Ask the BellHunters

Hello, I'm Dawn Hunter-Bellwether...er, formerly Dawn Bellwether if you didn't recognize the added surname. And before you ask, yes 'that' Dawn Bellwether. Ex-Assistant Mayor, Ex-Mayor, Ex-Criminal Mastermind (Reformed thank you very much), City Savior, Controversial Author, and Predator/Prey relationship advocate. I'm also, as you probably guess by the hyphenated last name, married, and happily so to my mate Vernon Hunter, a gray wolf. I'm also a mother to three wonderful pups, something I never thought I'd ever have the chance to be! But, lamb sakes, I've gushed enough about myself here without explaining exactly what this blog is for. You see, after the release of my book “Predator Seeking Prey”, our little family started to get a lot of public attention again, and with it came a lot of question from curious mammals and other pred/prey couples from all over Animalia. My best friend and mate Vernon thought it would be a good idea to deal with these questions directly by opening a sort of blog/forum and taking those questions about our lives directly. Since then, I'd like to say our little blog has been quite successful, with even members of our family and friend circle pitching in and taking a few questions as well. So with all that said., please feel free to Ask Away!


Oh, and also, feel free to check our old location for previous asks until we can get a better archive system in place!


The original Ask Dawn And Vern Tumblr! This blog is a continuation/reboot of the "AskDawnAndVern" tumblr, as I am permanently locked out of the Tumblr at present.

https://askdawnandvern.tumblr.com/


(Blog Author Note: This blog is based on the fanfiction “The Rehabilitation of Dawn Bellwether” as well as it's pseudo-sequel “A Lamb Among Wolves”. If you haven't read them, it'll probably help you better understand what's going on here if you do. I'll link both stories below. Oh Also, I'm open to questions as well. Simply direct “Author” emails to “WastedTime” when composing them. And before I forget, I have a Patreon! Five dollars gets you access to in progress fics, Ask priority, and art previews of both SFW and NSFW art. Of course, even a dollar would help. Seriously, it's how I keep projects like this alive.


The Rehabilitation of Dawn Bellwether:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11999389/1/The-Rehabilitation-of-Dawn-Bellwether

A Lamb Among Wolves:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12364172/1/A-Lamb-Among-Wolves


Wasted Time's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/wastedtimeee


And Finally, Please Submit your asks to this email address!
Submit Asks Here!

If the link doesn't work for you, send those emails to "Wastedtimeee@Askthebellhunters.com"

Friday, December 30, 2022

Yule Ask; Omari and Elizabeth: 20 years later.

 


Omari: O-Oh, well I mean we usually get a few things for each other for Yule..but mostly the greatest Yule gift we can get each other is making sure our schedules line up so we actually can enjoy the holiday together.


Elizabeth: Yes, I...well Yule tends to be the season where the orchestra I'm a part of tends to be the busiest. Usually right up until the New Year. So I have to travel a lot with them from place to place...and Omari, well... he's usually running himself ragged at the Pediatric Hospital so it's...not exactly easy to pull himself away from that.


Omari: I guess I'm as bad as my Mom is...*shakes head* but...I can't...I can't just leave those pups at Yule...I know there are other oncologists in my wing but...you...you get close to the pups in your care. They come to see you like an extra parent...so it's hard to...tear myself away.


Elizabeth: I hate to admit I've really grown to hate the ringtone on his phone...


Omari: I've cycled it out like four times, but being on call at all times is...I mean you quickly associate the new tone with separation.


Elizabeth: I'm not much better I suppose. But we do what we can to work around those inconveniences as best as we can, and we savor the time we do get as much as possible.


Omari: Thankfully my wing has been fairly quiet this season...


Elizabeth: And I was able to manage a much-needed respite from the tour which allowed our Yule eve and Day to synch up perfectly, thank the gods...*laughs*


Omari: Yes, the only concert my love is playing tonight is for a private audience.


Elizabeth: *Quirks a brow* Now is that the Yule violin pieces I'll be playing while we unwind in the living room? Or are you perhaps describing the more 'intimate' concert I have planned for later that night?


Omari: *Blushes* I...*Coughs* I d-did mean the music yes...*Ahem* Not that I'm not...looking forward to that private...show...


Elizabeth: *Smiles sweetly, blushing* Me too Mari...




WT: Happy Belated Yule everyone! Sorry for the delay...my health is in the toilet! Oh, and happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Ask the Ruminerds: Musical Energy P1


 Vernon: I mean...it depends I guess...sometimes at work even a real toe-tapper ain't enough to make the work feel like less of a drag...


Dawn: Is that usually when you have to prepare for a presentation...


Vernon: * Groans* yeah...I just get so worked up 'cause I know every time I ain't just sellin' a design, I'm sellin' myself. So despite doin' my best to tune things out and de-stress with music. It just...it can't cut through the anxiousness and annoyance...


Gus: I'm guessing you're talking about having to prove yourself when folks see a wolf trying to pitch them a building design? 


Vernon: Unless it's a customer I've worked with before, it's always the same song and dance..." Oh, weird choice to have a wolf present the design to us..." er' "Hey, I said I wanted to meet the real architect!" *Vernon sticks his tongue out* Bleh. A lot of 'em don't wanna hear anymore after they find out I actually am the designer.


Dawn: *Hugs Vernon's leg* Aww...wolfy...


Vernon: Sorry, I sorta drove this off track a bit...just...y'know...I get frustrated...uh...anyway...what were we talkin' about?


Gus: Music energizing you?


Vernon: Right...well outside o' work...I mean, music ain't never got me so full of energy I really want to dance it out er' go fer a run. But it'll get me feelin' extra creative when I'm designin' a buildin' er' structure...and when I'm pushin' through some chore er' what not.


Dawn: I'm the same...I'm not really a big dancer or anything like that...but I feel so infused with creative energy when I hit a really good song while writing...it just makes the words pour out of me like water out of an exploding dam.


Vernon: Y'all sure you don't dance? Cause I know I've caught that wooly butt o' yers wigglin' when doin' some o' the chores while you got them earbuds in...


Dawn: Oh I'm aware, you've certainly 'goosed' me quite a few times while I was unaware...*Chuckles*


Vernon: A wolf's gotta hunt...*Laughs* Besides, can't pass up an excuse to dance with my Honey Lamb.


Dawn: Aww....Puppy, *Gestures the wolf to bend down* C'mere you. *Grips the sides of Vern's face and gives the wolf a deep kiss* MWAH!


Vernon: *Draws back and begins fanning himself with a paw*. This ewe's givin' me the vapors Gustav!


