Ask the BellHunters

Hello, I'm Dawn Hunter-Bellwether...er, formerly Dawn Bellwether if you didn't recognize the added surname. And before you ask, yes 'that' Dawn Bellwether. Ex-Assistant Mayor, Ex-Mayor, Ex-Criminal Mastermind (Reformed thank you very much), City Savior, Controversial Author, and Predator/Prey relationship advocate. I'm also, as you probably guess by the hyphenated last name, married, and happily so to my mate Vernon Hunter, a gray wolf. I'm also a mother to three wonderful pups, something I never thought I'd ever have the chance to be! But, lamb sakes, I've gushed enough about myself here without explaining exactly what this blog is for. You see, after the release of my book “Predator Seeking Prey”, our little family started to get a lot of public attention again, and with it came a lot of question from curious mammals and other pred/prey couples from all over Animalia. My best friend and mate Vernon thought it would be a good idea to deal with these questions directly by opening a sort of blog/forum and taking those questions about our lives directly. Since then, I'd like to say our little blog has been quite successful, with even members of our family and friend circle pitching in and taking a few questions as well. So with all that said., please feel free to Ask Away!


Oh, and also, feel free to check our old location for previous asks until we can get a better archive system in place!


The original Ask Dawn And Vern Tumblr! This blog is a continuation/reboot of the "AskDawnAndVern" tumblr, as I am permanently locked out of the Tumblr at present.

https://askdawnandvern.tumblr.com/


(Blog Author Note: This blog is based on the fanfiction “The Rehabilitation of Dawn Bellwether” as well as it's pseudo-sequel “A Lamb Among Wolves”. If you haven't read them, it'll probably help you better understand what's going on here if you do. I'll link both stories below. Oh Also, I'm open to questions as well. Simply direct “Author” emails to “WastedTime” when composing them. And before I forget, I have a Patreon! Five dollars gets you access to in progress fics, Ask priority, and art previews of both SFW and NSFW art. Of course, even a dollar would help. Seriously, it's how I keep projects like this alive.


The Rehabilitation of Dawn Bellwether:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11999389/1/The-Rehabilitation-of-Dawn-Bellwether

A Lamb Among Wolves:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12364172/1/A-Lamb-Among-Wolves


Wasted Time's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/wastedtimeee


Saturday, August 24, 2024

Ask Wasty; The Ideal Selves AU

 

A Zootube video starts playing from a channel called "IdolPawz". The view count alone is staggering, with a number that rivaled the total population of Zootopia three times over. which explains just how it ended up on the trending tab. The intro is flashy and fast. Pink and blue ribbons bounce around the screen like a multiball pinball bonus before being overtaken by bursts of similarly colored halftone grunge splatters. Each hatched cluster of color appears with what sounds like paintball pellets colliding with fabric. Amidst the frenetic and lively display, speedy lines of scratchy, aggressive-looking Kanji moved across the screen so quickly it would be illegible even to native speakers. It was as if someone had put the very essence of fireworks as a concept into a 720p window. And all the while, this swirling, overstimulating display of graphics was set to music that sounded like an instrumental mixture of pop and metal music. 

The all-encompassing cacophony only lasted for about thirty seconds, the energy swelling and swelling before coming to a dramatic and powerful crescendo of graphics and music as the channel name smashed into place in the center of the screen, shaking the canvas that surrounded it as though it were earth-shattering.

And then, just as quickly as it exploded on screen, the graphics began to crossfade, transitioning to what looked like someone's personal bedroom that had been haphazardly turned into a set. The massive table, far too large for the diminutive red panda girl sitting at its center, resembled something more akin to an old dining room table rather than anything professional. It had clearly been made for larger mammals, and as if to compensate for the huge swath of negative space immediately surrounding the stocky, bearlike mammal seated almost below its edge, the remainder of her table surrounding her workstation was absolutely cluttered with a vast collection of boy band merchandise. Shirts, hats trinkets, limited edition cups, it all cluttered the table to the edge of the visible screen. The colorful and gaudy display, not satisfied with being limited to most of the tabletop, extended into the backdrop of the 'set', the walls covered from floor to ceiling with boy band posters so thick that the actual color of the wall was anyone's guess. It was a collage of sweaty, shirtless, masculine mammals frozen in a variety of dynamic poses. Jumping in mid-air, backs arched or hunched down low in a mock predator's stalk, the scene was about as active as your average comic book despite the dueling interests represented couldn't have been farther away from one another on the spectrum of geek. At the centerpiece of this shrine to pre-teen pop music culture was a large poster for a band known as "Caress of Claws".

The tiny mammal, dressed in a rather frilly, glittery, pop idol gown that matched the aesthetic of the average ice cream truck cleared her throat awkwardly. She took a moment to adjust her oversized microphone, appearing to have to fight to sheer volume of her poofy, glittery attire before clasping her hands together. It was clear she was doing her damnedest to appear calm and professional, yet her body language betrayed her performance. Her whiskers twitched and spasmed infrequently, and every few seconds she chewed at her lower lip aggressively. And, though the silence was brief if you listened closely, it was easy to make out the red panda's slow, deliberate breathing, as if she were trying to maintain a level of calm that was hanging on by a thread.

"He-LOO-!"

Her statement had briefly pitched into a near squeal before she stopped herself. She quickly tried to cover up the crack in her voice with a sharp, ragged cough, her eyes briefly widening with horror before slipping right back into the mask of professional stoicism with an ease that would have been commended by the news anchors at ZNN.

