, and I have my car back. So there's two massive steps in the right direction. Thankfully a lot of things managed to align at once one Wednesday allowing me to get my new glasses and car on the same day, negating the risk having to drive my car back from Boston without my frames. I've also managed to get back some of my and my mother important identifying information, and crucial cards that will allow us to get by.

That said, after all is said and done, we're still at the hotel. Our apartment search has been largely fruitless. On the one hand, we can take some solace in the fact that many of the tenants are still in the same boat as we are, as the market has been difficult for a while. However, the mounting pressure to find a place before the town stops covering hotel expenses is starting to obscure that.

Interest in helping out from the town has continued to taper off rapidly, with the resource folks down to next to 'zero contact' in days, and with no substantial help in finding us apartments despite the big show three weeks back promising to help all of us ex-tenants over the weeks and months we may need to relocate. They told us they were outlining plans that would see us all from the hotel to our new front doors, promised us. But now that public attention is fading they seem to be increasingly ignoring the lot of us.

I've also been diligently taking itemization for insurance purposes which...has been an emotional roller-coaster. Especially now that I've arrived at itemizing the losses for my bedroom/office. I also intend to touch base with a lawyer tomorrow in order to pursue a legal case against the management of our previous home. And as you can imagine, I probably shouldn't go into any further detail on that for the time being.

If worst comes to worse, we will have to relocated to Montana and live with my brother for a while. It's sort of the emergency last resort, should we be completely unable to find a place at all. But I'm going to try as best I can to keep us here in New Hampshire until we are absolutely out of options.

So yeah...still at the hotel, still looking to leave. I....miss my home. We both do...The apartment may not have been a stellar one, but my Mom and I made the place a respectable home. I feel petty complaining about the hotel. It's not bad. It's really decent. But it's just...it's uncomfortable. Alien. And while I generally had trouble sleeping already, it's even harder to do in this transitory space, with the uncertainty looming over our heads.

This will probably be the last time I link the Gofundme. I already feel bad enough as it is having had it up in the first place, even if it was my brother that started it on our behalf. That said, again I want to thank everyone, every artist, every friend, every fan, every patreon, every single one of you, from the bottom of my heart for spreading the word and helping in any way you could. Whether it was emotional support, solidarity, financial assistance, gifts, or all of those things combined it's really helped keep me from completely losing it in this....really difficult time. I love you all, my gratitude is eternal.

Love,

WastedTime

Gofundme Link

https://gofund.me/92364f20

Promoting "Found" by Elite Shade

 Hey everybody, with my whole...extended hiatus, I haven't had much to offer in the way of content for the blog. Now seems like as good a time as any to once again promote "Found" by Elite Shade. For those out of the loop, it's an AU of my own works where Dawn and Vern adopt a human pup. Of course, just saying that is a bit reductive. It's got a lot of things going on in it, some intrigue, some world building, and lots and lots of adorable fluff. Please check it out if you are hungry for some Dawn and Vern content, or just hungry for some adorable reading material.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13128859/23/Found

I'll have an update tomorrow about my ongoing issues with the house fire, and how recovery is going. Thanks,

-WT

Update: Two Weeks Out

 Jesus...I can't believe it's been two weeks already. It's still having trouble...really sinking in even now. Every morning I wake up kind of expecting to be in my bedroom, in my apartment, surrounded with the familiar smells and comforts of my old home. I guess, more like trying to will it to be so, like if I wish hard enough maybe it'll make it real somehow. But I always open my eyes to find I'm still in this strange hotel, safe, but feeling uneasy. Uneasy because it's unfamiliar, alien, with none of the comforts that really make the space feel like anything something than transitory for better or worse

Anyway, I really have to hammer home how grateful I am to all of you who have reached out with emotional support, as well as those who went as far as to donate to the gofundme to further help me and my elderly mother start to rebuild. Seriously, your kindness just blew me away, and I can't...like it's all so much. And I don't want to undersell the financial support because it is necessary, but...especially the emotional support has really...like...it's been a massive help in terms of keeping me together mentally. Knowing people care, and want to help, it makes an insanely stressful and horrific situation a little easier to bear.