Gus: *Shakes his head, trying to stifle his smirk.* Sweet Sawgrass...you two should get a room already...and don't call me 'Gustav'...you know I hate it...


Melanie: You're only encouraging them. *Snickers*


Gus: Cervidwens Hooves, if it wasn't for the fact it was such a genetic long shot for you two to have kids in the first place, I'd wager you'd be eight litters deep by now.


Dawn and Vernon: *Laughing* 


Vernon: Alright, what about you two?


Gus: I'll admit, the right song can really get me going while writing a campaign setting. Or doing work around the store...though I'm not a dancer...like at all...


Melanie: I have to be half-way to drunk to think dancing is a good idea.


Dawn: So like at our reception them? *Dawn smirks*


Melanie: Hey! That wasn't my fault! *Laughs* I was the only not wolf drinking! Your brother-in-law didn't mix it right for someone my size! I didn't choose to be smashed!


Vernon: Hey I didn't mind, watchin' you dress Yuri down because he hadn't tied yer 'new best friend Ada' down yet was probably the funniest thang I'd seen all night...


Melanie: *Holds up a finger* While I was pretty smashed, my point still stood...That yeen is a goddess...waaay too good for him.


Vernon: Yeah, that's what my whole family says...'cept Yuri anyway *Chuckles*


Joel: Animalme soundtracks supercharge my life! 


Gus: Don't you spend most of your day in a chair making 3d models...


Joel: And playing visual novels!


Megumi: I prefer North Mammalian Rock...nothin' gets my blood charged like a wi-wicked? Wicked solo. Makes cleaning up our apartment or my store so much easier to get through. 


Broomie: I work out a lot now, but even before that music and my job were kind of inseparable, especially on the tougher days when I was really feeling wiped out. When I didn't think I could make the last few blocks worth of deliveries, or the weather just was too miserable, music always gave me the extra push I needed to power through. And it did the same during my...well entry to yoga with Talia.


Joel: Those must have been fuuuUUn...*The llama chuckles sarcastically*


Broomie: Aside from my job, I wasn't a big exerciser...and I certainly wasn't flexible in the slightest.


Vernon: To be fair, most of us ain't...fer me that's the other reason I never went into workin' police like my Pa wanted. Too much...fitness fer upkeep...


Gus: And that's why you've been doughy since high school. *Snickers*


Dawn: Hey, lay off my wolf...*Squeezes his slight gut affectionately.* I happen to be a real fan of dough...*Giggles*


Broomie: Talia didn't force me to like...keep up with her or anything. She didn't even force me into fitness...but she wanted me to be a part of her morning yoga routines and I...wanted to be a part of them too...even with that, most of my morning yoga with Tali is still low-impact...I ended up losing most of my weight for...um...*Blushes* Through other methods...


Gus: *Snickering* Broomie, you animal...


Broomie: Hey, unlike the other stuff, the bedroom was the one place I was determined to keep up! I was not letting Tali down!


Joel: So, did music help you power through or...?


Broomie: Shut up! *Laughs*

Ask the Ruminerds; Fursona and Shin Megamew Tensei

 

Gus: I think that's gonna be just Joel this time around...maybe Megumi too.


Joel: Well yeah, nobody among us is as into Animalme, and animalme styled games in this group except me...and Gus has a particular hatred of anything that takes place in a high school setting.


Gus: It's bottom-tier entertainment...I mean, if stuff set at a high school is always awful in North Mammalian movies and games, why does the same content in Japanda so praised?


Joel: Because instead of singing about how great Highschool is, they have guns and fight zombies or go to the underworld and stuff... it really doesn't compare.


Gus: I was done with High School when I graduated...and I never want to go back.


Melanie: Even if we have kids?


Gus: If we, by the grace of Hornunnus himself have kids, we are home-schooling them.


Joel: Suit yourself...hey, I like the series. it's fun, and playful.... a bit wacky too. I like that.


Megumi: Eh, I'm not big on series...ironically for similar reason to Gus...I'm just...tired of high school stuff...it bore me. I much prefer...fantasy stuff...or stuff that's in a not-so-common setting. So like Cowboy bebop, Full metal Alambist, the classic that is Dragon Maul and Dragon maul Z, that sorta stuff. So a game set in high school based animalme, regardless of supernatural elements just doesn't really appeal.


Joel: Paca plus is set in a high school! *Snorts*


Megumi: YES! I know that! But...it just hit me at right time! There are exception to rule sometime!


Joel: Pft...just sounds like hypocrisy to me...


Megumi: Someone is trying very hard to ensure they won't have warm red panda cuddles tonight...It's all going into my Haida pillow...none for Joel-kun.


Joel: Okay, you know as well as I do that's a total bluff...You want to snuggle as much as I do...you know my neck fluff is better than any Daki on the planet!


Megumi: *Glares at him fiercely before letting out a harsh sigh* Damnit, you see through it every time...you jerk!


Joel: Love you two my little Dakko kuma.


Ask the Ruminerds; Beastars




Joel: Look at this shameless self-promoter...I guess someone's looking for the Ruminerd's blessings...*chuckles*

Gus: More than likely looking for insight from the published author among us as to the quality of his work...

Dawn: I mean...I haven't read a fanfic since...probably college?

Vernon: *Flashes Dawn a dubious gaze* Lamb Fry?

Dawn: *Squirms in her seat* Well...maybe I've read a few here and there in the last few years...

Vernon: Floofs... *Says in a knowing tone*

Dawn: *An awkward bleat escapes her muzzle* A-and maybe wrote a few...back in college...

Vernon: C'mon now Honey Lamb...

Dawn: Okay, okay I was writing fanfics up until the whole Last Night incident...*crosses arms and pouts while throwing a glare Vernon's way.* Happy now?

Vernon: *Chuckles* Least yer bein' honest...

Melanie: Oooh...gossip gal! What kinda fics did you write? What media? *Melanie grins mischievously.* Were they steamy?

Dawn: I mean...yes...*Blushes* A-and I suppose...if you must know, they were largely uh...Fluffy the vampire slayer stuff, some Charmed...and maybe Supernatural in my college years...

Melanie: *Squeals in delight* Oh you gotta let me read them, those shows were my jam!

Dawn: *Cringes* Well I don't like...I mean that stuff is long gone...at least the stuff before college...It was too cringy...b-but I'm willing to share the other stuff so long as you don't tell a soul about.