"Hey Idol fans, Mei XionMao here with another blood-blistering, pulse-pounding, pheromone dripping, swoon-inducing episode of the IdolPawz 'Paw'dcast!"

Mei paused for a moment, offering the viewer a smug smirk as she playfully bobbed her eyebrows. It was clear she was quite pleased with herself.

"See what I did there?" Her cheesy grin widened as she leaned toward the camera as if she was actively fishing for praise from an audience that couldn't exactly answer back at the time of recording. "PAWD-Cast?"

"It's even less funny when you won't just let the bad pun hang there..."

The dull, uninterested-sounding voice had come from off-screen.

Mei's muzzle frushed crimson, her brow furrowing as she snapped at the mammal to her side.

"I thought you were keeping your commentary limited for this episode Emiko!" Mei hissed bitterly. "You hate the boy band episodes!"

The camera blurred for a moment, the view drawing backward to reveal that there were actually more mammals seated boyband banquet table. Directly to Mei's right sat what appeared to be the source of Mei's anger, a skunk dressed in a dark hoodie with hard-to-read, scratchy kanji written on the front. Around her neck hung a pair of headphones so large they were more reminiscent of some sort of Sci-fi Starwolves breathing apparatus instead of a simple music device. Compared to her co-host, this skunk looked as though she had woken up two hours ago, and had chosen to wear whatever clothes she had found on her bedroom floor that didn't smell. She was slouched in her chair so deeply that she appeared almost fully reclined, her head slunk into her shoulders to the point that her forehead appeared almost level with them. She stared at her laptop with what appeared to be profound disinterest, her tired eyes laced with the barest hint of bags as she acknowledged her co-host. Apparently unable to muster the energy to meet the firecracker seated beside her's fiery gaze.

"Limited..." Emiko muttered with a sigh. "I didn't say I was like...taking a vow of silence or anything..." She gave a half-hearted shrug. "Besides, someone's got to run the technical stuff..." Emiko rolled her pale blue eyes with little effort. "Since someone refuses to learn it..." She grumbled at an almost inaudible level.

Mei maintained her glare for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh, flashing a dull glare toward the audience. 

"Long-time viewers will remember my cohost, Emiko Sutoraipu, our Puppymetal correspondent." The red panda gestured a paw in the direction of the skunk with as little enthusiasm as Emiko seemed to hold for everything else.

"Yo." Without looking up, the skunkette flashed the camera a metal longhorn salute.

Shaking her head dismissively, Mei gestured to her other co-host, a toweringly tall hyeness seated to her left.

"And this is my other co-host who specializes in K-pop coverage, Roxxy Sauti..."

The lanky hyena offered a surprisingly shy wave while her other paw remained fixed to the front of her muzzle. Like Mei, she wore an equally snappy outfit, though her's was less focused on frills, and more on a smooth sheen. Her silvery mini-jacket and matching pants created a rainbow shimmer that danced along the fabric like sunlight on an oil slick as she stewed uncomfortably in her seat. The bulk of her face, awash with a mixture of nervousness and excitement, was hidden behind a draping swoop of dark black hair that featured a prominent bright blue highlight.

"M-Mostly Kpop, but that doesn't mean there aren't a few North-Mammalian and Zootopia-born boy bands that don't stir my very soul..." She murmured. A strange, the tail end of her statement being delivered with a gravity and seriousness that ran in direct opposition to her previous bashfulness. "Like today's special guest..."

"Yes! yes!" Mei chirped excitedly, clapping her paws rapidly before snapping back to her formerly composed demeanor. "Today we have  a super special ep-!"

Roxxy's sudden, almost maniacal giggling cut Mei off. "By Jasiri, I just can't believe we got an interview with-!" She shook her head, shrinking into her shoulders as her crimson blush deepened. "OH EM GOODNESS I CAN'T EV-!"

"SHH! SHH!" Mei raised her palms, waving frantically as she tried to hush her increasingly frantic co-host. "Don't spoil the surprise!" 

Roxxy clasped her muzzle shut with a paw, but her trembling frame betrayed the whirling energy building within her. Mei rolled her eyes, letting out a sigh.

"So much for keeping this professional."

The little red panda closed her eyes, straightening her posture as she let out a slow and deliberate sigh. 

"Caress of Claws." She began, sliding herself aside and gesturing her paws dramatically to the poster at the center of her homemade shrine. "A boy band which stands up there with giants like N'Mink and the Backstreet Bucks despite only being relatively new to the Zootopian Boy Band scene."

"Ugh, the Backstreet Bucks..." Emiko rolled her eyes, feigning a gagging motion.

"Quiet Emi!" Mei hissed before returning to her presentational gesture at the poster behind her. "Just do the zoom please!"

Emiko sighs, and with a few clicks of her keyboard the camera blurs again as it zooms in order to better display the band poster, and the members standing proud and tall on the stage, each striking a powerful pose. There are five mammals, all predators, and all wearing matching blisteringly white shirtless vests and tight-fitted pants. The stood positioned left to right from tallest to smallest. A Polar bear stands at the far side, his arms crossed, eyes obscured by baby blue slatted shades. His pose was the least 'dynamic', and yet exuded an aura of pure 'cool' energy that was befitting of the baritone member of the band. Next to him, a Bengal Tiger stands in an arching pose, a claw pointed to the sky while he belts his heart out. Not to be outdone, dead center amid the cast of hunks stands a lithe, almost feminine-looking cheetah. His eyes are closed, muzzle twisted into a snarl so deep it forced his eyes closed as he wailed into the microphone wrapped in his paw. 