In terms of getting back on the road....this week has been a mess. As you are probably aware, my smart car keys were in the fire. And those keys can only be remade at a smart dealership. Last week I had issues just getting them to agree to start making the key without having to get a lift an hour out to the dealership just to prove I am who I say I am. On Tuesday, I was told my key was being made in Texas, and they believe it was lost in the ice storm, as it was possible the Fed-ex Trailer carrying it crashed. That made the rest of the day hard to get through, as it was once again uncertain how I would get around. The town resources, which had previously pledged above and beyond support to those of us affected by the fire, basically about-faced and gave extremely minimal help, all while acting extremely bothered by it.

Come Wednesday, after twisting their arm, the acquisitioned a taxi for me to get to my bank and Walmart for a bit of emergency shopping. However they neglected to tell me they had only covered the ride for 80 dollars, and that he was going to wait and leave the meter running while I was in walmart. Thankfully I had a list, but I would have liked to have had time to amble a bit in order to think of more things myself or my mom might have needed. In the end , I ended up having to pay an extra 20 bucks for the ride and was furious with town resources. It wasn't about the money, I just would have liked to know ahead of time.

Thursday the dealership told me my key arrived, which had me scrambling to find a ride to get the keys, and finally my car. Town Hall contacted the towing company that towed my care for free to the dealership to give me a lift, and supposedly explained the situation. An hour later the towing company called asking if I wanted them to just pick up my car and bring it to the hotel. I then had to explain to them that the dealership wouldn't give them the keys. Not only had they not been paid for, but they won't release the car to anyone but me. The towing company said they'd call back, and we'd get it handled. Neither them, nor the town resources manager got back to me since.

Of course, this was actually a good thing, as on Friday I had locked up a ride with one of my displaced neighbors, but after what happened with the taxi, I was compelled to call the dealership to make absolutely sure they had my keys. Of course, now they tell me they don't. They apparently only had the remote part of my key, and that the bolt, (the metal part) was coming from Germany. Because of that, and due to covid issues in Europe, they had no idea how soon the bolt would arrive. At this point...the day felt shot. I was ready to give up, just curl into a ball and hide for a while. But since my brain refused to let me sleep, I thought of taking the neighbor up on their offered ride, instead going to the post office and bank.

At the post office I bought a PO box, and I was able to get my re-issued credit cards and the advance on my renters insurance. Which, oh I forgot, Right, I tried to buy a rental car. But they wouldn't take a bank card or cash, only credit. So thankfully, now that I have my credit card I will be able to get a rental car on Monday. We also contacted some apartment places, which hopefully we will hear something my substantial from by tomorrow.

My weekend has been largely spent starting the rather painful process of itemizing everything that went up in the fire, which is something I've been avoiding to some extent because...I mean, I'm afraid that doing it will kind of...force a break down. Sketching out portions of rooms that I remember, the furniture, the electronics, the personal effects. I can see them in my head, I can picture them burning. Melting and cracking and curling as the flames reduce them to nothing but ashes and warped metal...It's already been hard, and I started with the outer rooms in an effort to keep from losing what little composure I have too early. Had I started with my bedroom/office, I probably would have lost it by now, but we're building up to it, and it frightens me a bit.

Tomorrow, I have a bevy of phone calls to make. Following up with the dealership, town resources, rent a cars, apartments, the fire Marshall, and several other things that already have me anxious. I pray it'll all go smoothly, but past experiences tell me otherwise.

With all that said, I still have a kitchen to itemize and some papers to fill out before I try to go to sleep tonight. Once again, thank you all for your continued support. And I will link the gofundme below incase this is anyone's first time finding out about my situation.

https://gofund.me/92364f20

-Wasty