Melanie: *Makes a cross on her chest with her hoof* Cross my heart and hope to die Dawn. I'll take them to the grave. *Chuckles*

Broomie: Eh...all writers gotta start somewhere...you should have been there to experience some of Gus' writing from his early games back in High School...phew...talk about cringe...

Gus: I'm right here you know...

Dawn: What were we supposed to be talking about anyway?

Joel: Beastars.

Vernon: That that Purrean soap opera? The one with the wolf and the rabbit?

Joel: Soap Opera? Ehhh...Purrean? No. It's a japandese mammanga adaptation.

Broomie: The one with the really pretty wolf girl?

Gus: *Squints at Broomie* And here I thought your attraction to wolves was limited to Talia. *Chuckles*

Broomie: *Sputters* I mean...I...

Vernon: *Chuckles* Ya opened a door that's purty hard to close huh?

Broomie: A-Anyway...er...me and Talia watch it...we like it...but she hates the rabbit...

Joel: Haru?

Broomie: Yeah, she says she's never felt the urge to maul a prey mammal before, but Haru awakens predatory instincts in her she almost forgot she had.

Dawn: I wasn't super interested in the series...

Vernon: Yeah, the guy...Leogshi, playin' the dumb wolf stereotype got old real fast...Fella seems too dumb to function at times.

Megumi: Oh yeah, he's a real moron. And he never develops as a character...he's just a baseline moron throughout.

Joel: It's so much worse in the Mammanga, you have no idea...it's like a train that goes off the rails, and for a while, you think it's going to be okay cause it's still sorta gliding next to the track slowly and no one's been hurt yet. Then it just dumps off the side of a steep cliff into a school bus, and they both tumble into a fireworks factory...all spectacle, no substance, and Juno gets the worst ending possible...Louis just completely walks back the entire series worth of character development and abandons her.

Broomie: FOR REAL!? AWWW...T-that! I don't know if I should be mad because you spoiled it, or mad because it's awful!

Gus: The second one, definitely.

Vernon: Eh...Louis is the deer right? Maybe it's them bein' afraid of goin' full hog with the predator/prey romance in a live-action type deal?

Gus: Sweet Sawgrass, Haru demands to see legoshi's penis at one point...I don't think that was the problem.

Melanie: I also...like...the sexual undertones are really weird too...like I mean first off...this is a fictional world where Predators eating prey is still absurdly common, and then there's like this weird...like they try to equate a predator's hunger to sexual desire...it gets really...rapey?

Dawn: Ew...yeah, glad we didn't get that far...

Vernon: That's real nice...sounds like the author has a fetish...

Gus: Or an agenda.

Joel: Look, if you want the seasoned Animalme veteran's take on it, Beastars was a promising-looking series with interesting, well-written characters that couldn't stick the landing with the plot which only unraveled more and more wildly as the series went on. It's a terrible shame...a real tragedy cause you don't see a lot of interspecies romance Mammanga's make it to the mainstream and get adapted into Animalme's or live-action shows in Japanda. Especially with a pred-prey coupling front and center.

Megumi: It true, it still sort of...shunned in my homeland. A lot of stodgy old tradition that we've weirdly come to take a personal point of pride in as hallmark of our 'unique culture' despite how miserable it make us. My Dad was...he actually passed away at just barely forty-one year old because he work way too hard as paper pusher in some dingy office job and the stress broke him.

Joel: Ah, he was a Karoshi?

Megumi: *Nods* He gave his life to that company. Slave away making himself miserable to support me and my mom, who were also miserable because we never got to see him. *Chuckles darkly* And at his funeral, his ex-boss had the audacity to describe him fondly as 'real company mammal'. *Gags* 

Vernon: Sweet Sawgrass that...that sounds real rough...

Megumi: *Chuckles* Let's just say I do not regret giving his face a good claw massage shortly after his speech. It was well worth the night in the police station.

Ask Dawn and Vern; Workin' Music

 

Dawn: Well Suri Nicks of course! She's my go-to when it comes to writing! *Giggles* That Llama speaks to my soul...But otherwise, when I'm not leaning on Suri for inspiration I tend to kind of...okay, I don't do this all the time, but sometimes when I'm aiming to sort of, put myself in the proper mindset to write a chapter with a specific mood, I'll pull up a playlist of 'mood music'.


Vernon: So like emotional songs fer emotional scenes and like, rock songs fer fight scenes?


Dawn: Right, I'll also sometimes pull up playlists that are vaguely time period specific. For instance, I've recently started writing a supernatural crime drama set in...well at least starting around the 1920s deco period. So I'll pull up a bunch of oldies by the Peltspots or Ella Fitzgergrowled. Maybe a whole playlist of swing and Jazz, although I've recently taken a real liking to...I think it's called electro-swing, though I couldn't mention any specific artists aside from I think...maybe Caravan Pawlace? Most of the other songs are just electro remixes of old songs.


Vernon: Ohh, yeah I like them electro swing song y'all put on...love that sound. Surprised the pups seem to go for it too...Aside from Alli anyway.


Dawn: So she says, but you know Alli...it's all about not being seen liking what she likes...*Giggles* She's at that age where she's concerned about maintaining an image...


Vernon: *Chuckles* True, I was like that...I mean don't get me wrong, I love rock and metal stuff like The Killers, Cheetah's Palace, Gorillaz, Metaillica, Pound Garden, Pink Bovoid, Queen...I could go on, but I also had a weakness fer ol' video game chiptune music which I was real self-conscious about fer years.


Dawn: Aww...Puppy, but why? I mean you were part of your BnB club in high school...you know Gus and the others wouldn't have cared...


Vernon: It wasn't about savin' face in front o' them, heck it was one of the few places I could enjoy chip music cause Gus was real into it too. Well, that and black metal like Rammstein...


Dawn: Really? Rammstein?


Vernon: I mean, he grew up with Gil fer a brother...o'course that was gonna bleed over...


Dawn: Ah, right...


Vernon: Nah, the real reason I was self-conscious was cause I lived with Yuri. A bully that had access to his victim purty much 24-7. Last thang I wanted to do was give him more salvo to pick on me with... By Oldwyn's great grey muzzle he never, ever let Xavier live it down when he caught him listenin' to the Backstreet Baah's....*Shakes head* Er' Britney Spears...N'Mink and the Mice Girls too...


Dawn: *Giggling*Lamb Shanks...I...Xavier was into pop bands? *Tries to stifle a smirk* I-I would have never guessed.


Vernon: Yeah, the signs were really all there weren't they. To be fair, Xavier ain't a fan now...he regrets what he dubbed his previously 'terrible taste'.