On the far right of the stage, almost blocked out by what appeared to be some creative 'marker work' clearly done by Mei herself, was a small, snowy white arctic fox. The smallest of the groups mammals was caught mid-strut. His smug, confident grin engaged the camera with the energy that only a mammal of vulpine descent could pull off convincingly.

But, what was most noticeable part of the poster, mostly due in part to Mei's creative use of emphasis with a circle drawn in red marker, along with several crude hearts floating around it, was the band's fifth member. A grey wolf stood between the arctic fox and cheetah, his back arched and paws curling inward as he howled to the heavens with all of his might. His reddish-brown head fur clinging to his muzzle as he bellowed upward.

The camera drew back to the hosts as Mei cleared her throat.

"And today..." Mei continued, her chest seeming to swell with pride as she spoke. "We actually managed to land an interview with not just one of the band members but..."

Mei began to blush, drawing into her shoulders shyly and averting her gaze. She raised her paw, wafting it rapidly toward herself as if she were trying to cool down the rapid flush that had built up so quickly beneath her pelt. "M-my personal favorite member." 

The little red panda coughed into her paw, doing her best to compose herself prior to the reveal. Her whisker twitched only intensifying as she struggled to keep it together. "We here at the Idolpawz crew are proud to introduce..." She bit her lip with an almost, eager anticipation. " The bad boy with the heart of go-."

"VEEJAY!" Roxxy cried! "OH EM GOODNESS! WE HAVE VEEJAY!"

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO INTRODUC-!" Mei was mid-snarl when she caught herself, quickly drawing back from her co-host as she straightened the hem of her cotton-candy colored jacket. Despite her attempt to look professional, the scowl on her muzzle remained.

"VEEJAY; the bad boy with the heart of gold." Mei uttered dejectedly, gesturing to Emiko.

In a few moments, the display shifted to a four-camera call, each of the three hosts appearing in their own camera window which sat squarely underneath the larger 'guest' window. Filling the above frame was the same wolf from the band poster. Unlike the girls, the wolf was lounging on a couch or bed draped in a deep green. The camera taken up by his face, his glimmering green eyes and broad, disarming smile taking center stage as he leaned his head against a paw. The rest of his body tapered into the background in a lazy repose, his fluffy grey and cream-colored tail lazily wagging as he mugged the camera.

"You're really too kind...is that what they're calling me now? The bad boy with the Heart of Gold?" He chuckled. "I don't think management ran that one past me."

"It-."

Mei is cut off by a shriek so loud it was a sure thing that it could be heard throughout all of Savannah Central by even the deafest of mammals. Mei and Emiko reflexively shrank into their shoulders, ears flat against their heads before turning their irritated attention to the source of the shriek, Roxxy. The lanky hyeness has her paws clapped to her muzzle, an aura of giddiness oozing from her quivering form.

"Sorry, sorry!" She murmurs sheepishly, her blush practically radiating through her fur as she trades glances with her significantly smaller co-hosts. Her breathing was sharp and fast, but still overall quiet as the fangirl seemed on the verge of hyperventilation. 

"This was supposed to be professional!" Mei snapped up at the towering hyena.

"I know! I know!" Roxxy whined, chewing at her claws nervously. "I-It's just, I mean...y-you're VeeJay! Talking to us! Oh Em Goodness-I can't-" Roxxy shook her head. "I need my inhaler!"

As the large member of the Feliformia family began frantically digging through a bubblegum pink backpack that had been previously hidden beneath the table, the wolf in the webcam video chuckled softly.

"It's fine. Trust me you aren't the first fan I've met whose default method of communication is shrieking." The wolf shook his head softly. "I'm always guaranteed at least one shrieker at a concert, granted that's because my Mom goes to almost every single show...though my brother Xavier has managed a few competitive shrieks of his own when we play shows in San Francisgoat."

Another, more subdued shriek comes from Roxxy, the hyenaess cutting herself off by taking a puff of her inhaler before continuing her girlish squeal of joy.

"ROXXY! COOL IT!" Mei hissed, The flustered felid quickly closed her muzzle with both paws this time, offering her diminutive cohost a meek smile.

"Ahem...you'll have to forgive Roxxy, but we are just...So, SO honored to have you here VEEJAY." Mei said cooly, doing her best to keep the interview on track.

"You girls can call me Vernon." The wolf smirked. "VeeJay's my 'stage name'. Management thought the nickname sounded more hip and cool."

Roxxy let out another, albeit almost whisper-quiet, giddy girlish shriek, which Mei seemingly chose to ignore.

"W-Well let's start there...." Mei rolled right into the interview process, holding a paw to her cheek as she tried to hide the growing blush of her muzzle. "M-Mr. Vernon...um....why VeeJay?"

"It's my first and middle name. 'Vernon James'. They just abbreviated it and then went with the phonetic pronunciation." The wolf replied, gesturing a paw toward the camera lazily.

"Awesome..." Mei swooned, seemingly forgetting where she was for the briefest of moments before snapping back to reality. The little Red Panda shook her head briskly, running her paws down her muzzle and face in a few, rapid and broad strokes before bringing her paws together and reassuming her stoic stance. She coughed awkwardly, quickly brushing her muzzle with a paw in a movement so quick that if you blinked you'd surely miss it. She had to be sure she wasn't drooling after all.

"Oh, yeah, your management actually sent us 'approved questions'." Emiko chimed in. "They seem like a bunch of uptight hard asses..."

"EMIKO!" Mei snapped at the skunk. However, Vernon just chuckled, clearly amused.

"I don't necessarily blame them for that, I don't envy their job one bit." He said with a snicker. "That said, you can just throw those out if you want. Half the reason I love doing interviews with smaller, less structured shows is because it's nice to have a real conversation when I can."

"What's the other part?" Emiko asked, never looking up from her laptop.

"Any excuse to talk to genuine fans is always a delight." The wolf flashed his trademark grin, flicking a bit of his chocolate-colored head fur out of his eyes with an almost aloof indifference. " Talkin' to fans, making them happy with what i do, it...honestly what keeps me going."

Another quiet squeal emanated from Roxxy, the Hyena now using her jacket to cover the entirety of her face to stifle her shrill shrieks of ecstasy. Only one eye seemingly peeped out from the shrouded safety of her makeshift tent.

"Okay, settle down tea kettle..." Emiko chuckled.

"That's so cool that your Mom goes to most of the shows." Mei replied cooly.

"Well, she feels she's pullin' double duty for my Father..." Vernon winces slightly. "He's not too keen on my...choice in career. But I mea-." 

"One of the first things on the "No go' list was not to ask you about your family..." Emiko interjected. " Was that a management call, or a you call?"

"EMIKO!" Mei snarled, glaring at the skunk to her side. Emiko never broke gaze with her laptop, completely unphased by her co-host's hateful gaze. However, as Mei maintained her glare, Emiko's unbothered demeanor would eventually falter. A defeated sigh escaped her muzzle. "I just...figured 'rebels' usually butt heads with their parents and all..." She scoffed. "I know I do..."

Vernon laughed. "No, no it's mostly management. Though a little bit of it is to keep my family out of the public eye. Still, from management's perspective, they really don't like me telling everyone I grew up rural, on a farm no less."

Mei let out a soft gasp of shock. "On a farm? Really?"

Vernon chuckled. "Yeah, it doesn't sound as good as having grown up on the streets of Zootopia proper." The wolf shook his head dismissively. "They've actually tried to insinuate I grew up on Pack Street, which is known for being a rough pred neighborhood. But even my Wikipawdia page says I grew up in the Meadowlands."

"Woah, talk about the sticks." Emiko uttered in mild surprise. "Did you have a North Meadowlands accent?"

"EMIKO!" 

"I did actually. Hated having it even before I got scouted at my school talent show." The wolf shrugged. "It took a lot of hard work with multiple speech therapists to get rid of it. And if I'm being totally being honest...it still creeps back up whenever I actually get angry."

"Y-you mentioned your Dad didn't approve?" The timid question had come from the shuddering mass of shy yeen to Mei's left. Her blush had grown so fierce she was starting to look like a ripe tomato with fur.

"My Dad's a Sheriff, my other six brothers work in law enforcement, and he wanted me to grow up to work as his deputy." The wolf laughed. "Last thing he wanted was to have a son prancing around on stage half-dressed with a bunch of girls pawing at him and his bandmates." The wolf shook his head with a dull, dismissive laugh. "I can't tell you how long it took just to get him to understand that a boy band and a male stripper aren't the same thing."

Mei and Roxxy grew flustered almost as soon as the word 'Stripper' had left Vernon's muzzle. Mei now joined the hyena in trying to hide her flushed face as she turned away from the camera and covered her muzzle with a paw. Even Emiko, despite her impassivity seemed to don a light blush of her own as her gaze shifted away from the laptop camera. The wolf seemingly didn't notice, electing to continue with his small rant.

"He's learned to accept it, but actually going to the shows isn't really his thing." The wolf chuckled. "Knowing him, he would probably voluntarily take it upon himself to work security because he wouldn't know what else to do with himself in that sort of setting."

"So far you don't sound like as much of a bad boy as advertised." The goth skunk murmured.

"Emiiiiko..." Mei's usual rebuke had given way to a whine, the tiny red panda slumping onto the table in defeat. "You said you wouldn't do this..." She groaned through the wood. "We'll never get a big-name guest again!"

Vernon simply chuckled, choosing to ignore Mei's mini-meltdown and answer Emiko earnestly. "Well, I think most of my 'trademark rebelliousness' is aimed at my managers." He shook his head. "Sometimes I'll totally agree with them, like when it came to losing my rural twang, or picking up playing guitar. But most of the time I'll butt heads with them worse than an ornery billy goat."

"What kind of stuff did you disagree with them on, can you talk about it?" Roxxy interjected, seemingly finding her voice as Mei remained slumped in her defeated heap.

"Well, they won't be happy for sure." He snickered. "I know I'm going to get an earful after this interview is done, but generally we fight about anything they try to foist on me that I feel is trying to make me fake who I am."

Pulling her head from her arms, Mei sighed. "What do you mean?"

"Like the stuff about growing up in the city on Pack Street, or starting a rumor that I had been in a knife fight over a she-wolf once." The wolf rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "There's a very specific image they want to cultivate with me, with all of us really. They really want to make my puphood and teenage years more dramatic then they were."

"R-Really?" Roxxy asked, peeking out from her hoodie cautiously.

The wolf held his paws out defensively. "Not to say I didn't...well, my teenage years were rough. But being a bit of a rough and tumble teen at a rural middle school doesn't sound as dramatic as being one of the toughest, baddest wolves in Pack Street Public School." The wolf winced. "It just doesn't seem as...threatening I guess. But it's not like I didn't get into some nasty scraps in Meadowlands Middle and High School. Just cause I grew up country doesn't mean it was a walk in the park. Especially when I made it my mission for a while to make my life as difficult as possible, as well as my parent's lives, and the lives of those around me."