Ask the Wolves; Moonlight Love Making

 

Vernon: I mean...it ain't like I'm...keepin' track of exactly when the full moon is to get some...'private time' with my Honey Lamb. Like we ain't goin' out of our way to 'schedule' er nothin'...that ain't how we...operate fer the most part...


Dawn: I mean...I'd like to think most couples are....well I mean they don't 'limit' themselves to specific nights of the week, or monthly events. With us, the only thing we have to worry about scheduling around is where the lambs are, if they will hear us, or if we know they'll be staying with their grandparents, aunts, and uncles for a weekend. *Giggles*


Vernon: Hoo boy, yeah...when we know we got a whole weekend to ourselves we tend to go whole hog...er' in this case whole lamb... *Chuckles*


Dawn: *Blushes* Puppy, hush! *Giggles*


Yuri: Ugh...sounds like a nightmare to me...


Ada: Oh c'mon...it ain't like wes don't gotta pull some creative time management of our own to work out some alone toim in between our jobs.


Yuri: Exactly mah point! Now imagine tryin' to juggle our demandin' jobs and raisin' pups at the same time...we'd never have time fer ourselves with all that chaos goin' on around us...


Vernon: *Ahem* With all that said though, I mean, makin' love under a full moon...there is somethin' real comfortin' about it...it definitely adds to the atmosphere.


Wade: Makes the blood hotter...makes everything feel a bit more...primal?


Zach: Savage even? *Laughs before catching himself* O-oh, sorry Dawn...


Dawn: No worries Zach, I'm fine. The word doesn't make me flinch.


Vernon: I mean, in terms of the ol' wolf belief systems, both Norwulff er Native, the full moon is a representative of the wolf mother Lupa. Her watchful and protective gaze looking over her pups all across Animalia and offerin' them her blessin'. Only time she ain't supposed to be able to see us is durin' the new moon when she 'blinks'. So there's been a er...long time cultural element ingrained in all wolves regardin' the moon. It's where the stereotypes come from...


Trenton: In Volkism, or Norwulffish beliefs, whichever you want to call them, making love under a full moon is encouraged as it's sort of...it's like Vern said, it's a blessin'. A communion if ya will. Lupa is considered the mother of all wolves. She's a fertile goddess, and so she'd want nothin' more than to have her descendants... 'be fruitful and multiply'.


Xavier: So Consummation of a relationship on the night of a full moon is well, it's seen as seeking Lupa's approval on such a union. Granted that's also part of the point of a tithing ceremony, which is why tithing ceremonies are largely held during full moon nights. And since generally, a couple will... consummate on the same night, it is sort of one big plea for Lupa to bless the couple's union, and the offspring it will produce.


Malcolm: I mean, iffin' I recall even long-term tithed couples will usually aim to try fer a pregnancy on full moon night because of that belief in the blessin' thang...


Vernon: *Chuckles* The night we figure we conceived Paige based on how things all lined up was probably durin' the full moon that March. So...I mean...it probably didn't 'help' make that happen' er' nothin'...but...I mean who can say?


Dawn: It is an interesting 'coincidence'...*giggles*


Ulric: I've done a pretty intensive study on old Norwulff religion stuff...mostly in preparation for the trip me and Honey took to Norwulff to visit the family crypts.


Yuri: Y'all mean the trip that got our pack banned from ever visitin' two countries, and made us the center of an international scandal?


Ulric: Yeah?


Yuri: The one that Dawn had to bust her ass to get lifted so at least Ma and Pa could visit Norwulff fer their anniversary, and see it before they died someday? And they absolutely refused to lift the one in Scottram altogether so Dawn and her Ma have no chance to visit their homeland in their lifetimes?


Ulric: Your point is?


Yuri: *Shakes his head and mutters* unbelievable...


Honey: *Sheepishly* Eh....still sorry about that guys...


Ulric: Anyway, supposedly it pleases Lupa to watch her pups consummate their love. To become 'one' under her watchful gaze, and express the highest form of love one can with their partner. It gets...really mushy and sentimental. Not my kind of thing...


Zach: Kinda saccharine iffin' I'm rememberin' the part yer talkin' about. "Two mammals, united as one, pledgin' their souls to one another un undying adoration and love" er...somethin' along them lines.


Ada: Jeez...Lupa's kinda a perv huh? *Cackles*


Vanna: I mean...so are most other gods if one is to consider the whole 'omniscience' thing that most of them supposedly have. So Lupa isn't exactly unique.


Qali: I mean, I feel it...and I'm not a wolf. A full moon night definitely adds to the atmosphere...like Vernon said...it just makes it more...romantic.


Dawn: Especially if you are outside...*giggles*


Ada: In a cornfield I takes it? *Laughs*


Vernon: Well...I mean...not factorin' in the whole...gettin' caught risk...er' the howlin' thang...I gotta say that night in the cornfield at Ma and Pa's was...I mean...it felt right...*Blushes*


Dawn: I mean...it felt wrong too...


Ada: But fun wrong?


Dawn: *Blushes* I mean...I'd be lying if I said no...*Snickering* I only wish the heat hadn't made it a somewhat painful affair before we uh...reached climax. Then again, had it not been for my remnant estrus being so bad in the first place, it wouldn't have happened...and as bad as I feel about the fact that I sort of...forced Vernon's paw and broke Audrey's trust, as well as alerting everyone in the district to what we were up to...looking back it was...*Cooes softly* it was really something...


Qali: Me and Trenny have made love dozens of times in the tree field...thankfully he's not much of a rut howler, so we never really had to worry about my Dad or Sisters catching us...but those nights, under the stars...*sighs wistfully*


Trenton: Sometimes in the snow even...


Qali: *Giggles* Yes, even in the snow...it...it almost felt magical at times.


Ada: What is you nuts?! Ruttin' in da open snow? 


Wade: Yeah, I mean...I've never done that...


Giselle: Well once...*Giggles* But that was in a hot tub...


Wade: Yeah, but that's my point. It was snowing on us, but we weren't really 'out in the cold'...


Giselle: Speak for yourself! We were in a bloody large mammal hot tub, perfect for you but tiny for me! *Laughs* Seriously I think about everythin' above my knees and hips was above the water line! Luckily I happen to be pretty cold resilient unlike the rest of my family...well that, and we found...other ways to keep warm...*Giggles*


Ada: Still, Trent ain't no arctic wolf despite how much he looks like one...how could yous stand that?


Trenton: We had a blanket...and one of those space heater thangs...


Qali: And a really long extension cord. *Giggles*


Honey: Makin' love under the moonlight for my first time with Ully was pretty hot for me...even if it was in a Norwulffish prison cell...*Chuckles* In fact, that may have added to it.


Ulric: It was not romantic! It was...I was trying to make you feel better! I-It's important to...it was for moral an-!


Honey: Sure it wasn't my little prisoner of love...*Snickers*

Friday, December 16, 2022

Ask the Felidaes and Zach; The Family Religion

 

Vanna: We're almost all practicing Binduists, although to different degrees. Thankfully it's a pretty flexible religion by its nature, so generally our beliefs don't tend to clash with others.


Padparadscha: It's often referred to as a 'family of religions', because by design it is very open to embracing other religious viewpoints, and even taking them into itself at times.


Zach: Not that y'all had to worry about clashin' with my belief system too much to begin with anyway Kitten, I'm more of a passive Volkenist instead of a devout one...not that Volkenism is a very 'my way er' the highway' belief system to start with.


Lucero: Well one does not have to be a devoutly religious person to be uncomfortable with another mammal's religious practices. That said, I'm proud to have a son-in-law who was so open and willing to accept our daughter, along with her very traditional family.


Myra: Not 'that' traditional...*Laughs*


Vanna: Says the least devout of all of us.


Myra: C'mon Sis, if Mom and Dad were so traditional they definitely wouldn't have let you marry Zach! Heck, they wouldn't have even let you pick who you married!


Padparadscha: I would be a hypocrite if I had held rigidly to my parent's beliefs on species and caste, as well as a monster. *Shakes Head* And I would have never met the love of my life had I given in to their ridiculous demands.


Lucero: *Clutches Pasha, and nuzzles sweetly into her hair.* Oh Pasha, my love...to think of a world where I had never met you would be unbearable. You are my soul...


Padparadscha: *Purring softly as she nuzzles Lucero back* I would endure a thousand lifetimes returning as the lowliest cockroach if it meant spending just a minute more with you...


Vanna: *blushes slightly* Perhaps, this is a good moment to explain some of the Binduism belief system, considering my mother just touched on one of the tenets.


Myra: Okay well, reincarnation is a thing. We believe in the 'Samsara', or the 'Wheel of life' philosophy. Birth, death, rebirth, ad infinity.


Vanna: Infinitum.


Myra: Whateves. Oh, also unlike most of the religious systems Binduism stands alongside, we don't have a name or species for whoever created it. It's sort of an amalgam of local species traditions and beliefs all coming together to build an overall...like philosophy for life.


Lucero: Although each species who practices Binduism likes to believe it was one of their own kin who truly founded it, and I am no exception.


Vanna: *Rolls her eyes* Dad. 


Lucero: Truly the primary dharma could be crafted by no other species than a wise, great and noble tiger. *Laughs proudly* 


Myra: *Mumbles* If he was so wise, he wouldn't have pushed for arranged marriages...or allowed a 'caste' to form in the first place.


Lucero: Myra, come now...do not forget all religions have had millennia to be obscured and darkened by those with sullied Dharma. We have no way of knowing if this tenet came from divine inspiration or the muddled mind of a mortal mammal. I choose to live my life leading with the tenet of reverence for all life equally, a tenet which has no place for specieism or caste.


Vanna: Which is why we would stop and pray before each dinner of fish or chicken in order to thank the animal that has blessed us with its sacrifice so that we may eat.


Myra: You still do that?


Vanna: Sometimes...


Myra: Fish can't even feel pain...you can't expect me to believe they have a soul too...


Zach: I-I don't really think there's anythin' wrong with bein' thankful fer a good meal...


Lucero: *Chuckles* It is quite alright Zach, do not feel the need to step in as though you are diffusing a potential fight. Pasha and I agreed long ago that we would not push our beliefs on our daughters. Everyone's life is a journey of spiritual education and self-discovery. We all must find our own way, on our own path. Besides, no disagreement in philosophy is worth losing touch with our daughters over. *Laughs* And again, we'd be pretty huge hypocrites if we demanded obedience like our own parents.


Padparadscha: Mostly my parents. Your's were quite accepting of me if I remember.


Lucero: It's true, my parents were quite open and flexible when it came to their own beliefs in Binduism, and I've tried my best to lead by their example. It certainly makes for a much less stressful life. *Chuckles*


Vanna: I really miss our trips out to Mane to see Grandma and Grandpaw...they were always so much fun.


Myra: Yeah, Granpaw was a kick! If you think my Dad is wild Zach you should have met ol' Raj! 


Lucero: *Laughs heartily* Yes, my father deeply loved life, and he instilled that in me as a young kitten, though even now I still pale in comparison to that towering, joyful, boisterous old tiger. If any mammal in all of Animalia had achieved true Dharma, it was him.


Vanna: Do...you guys remember the...thing with the log?


Lucerio: Ah the Cago Tio! You girls used to love that!


Zach: Caga what?


Padparadscha: Although...that's not really a Bindian tradition...more of a local...Catalonian thing...


Vanna: I didn't love it per say...but it is amusing to think back to those Yule mornings...with all of us trying to get the Caga Tio to...produce presents...*Stifles a snicker*


Zach: What is this thang? Like a Yule log?


Myra: It's a log you pretend to feed leftover food to, and then on Yule morning you beat it and then it shits presents.


Zach: What? *Pft* What 'ya mean-Kitten what does she mean it "shit's presents?"


Vanna: *Shaking with laughter as she tries to hold it in.* Y-you heard her.


Zach: *Clearly confused but trying to stifle his own laughter.* Myra?


Myra: Then it shits a fish out to let you know it's done pooping presents out for the year. *Myra is now stifling her own snickers*


Pasha: *Now laughing* You forgot about the part where you sing songs to it in between beatings to encourage it to...make. *laughs*


Lucero: As if beating it wasn't encouragement enough! *Cackling* 


Myra: The beatings will continue until the present output improves! *Laughs*


Zach: Y-yer all serious? *Snickering*


Myra: As I said, Grandpaw was WILD!


*Everyone starts cackling*


Thursday, December 15, 2022

Ask Dawn and Vern; Mammal Size Classes and the Tusk Party

 

Vernon: Aw, well I guess we never really talked about how...er' size classification works in Zootopia...though I'm surprised to hear from someone who's never heard that sorta thing since I think most countries have it.


Dawn: There are plenty of countries still out there that don't really have a system like ours, usually due to them being largely homogeneous when it comes to the diversity of species. 


Vernon: Well I guess we should kinda explain that to help explain just what makes a mammal a 'mega' er' microfauna...and the average.