"What's the most egregious and shameful lie they wanted you to take part in?" Emiko now seemed vaguely interested in the conversation, sitting up straight in her seat and leaning forward slightly with the barest hint of anticipation in her expression. "Willing to share something juicy?"

"This is so far off the rails it's not even funny..." Mei groaned. Emiko simply dismissed her co-host with a paw.

"Oh hush, let me have some fun." Emiko replied with a smug smirk before turning her attention back to Vernon. "So, juicy tidbits?"

"Trying to force me to date a girl for 'appearances sake' for one." The wolf replied without hesitation. "And more recently, trying to convince me to break up with a girl I really care about."

All three girls' eyes widened slightly, and both Mei and Roxxy joined Emiko, leaning forward with eager anticipation and the juicy gossip that possibly awaited.

"Do tell..." Emiko mused, a smirk crawling across her muzzle.

"You're dating someone!?" Roxxy's question was almost a whine, drabbling from her muzzle with a defeated, dejected tone.

"Your managers wanted to control who you date?" Mei asked.

Vernon nodded softly. "Granted the manager who was pushing me and Chris' sister together was sacked."

"The 'VEESARI' thing wasn't real!?" Roxxy asked, looking more relieved than anything else.

"For those unfamiliar, you mean your bandmate Chris Clawleighe? And his sister? Sari Clawleighe?" Mei asked.

The wolf nodded. "Chris and Sari didn't want it either, but the suits thought dabbling in an interspecies romance that was still 'safe' would look good for my 'rebel image'." Vernon rolled his eyes along with his wrist." Plus they thought they could farm drama by making it seem like Chris wouldn't have wanted me to date his sister, and that we'd be at each other's throats. It was so-" The wolf shook his head. "Let's just say I'm glad they got fired."

"What do you mean by safe?" Emiko asked, her paws now resting neatly below her chin as she remained leaned up on the table, fingers intertwined as she listened intently.

Vernon flashed the camera a rather dull, half-lidded expression. "An interspecies relationship, any really, I think most would call controversial when it comes to the music and media world. It's still sort of a taboo there, even if it is 2015." The wolf gestured at nothing in particular with his paw. "But, two different species of predators isn't as...outrageous as say...a predator and prey couple. It's not the kind of coupling that will have parents boycotting shows and getting our songs pulled off the radio. So it's seen as 'marketably edgy' by the higher-ups." The wolf frowned. "Which is why, conversely, management is pushing for me to break off my current relationship before it goes public and is, as they put it, 'beyond damage control'."

"Oh Em Goodness..." Emiko cooed, wafting a paw at herself in a pantomimed display of being hot under the collar. "Does that mean it's a prey mammal? The Bad boy is a full-fledged crosser?"

"Is it Gazelle!?" Mei asked, seemingly having given up on the facade of professionalism as she twisted her claws anxiously. "Ultimate power couple!" She practically squeed.

Roxxy's mood, however, had soured completely. The yeen's arms were now crossed, her head sagging dejectedly. It was clear the idea of Vernon dating anyone was almost sacrilegious. At least, if one had to guess, if it wasn't her anyway.

The wolf chuckled. "No, no, it's not Gazelle." The wolf leveled his gaze at the gaggle of girls, a wry smile crawling across her muzzle. "But...it is a prey mammal..."

"OH EM GOODNESS! OH EM GOODNESS!" Mei squealed, clapping her paws together. "It's just like 'You preyed on my heart!' Mei's eyes went wide, a sudden pang of realization running down her spine as she clasped her paws together tightly. "Is that why you wrote it!?"

Vernon rubbed the back of his neck, the faintest hint of blush forming on his muzzle as he averted his gaze from the camera. "Well, me and Chris wrote it together...but my parts were largely written for her..."

Mei's squeal was loud enough to rival Roxxy's introduction to Vernon. Conversely, Roxxy let out a blubbering wail.

"Ladies, ladies..." Emiko placed her paws out, gesturing at the girls to her side to reign it in. Her tone was calm, laced with the barest hint of amusement and mischief. "We've got a groundbreaking scoop on our paws here. But that said, we need to milk it for just a little bit..."

"Wait, WHAT!?" Mei whined, flashing the skunk pleading eyes. "We can't drag this out! I need to know!"

The spirited red panda grabbed the hem of her co-host's hoodie, shaking the skunk aggressively as she stared into her very soul with hopeful eyes.

"THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!" She spat.

Emiko pressed her friend away, taking a moment to wipe the flecks of excitable spittle that had followed Mei's dramatic declaration off her whiskers and snout.

"Yes, I agree...but we're overdue for a sponsor break." Emiko replied, gesturing at her laptop. "We can't afford to delay the spot, especially considering just how prime the meat of Veejay's interview is proving to be. Can you imagine if we were live-streaming right now? The numbers we're going to pull when this goes live are astronomical!"

Vernon laughed. "You sound like my manager." He admitted.

"Can you sit with us while we do the ad read Vernon? " Emiko asked. "It'll take like, thirty seconds tops."

"I'm in no hurry. You girls do you, get your hustle on." He replied with a charming, toothy smirk.

That smirk seemed to earn a legitimate blush from the skunkette, Emiko quickly averted her gaze, once again fanning herself with a paw. Although this time it didn't appear to be an act.

"Right, well let's Um-" Emiko coughed awkwardly, slinking further and further behind her laptop to hide the creeping crimson on her face. "Let's talk about 'BandMake', the go-to site for making merch for your indie band at affordable prices..."