Dawn: Well the Zootopian average anyway...even so, almost all of this has to do with a height and weight standard in regard to classification. Obviously, there are some species that are almost always born into a certain height and weight class to start with save for some special cases. Giraffes, elephants, and rhinos are generally seen as being 'Megafauna' by default. But basically, any mammal that cracks about eight feet tall and over three hundred pounds is classified as a 'Megafauna Class Mammal'.


Vernon: Below that class would be the 'large' class o' mammals. This hits about everythin' from five to eight feet in height and under three hundred pounds. This includes Wolves like me, Hyenas, Tigers, Deer, them sorts o' mammals. This class covers a lot more mammals but is still sorta high up there which is why we ain't considered the 'average'.


Dawn: The 'average' class is naturally the most common rubric used in Zootopia, at least in terms of structure and accommodation. This class is made up of mammals between three to five feet tall and up to about two hundred pounds. Generally, this group includes foxes, sheep, other smaller canids and felines, etcetera. Under normal circumstances, I should also be a part of that group, as ewes are generally around four feet tall, whereas rams tend to hit the five-foot marker. However, I'm one of those 'special cases' I mentioned earlier. I was born a runt, and due to...repeated injuries during my formative years, my growth was pretty badly stunted. I'm not considered a 'dwarf sheep', but only medically and by the grace of having a few inches on how tall most dwarf sheep would stand.


Vernon: So that puts my Honey Lamb in the 'Small' Category...not that I mind. Just makes her easier to cuddle...


Dawn: Aww...Puppy...*gestures him to lean down and places a kiss on the tip of his snout.* You're sweet.


Vernon: Not as sweet as you Darlin'. Gave ya the nickname Honey Lamb fer a reason...*Chuckles* Well, a few reasons...


Dawn: *Dawn Blushes* Puppy, shh! *Ahem* The 'small' class of mammal covers mammals between one to three feet tall, and between about one hundred to two hundred pounds, although most small-class mammals tend to skew toward the lower end of the weight scale. Here you find mammals like bunnies, skunks, otters, opossums, red pandas, and so on.


Vernon: After that, it gets a little more complicated...er' rather, at this point they had to cram about two different distinctions in about a one-foot range...


Dawn: Right, below 'small' class is the 'tiny' class. This class covers mammals specifically between half a foot and a foot tall. Weight is less of a consideration in this class to try and make classification less confusing because the next two classes are so close to one another. 


Vernon: Basically, y'all need to satisfy the height requirement first and foremost as the weight can stand to push mammals over a category line despite bein' too short to use 'tiny' specific amenities.


Dawn: The weight ballpark is generally around fifty to hundred pounds in order to be considered 'tiny' if you're going to use it. But, it's really more like under eighty pounds...I think they were just aiming to keep the numbers cut into nice little groups of fifties and hundreds, but I don't think I've ever met a 'tiny' mammal that hits over eighty pounds. Unless it's on one of those 'reality shows'.


Vernon: Like "Little Rodentia's; My Hundred Pound Life?"


Dawn: That's what I was thinking of, but I mean seeing it on tv versus seeing it live are two different animals altogether.


Vernon: *Chuckles* True...


Dawn: Anyway, Tiny mammal groups include squirrels, ferrets, martens, stoats, and so on.


Vernon: Right, and below that ya got 'Microfauna' which, I mean, I've heard that ain't the right word y'all should use to describe 'em.


Dawn: Well, the term microfauna was originally created to describe microscopic organisms if I'm not mistaken. But it became a sort of cultural thing to call really small classes of mammal microfauna due to the fact that 'Megafauna' was so commonly bandied about to describe mammals on the opposite end of the spectrum. It ended up sticking, and thus it eventually became the 'official' classification term used in many nations, with 'Microorganisms' replacing the original term for Microscopic life. Though now some 'Microfauna class' mammals are starting to push to get the name changed because of its association with microorganisms.


Vernon: Wait, it's offensive now? Why?


Dawn: Some um...'extra-tiny' mammals don't appreciate sharing the formal title given to microbial life due to the association with viruses and other disease vectors. Naturally, most rodents already have a strong stigma levied against them due to the plague-based persecution, and that name just makes it worse.


Vernon: Ah...I guess that makes sense...so...'extra-tiny' it is then.


Dawn: Yes, extra-tiny works just fine. Anyway, the Micro-er...'extra-tiny' class of mammals is basically made up of the remaining range of height and weight. So basically under six inches tall, and under fifty pounds. Naturally, this category includes mice, rats, moles, hamsters and so on. 


Vernon: So mammals like my co-worker Moira fit in here...and Judy's friends in the Big family.


Dawn: Right, you don't get any smaller than them, and so that's basically the bottom of the classification system. Now, with all that said, you should have a better idea of exactly what sort of goals and priorities the Tusk Party might have. It was initially founded by mammoth and elephant species, and extended to cover the needs of giraffes, rhinos, and all the other species that make the 'Megafauna' classification requirements. However, like most other parties in modern society, they are generally open to all those looking to join.


Vernon: However, don't be too surprised iffin' y'all go to a 'Tusk Party' meetin' and need a ladder to reach one of the chairs. Or y'all can't reach the buffet table...


Dawn: Yes, while they are open to all species, the membership does tend to skew Megafauna...and so most of the venues they work out of are...super-sized. 


Vernon: Same goes fer the Packrat Party...which we actually went to one o' them meetins'.


Dawn: Oh yes! I remember Moira wanted me to speak at one of their functions...*Giggles* it was pretty awkward.


Vernon: Yeah, we had to sit outside the restaurant they was meetin' at and basically peek in the windows to watch the other speakers...and the food...well...it was...less than fillin'...*Chuckles*

Ask the Author; Zootopian Summer Vacation

 

Wasty: I think it's kinda dependent on just where you are in Zoot, as much like in our real world, summer vacation is sort of dependent on climate. Back when I went to school, we went from September to June, and I had relatives in the south who went from May to late August because it was hotter there generally...even if it didn't feel it compared to where I was. Generally, Zootopian schooling has less days and hours across the board, but the way they'd be distributed would more than likely differ down to the district since almost all of them have dramatically different climates.


In the North and South Meadowlands, as well as Alpine Glade, I could see school pulling a start in October, and ending in June, which would be the template for the cooler climates.