(Part 2 Maybe)

Friday, August 23, 2024

Ask Honey and Ulric; Ulric's Lost Job

 


Honey: That's an easy one. We've both been effectively 'blacklisted' from conventional jobs thanks to being caught up in an international scandal.

Ulric: My department didn't take kindly to the fact that I'm a truthseeker! *The wolf crosses his arms, scoffing.*

Honey: For those who were living under a rock, Ulric and I were responsible for revealing to the world via live stream that Moira Blackwool and Erik Duclaw had the first recorded sheep and wolf hybrid pup...er...lamb...child in history...

Ulric: *Holds up a finger in a corrective fashion.* As far as we know!

Honey: Naturally, that alone was enough to cause an international incident between Norwulff and Scottram. Plus the fact that we essentially broke into the sacred crypt of the Duclaw pack by exploiting Ulric's blood relation to the royal family, and essentially desecrated a tomb by blowing open a sealed slab of stone and opening a sarcophagus that hadn't been opened in four hundred plus years that was strictly off limits to pretty much everyone...well, it didn't exactly help our appeal.

Ulric: And Honey got banned from streaming her gaming channel for six months because when we were celebrating she forced herself on me...*Ulric shakes his head dismissively.*

Honey: *Frowns* Don't say it like that! *Crosses her arms and pouts, averting her gaze from her mate* I only jumped into your arms and kissed you...once we were on the floor you were kissing back just as hard!

Ulric: *Rolls eyes* So, aside from getting the entire Hunter family banned from entering both Norwulff and Scottram, something my *Cringes slightly as he utter's Dawn's title.* 'Sister-in-law' and Father had to negotiate with the Norwulff royals to get lifted for everyone. Well, everyone excluding me and Honey-

Honey: It was pretty much the only thing the Norwulff government wouldn't budge on. Every offer in the negotiations included keeping the lifetime ban in place for me and Ully.

 *Ulric clears his throat in irritation, clearly less than pleased at being cut off.* 


Ulric: BeCaaause....*He flashes Honey a brief glare* Because we were seen as responsible for causing the international incident with Norwulff and Scottram, most civilian jobs, especially ones tied to any sort of authority or government, we essentially got black-balled from polite commerce. So...my forensics degree is now useless outside of the skills I've picked up because no one in need of a forensic scientist is going to want to hire one with this black mark on his record.

Honey: Aside from my six-month ban for 'performing sex acts on a PG-13 stream', it was a bit touch and go as to whether pressure from Scottram or Norwulff officials would be enough to see me banned outright...*Laughs* I tell you, if it had been Great Kitten, or Zootopia proper, I'd be gone too. Thankfully Scottram and Norwulff's governments, while powerful, aren't as powerful as Zootopia, the NMU, or Great Kitten. So for now, HoneyOnTheMoney Gaming endures, which is good as it's the only source of income we have right now.

Ulric: Well, my own stream did see a fairly substantial increase in subscribers after our discovery.

Honey: Your 'own stream' has been demonetized since even before the Hybrid thing! Ever since you went on that very, VERY speciest rant about sheep after the first Night Howler incident!

Ulric: And I refuse to apologize! *Ulric crosses his arms defiantly, ears splaying against his head as he closes his eyes.* The historical track record of sheep as a species shows they've chosen to undermine all other species whenever the opportunity arose! *Shakes head* Although they're not nearly as bad as all those filthy rode-.(REDACTED)

'In the interest of keeping our own podcast from being banned from the network, the rest of my brother-in-law's seven and a half-minute rant about the hygiene and breeding habits surrounding rodentfolk has been cut from this broadcast. Thank you for continuing to listen to our podcast "Ask The Bellhunters", Where we will continue to take your questions and answer them to the best of our abilities.'

- Written by Dawn Hunter-Bellwether, and approved by Dawn and Vernon Hunter-Bellwether.


Ask Wasty; East and West Hyenya

 

WT: I'm probably going to screw this up, as I feel like I was purposely vague with this in previous answers, but I may have assigned each country already and may accidentally invert them. Still, I guess I'll correct if it's pointed out I've retconned something older.

East Hyenya, the nation on the interior side of the mountain range, would be classified as a Matriarical Dictatorship. It's a brutal place, where its leadership is decided by the strongest females among them. Hence there's no room for a 'royal bloodline' to take hold since literally any other female can challenge and overthrow them. Male hyenas are second-class citizens and are treated harsher than females in every area of life.

West Hyenya is a democratic republic where males and females are supposed to be treated as equals, and leaders are elected. But there's still a hint of female bias here and there. That said, West Hyenya is doing all it can to combat that, sometimes even over-correcting by being softer on males which causes its own issues. But they are actively trying to find that balance, and the nation is doing better for it. West Hyenya is also closer to contemporary technology levels, while those in the East are about twenty to thirty years behind, and pretty much only get tech upgrades when they invade East Hyenya and steal it.

West Hyenya can't go five years without attacking and trying to forcibly re-incorporate East Hyenya back into itself. As such, the border between the countries is always slightly in flux. West Hyenyan's tend to be old-school zealots that believe in female superiority that is in line with the old ways. To them, the fact that the East Hyenyans have split the motherland and actually treat the males of their species as equals is seen as a slap in the face to their ancestral goddesses. This zealotry is why they can't let East Hyenya go, and will probably continue to try to invade them to 're-unify' until they destroy themselves or both sides. East Hyenya simply wants to maintain its right to exist and keep in step with the world around them as they continues to progress. It wants its people to work together on equal footing to improve everyone's lives. 