This would largely be matched in Savannah Square and its downtown area. Where we start to depart from the average would be places like Savannah Central and the Rainforest district. Because these places are hotter than average, they would probably see a start about a month sooner in September, whereas they would end closer to mid-May to get ahead of the brunt of the worst of the season's heat. Tundra Town would more than likely would adopt a similar scheme, but instead of try to get ahead of the warmer season, they would be trying to make the most out of it as possible before returning to those rapidly cooling months after September.


The only District that's up in the air is the Nocturnal District, which cavern climate sets in a somewhat different situation than all the others. I feel like what they'd probably have to worry about the most is a rainy season, or heavy melt season, depending on what other district is feeding into the caves the most. I'm going to go with 'melt runoff' being the primary concern, as the Noceternal District is positioned mostly under snowcapped mountains. This would probably put them starting school somewhere around August, and being let out in April to keep travel minimized during 'flooding season.'

Ask AU; Childhood Friends AU

 

Wasty: I think the difficult thing here...aside from bringing the ages in line, is figuring out how to have them all grow up in the same general area while still maintaining large elements of their initial upbringing. What I would probably do would be to drop everyone in roughly the same area, and the one that's most accommodating for everyone involved would be in between the North and South Meadowlands, with Nick living in the more suburban Southern Meadowlands, and Judy and her family being shifted up to the North Meadowlands either with them moving or having always lived there. I'd also shift over Gideon Grey and Sharla and her brother to keep Judy's Kithood mostly consistent.


Starting off, I think Dawn and Judy would become friends first, what with both being fairly small mammals. Considering young Judy's personality, I think she'd notice a very shy and timid Dawn and feel sort of compelled to befriend her. She'd also usually be the one to stick up for Dawn against bullies even if her efforts to do so were easily blow off by most mammals since she was just a 'weak little bunny'. Through that connection Dawn would also be befriended by Sharla, as Judy would have met the little black lamb before Dawn and brought her along. Vernon would come along shortly after, with the same situation occurring that brought them together in the first place, only this time there'd be a distinct difference. The bully would be Gideon Grey. I imagine Judy would miss school semi-regularly due to having to help with the family farm, which would end up leaving Dawn without a defender, and after several attempts on picking on the ewe spoiled by Judy going Hall Monitor on Gideon, the first absence since Judy started stepping in for Dawn would leave an opening to good for the fox to pass up. After all, the tod knew there was no way Sharla would step in without Judy. Sharla would run to the teacher to get help, but by the time she got help the situation would have already been handled by a certain grey wolf pup.


Vernon would still leap into the fray, pulling the same stunt he always did by recklessly fighting a bully, but he would more than likely win this one, as despite being a runt, he'd still be bigger than Gideon. The next day Dawn would introduce Vernon to Judy and Sharla and tell her about how he sent Gideon wailing for a teacher, and Vernon would immediately earn the rabbits' friendship. In a short time, Judy would become super enamored with Vernon's family after finding out just what they did, and would probably get to the point of driving Vernon and his brothers nuts by asking endless questions about real police work. As they grow up, she even develops a little kithood crush on Vernon's Dad for a while because he's just 'So COOL!" in her words. And unlike her own parents and most of those in the community, Dorian and the Hunters, (Save for Yuri), are super supportive of Judy's dream. Dorian even allows her to train with the boys, much to Yuri's annoyance.


Dawn and Vernon's friendship is still briefly broken up by Aster about a month after the trio unites. However, Dawn having multiple friends in school rather than just one wolf gives Clover the extra push she needs to leave her husband the night he breaks Dawn's friendship bracelets, (As there is now a bracelet from for both Vernon and Judy.) At that point, Dorian brings Clover and Dawn to the Hunter Ranch to stay while Clover files for divorce and looks to find a new home for her and her daughter. They end up staying a year before, with the help of Dorian and Judy's Parents, managed to find a small townhome relatively close to both the Hunter Ranch and the Hopps farm, thus allowing Dawn continued easy access to her friends.


Nick would come along later, shortly after the 'Ranger Scout' incident. I figure Nick's Mom would be a mixture of heartbroken and livid that her son was treated the way he was, but knowing she wouldn't be able to get anyone to do anything meaningful about it, and that Nick would still have to go to school with those kids that teased him, she calls on her cousin in the North Meadowlands and with their help quickly relocates her and her son out of the suburbs. That cousin is Gideon Grey's mother, and while part of the intent of moving Nick up there was so he'd be able to be friends with his second cousin Gideon, and have a fox friend, the pair immediately rub each other the wrong way. It doesn't help that they're forced to live under one roof while Nick's mom attempts to find a new job and a new home for the both of them.


Fairly quickly the two get in a fight after Gideon finds out that Nick is still holding on to some of his ranger scout uniform and teases him mercilessly over it, eventually sending Nick running out of the house in tears. Nick walks alone for a while, wandering the local roads of the North Meadowlands until he gets to a small bridge over a river. Nick, still crying considers tossing the last of his Ranger scout gear into the water when he's discovered by an awkward little billy goat who mistakes him for a new recruit to the scouts he hasn't met yet. After Nick reluctantly explains himself and what happened, the little goat refuses to let the young tod throw away his ranger gear, instead promising to get Nick into his own troop. This little billy, if you haven't picked up on it by now, is Gustav Hornsly. 


With Gus vouching for him, the fox is inducted, (reluctantly on the part of the den leader), into the North Meadowlands Ranger Scout Troop. Of course, that reluctance came more from his being related to notable troublemaker Gideon Grey more than anything. But being friends with the weird sickly little goat is bound to get you picked on, and thus a similar situation happens to that of the initial bathroom swirly scene where Gus met Vernon. Only now, Gus is quickly dropped in favor of Nick when the tod steps in to defend his friend. Of course, his charisma isn't enough to save him, and so the tod finds himself about to get the crap kicked out of him by a lumbering teenage cheetah when Vernon enters the bathroom and breaks the whole mess up. Nick tries to play off needing the wolf's help, but Gus undermines him by thanking the wolf for saving both their hides. Gus and Vernon become fast friends, with Nick tailing behind as the friend group is finally connected.


A lot goes on from that point in terms of character interaction. Gus and Vern start the school's BnB club together, dragging a reluctant Nick along with Dawn, Judy, Sharla, Broomie, Joel, and Claire. Judy ends up joining the ranger scouts and being one of the few mammals aside from Gus willing to work with Nick, the pair become fast friends. Dawn still briefly dates Gus in this timeline, and then the 'singles' prom situation plays out similarly, only now Dawn has a significantly larger female support group advising her as to what to do, and the same goes for Vern with his male support group. Of course, being friends with Claire, Dawn knows she has feelings for Vern and that does cause friction when Dawn develops her own feelings for the wolf. And as for Vern, you can bet Nick mercilessly teases Vernon over being a prey chaser. Of course, that's before actually going to the prom, and the wolf actually catching feelings for Dawn, at which point Nick is oddly sympathetic and encouraging.