Sadly, West Hyena's fervent pursuit of keeping the old ways can only end one of two ways. With its own destruction, or with the destruction of both countries. This is why East Hyenya has come to the nuclear talks table, as a deterrent. Whether it would work or not, who can say?

Thursday, August 22, 2024

20 Years Later; Ask Wyatt, Fat Raccoons?

 





Ask Vanna; Do you love Milk?

 


Vanna: About as much as anyone else I guess...I....drank a lot more when I was a kitten.

Zach: Well, most pups do...they've been pushin' milk hard since the nineties. *Chuckles* It was practically propaganda...

Vernon: Well they had just come off the eighties, where anti-drug propaganda was king. *Laughs* Not that I'm defendin' drugs er' nothin', but the anti-drug stuff was almost comically with how ham-pawed it was.

Vanna: I think cats are more known for having an affinity for milk for some reason though...even the "Got Milk" ads featured more feline folk than other mammals, though I think the stereotype is older than that...

Zach: Yeah, I think the cats love milk thang goes back...almost as far as the whole rabbits and carrots thang...so I'm guessin'...maybe cartoons?

Dawn: Hmm...*Looking over phone* It seems Bindian Tigers were some of the first mammals to actively trade bovine folk for milk. This was apparently because due to issues with malnutrition at the time, along with Tigresses generally having more kittens than available milk during that period, they had to seek out supplementary dairy for their kittens. Sometime after that, adults also began to drink the excess milk, and it became a staple drink...

Vanna: I honestly didn't know that...

Vernon: That makes sense...I think Norwulves did the same with goats and sheep. *Chuckles* Cause the Norwulves often had more pups than nipples to go around...though it didn't become associated with us in the same way.

Dawn: *Still reading* When the New Pridelinds made Contact with Bindia, Milk became popular among the royal lions in Great Kitten, and eventually filtered down to the general masses. This would eventually lead to the creation and popularization of the Yule favorite, Eggnog...

Zach: Aww, you love eggnog don'tcha Kitten...

Vanna: *Winces* Yeah...I do...

Ulric: Pfft...I don't. It's like you guys said, that milk stuff is propaganda. And I don't consume propaganda.

Vernon: That's why y'all got osteoporosis. 

Zach: And why Honey's gotta put Calcium supplements in yer food...

Ulric: HONEY DOES WHAT?!

Ask Dorian; Pulling over his Pups.

 


Dorian: Two thangs I never did while them boys were growin' up. One, was use my position at the station to mess with them...

Audrey: *Chuckles* Ya'll saved razzin' 'em fer the house.

Dorian: *Raisies a second finger* And two, I didn't do them boys any favors iffin' they got into actual trouble themselves. Iffin' they were caught speedin' they got a ticket. Iffin' they got caught intoxicated, they ended up in the drunk tank fer the night...No slap on the paws.

Audrey: Dori wanted it ta always be clear to the rest of the North Meadowland's that just cause the boys were ours, didn't mean they was gonna get special treatment. *Chuckles* My Darlin' Dori was a public servant above all else...

Dorian: That said, I think Zach caught a parkin' ticket off duty once, other than that, *Winces* we had two...drunk in public issues with Yuri before he left fer school...

Audrey: I...try to be a little soft on them incidents cause it was so close to when yer Pa died Dori...Aldus meant a lot to Yuri and...even though I'm mad he went and drank underage...I get that he was hurtin'...

Dorian: Hey, ain't like I wasn't dealin' with it myself...still, Yuri spendin' those nights in the drunk tank was probably fer the best...made sure ta' keep him from makin' a few more dumb decisions while he was wallowin'...*Chuckles* Aside from callin' me every name in the book in the process...

Audrey: *Chuckles* I remember that, I swear them words ya'll told me...I don't think I'd ever heard curse words like that before or since 'iffin' I'm bein' honest.

Dorian: *Places a paw to his chest, flashing his mate a surprised glance.* Don't look at me! I ain't never heard most of them words he picked up before either...*Chuckles* What are they teachin' them pups in school these days?

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Ask Dawn and Vern; Zootopian Flag

 






WT; This is actually the canon flag of Zootopia. It appears in a few scenes, though not usually waving, just sort of hanging. One notable appearance is in the Bull pen. I would also think it would be at Judy's grad ceremony but I can't remember.

Ask the Foxes; Favorite Fruity Desserts

 


Nick: That's a stereotype.

Cameron: The chicken thing? *Chuckles*

Nick: No, the fact that we eat dessert with fried chicken. *Laughs*

Cameron: I default to the words of a great comedian for this one. "All these years, I thought I liked chicken because it was delicious. Turns out I'm genetically pre-disposed to liking chicken."

*Nick and Cameron share a laugh*

Nick: To be fair, the fruit thing is a fox stereotype too. *Shakes head* Ever since someone penned that 'Fox and the Grapes' story, foxes have always been associated with grapes...which is only half right...

Cameron: *Chuckles* So what's your Achilles 'peel'? *Cameron bobs his brows to emphasize his 'pun', only for Val to let out a groan in reply*

Nick: Oh Blueberries, paws down. *Laughs* My perfect day ends with a piping hot slice of some of Carrot's Mom's Blueberry pie served with a dollop of vanilla ice cream...*Runs his tongue across his muzzle, patting his stomach appreciatively before striking a rather conspiratorial expression and cupping a paw to the side of his muzzle. Nick leans in, speaking in soft tones.* Don't tell Carrot's, but Misses Hopps pie may be better than rutting, by Saint Robin's Quiver I swear it.