Meanwhile, ol' Gideon Grey has been out of the picture for a while, at least in terms of picking on members of the group. It is only when he comes to see Nick and apologizes to him that everyone learns the chunky tod has been seeing a counselor and has mostly mended his ways. He apologizes to everyone in the group and is eventually absorbed into it. In the lead-up to prom, Gideon and Sharla really warm up to each other, but it still really shocks the group when Gideon asks Sharla to the prom, and even more shockingly she agrees. Naturally, this puts Sharla in the best position to really rally behind Dawn when her own romantic feelings for Vern begin to form, as well as makes her the best to confide in about her feelings next to Judy.


After graduation, Judy is the first to rocket into the local police academy, with both Dorian's training giving her a head start, and a written recommendation from the law wolf forcing a lot of the instructors to push aside their misgivings about a rabbit aiming to be a cop. According to Dorian, starting out in the North Meadowland Police would make for a great stepping stone to getting into the ZPD, a goal that the doe is eager to shoot for. By this point, Nick and Judy have become really close, and so she ends up encouraging him to follow along with her into the NMPD, and after some training with ol' Mam' Hunter, the fox signs up for the academy as well.


Vernon is reluctant to go into the police academy. He feels...sort of pigeonholed by his father to take up the work and definitely feels uncertain about the whole thing. But with two of his friends in the academy, the wolf decides to go for it. As for Dawn, encouraged by seeing all of her friends enter, especially Judy, and having endured the 'Hunter Family' police regiment herself, and done quite well in Dorian's eyes, Dawn follows swiftly along with her mate. While Vernon and Judy prove to be strong in the athletic portion of the training, Dawn, and Nick really shine in the more mental investigation and observation aspects of the work. The four are hired onto the NMPD shortly after graduation, and while Vernon and Dawn stay in the North Meadowlands and rise to the ranks of deputy. Judy transfers out to the ZPD about two years in, with Nick following shortly behind his partner. 


Though now separated, the four meet up fairly regularly and remain close friends even into the present. Although the four of them have begun to muse about the prospect of creating a private investigation business in Zootopia to run together. Whether that happens or not, who can say? It was a fun little tangent nonetheless.


Yearbook Transcript


Yo Gus, hope summer camp won't keep ya too busy. Me and Dawn are gonna really miss havin' ya around. Plus without you around to stem the flock, these ewe's 'er gonna eat me alive.

-Yer best friend "Sheepdog" A.K.A. Vernon Hunter


I'm sorry things didn't work out between us Gussy. I hope we can always stay best friends! See you after your Ranger Camp stuff.

-Dawn Bellwether


Howdy Gus, Sorry I'm not great at the BnB stuff! Still had fun though!

-Love, Sharla Baker


Thanks fer makin' me feel welcome after all I did ta most of ya. Thanks for the second chance.

-Gideon Grey


Hey Gus, have fun at Ranger Camp! Much Love,

-Claire Baahley


When you get back, you owe me a pocket mammals rematch!

-Yer Bud Dylan Broomie


Ey Shatterhorn, hate to admit it, but I actually had fun "playing pretend" with your other nerd friends in club. See ya in the Ranger Scouts Summer Camp. Heads up! I'm coming for that merit badge record!


-Nick P. Wilde - Your 'better' best friend.


Hey Ranger buddy! Looking forward to summer camp? I know I am! Hope you prep a campaign or two for the slow nights! I'm really digging this roleplaying stuff.


-Judy Hopps


Hey Dude, have fun at summer camp! Promise I'll have a bunch of Mamanga's to share when you get back! I swear to keep the porn ones to a minimum.


-Joel Pacal




(And here's a 'yearbook signage free' version of Gus' yearbook page for the BnB club. The characters are around 16 to 17 here.)

Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Ask the Ruminerds; Terrible Video Games

 


Vernon: Oh, they don't know...


Dawn: Don't know what?


Gus: Of course, they wouldn't know, I don't think they've ever asked this before. *Snickers*


Melanie: Oh no...now he's gonna drive back to his parents and get it.


Dawn: Get what? What are we talking about?


Vernon: Well...I er...I mean Gus should probably tell it...he's the one sittin' on it after all.


Gus: Well...as you guys know I'm an avid collector of a few things. B&B rulebooks, Minifigure sets, RPGs, that sort of stuff... but there is something else I used to collect...and that something was terrible games I'd pick up at yard sales and flea markets. 


Dawn: Wait, you collected 'bad' games? Why?


Gus: Morbid fascination I guess, maybe a desire to kinda theorize what went so wrong with each game. Some were also broken in a fun way, so there was that aspect, but regardless I made a habit of collecting them.


Vernon: Yeah, by the time we met y'all had a pretty hefty collection of 'em, even the really old ones...


Gus: Well my Dad was a dork, and a bit of a collector himself, so by the time I was old enough to pick up a controller I had access to his old Petari, Llamadore 64, NES, SNES, and even the ol' Preyga Genesis with all the terrible attachment things they made to keep it on life support. And havin' all those consoles and playing them as much as I did as a kid, I became aware really fast that some games seemed insanely difficult or super unfair. It was when my Dad caught me playing E.T. and bleating with impotent toddler-aged fury that he explained to me that some games were just bad. That it had nothing to do with my own skill level, it was just an awful game. That concept blew my young mind. I could imagine why someone would make a bad game, and my Dad really couldn't tell me. 


Vernon: Couldn't tell ya?


Gus: Well I mean it told me there was a bunch of reasons, companies being cheap, trying to rush stuff out, all sorts of stuff. But it still left me curious about design choices and stuff like that. So I started quizzing my Dad on all the games he had that were bad, and then I went right to playing them.


Melanie: My Gussy, the masochist...


Gus: By the time I met Vernon I had already started collecting 'bad games' alongside my retro and new consoles. Supermam' 64, Zippy R, of that one Doom clone for the SNES that they turned into a caprid bible game?


Vernon: And what's worse, he made me play 'em with him...


Dawn: No...


Vernon: Yep. Every time I came over and saw he had that...damn chest out...I knew I was in fer a rough sleepover...


Dawn: Chest?


Melanie: Gussy's Chest of gaming Horrors...


Gus: *chuckles evilly to himself* Yes, yes...and now that I've been reminded of its existence, I think it's time to bring it out of retirement...