Cameron: *Rolls his eyes, chuckling softly* Well, I wouldn't go that far with my own favorite fruit, but I will admit it has worked its way into the bedroom once or twice...*Snickers*

Val: *Now clasping her paws to her ears* DAD!

Cameron: Oh hush Motobug, This conversation doesn't concern you...

Val: UUUUGGGGHHH...

Cameron: For my wife Marian, she was all about pears. *Shakes head* I always found them too bitter myself, too gritty, but she just loved a nice succulent pear on a warm summer's day. *Chuckles* Her personal favorite dish was a simple baked pear, and much like you she loved it ala mode.

Nick: And what about you old timer? *Snickers*

Cameron: *Rolls eyes* Old?! I'm what, ten years older than you at most? *Shakes head* No, but me? I'm all about Honey Crisp Apples...crispy, sweet, tart...*Laps at his own muzzle* So tasty on their own, but then you go ahead and slather them in caramel and....*Shudders* Makes my tail fray with pleasure with every bite.

Val: Are we done now, can we-?

Cameron: Of course Marian wasn't great at making caramel apples, though to be fair I wasn't any better at baked pears.*Chuckles* Though I'm blessed that Clover both likes apples as much as I do, and makes a mean caramel apple herself...not to mention she makes an amazing apple pie that's ju-!

Val: CAN WE BE DONE PLEASE!?

Cameron: Oh, Val...are you feeling left out? Did you want to chime in?

Val: *Crosses her arms and huffs* No...

Cameron: Val has always been big on strawberries, and my adopted daughter Ellie loves Raspberries. *Chuckles* Though granted she's not a fox...Oh, and Cassie. My youngest now, she's a sheep and she loves grapes, the green ones specifically...

Val: Hey, that wasn't like-! Me giving permission to tell everyone my favorite fruit on my behalf!

Cameron: *Shakes head* Vy-fly, you're twenty-two now, you really must outgrow these social tantrums you love throwing whenever I'm trying to socialize around you.

Val: Socialize fine, just leave me out of it!

Nick: *Shakes head* I don't think that's something you ever outgrow when it comes to your parents..Just the other day I whined, honest to the gods, whined, because my mom fixed my lapel in front of Carrots after we had lunch the other day at her place. *Chuckles* It was involuntary, it left my muzzle before I was even aware it was happening...

Cameron: *Sighs* Some things never change I guess...*Chuckles* I'll just have to wait until the day comes where Val has her own kits to whine at her about how she's 'embarrassing them'.



(20 Years Later)


Val: Well, Melody loves those nasty cotton candy flavored grapes, and Marian, being the 'drama queen' she loves to pretend she is, likes to say she loves red grapes, but in truth it's peaches.

Melody and Marian: MOOOoooOOOOOM!

Val: *Pauses, with a dawning horror* Saint Robin's Quiver...I'm my Dad...

A triple Dose of Asks; The Ruminerd's and Kodi's Pups.

 


Question 1; The Last Wish


Vernon: The pups liked it...

Dawn: *Swats Vernon playfully* You teared up, don't lie...

Gus: I teared up. *Chuckles* It was a surprisingly moving kids movie all things considered. Better than I expected from anything related to Shrek at this point.

Melanie: It was- honestly I had totally written off that franchise off after part two. So I was surprised.

Vernon: I don't think it touched the Pups the same way though...I'm purty sure Edi kept rollin' his eyes to the point they was liable to roll right out of his head.*Shakes head*

Gus: Well you have to really go for the gut with little kids. Lest we forget movies like "The Land Before Time" or "A North Mammalian Tail"

*Vernon and Dawn visibly Cringe* 

Vernon: Oh gods, where Littlefoot's mother dies? *Shakes head* I was inconsolable fer weeks when I first saw that movie...

Dawn: The Cat attack scene in "North Mammlian Tail" is still embedded in my nightmares...*Shudders*

Melanie: *Rubs uppers arms, clearly uncomfortable* Gods, those movies... No wonder we're all so messed up...

Gus: Speak for yourself. Those movies proved we're made of sterner stuff than today's kids...We need to go back to those kinda kids movies, where the creator doesn't underestimate the emotional maturity alot of kids have...

Vernon: Really Gus?

Gus: What? When given the choice between those and the garbage they pump out for kids these days, which would you rather choose?

Vernon: *Winces* Alright...fair point...



Question 2; Lego Games


Gus: I've played Lego Star Wolves. Fun game series...oh, that and the Lego movie game.

Vernon: Nah, no interest. I preferred playin' with actual Lego's as a pup...

Gus: Not surprising coming from the architect. *Chuckles*

Melanie: *Shrugs* I liked the Lego movie game, but generally I can't get into 'Lego' games...

Dawn: Why is that?

Melanie: This is going to sound...*Shakes head* Really dumb and nitpicky, but like...*Sighs* It always really bugged me that only the characters and the stuff you could interact with were made of legos, but then the wider scene was just...like, not legos at all. The Lego movie and in-universe Lego games are the only ones I can think of that have the entire world made of Legos...

Vernon: Yer...right, that is purty nitpicky...

Melanie: IT BUGGED ME OKAY!? It's not consistent!

Gus: *Chuckles* Welcome to my world guys.

Melanie: It clashes! My brain can't rationalize it...

Vernon: It does beg the question as to why not just make the whole world in each game lego too though...I guess it's harder? *Shrugs*

Gus: More likely the devs are lazy and cheap...*Chuckles*

Dawn: my only experience with Lego games was the Lego Harry Otter games, and...I can't really complain. They were what I expected as a lamb. Funny and fun to play...*Is quiet for a moment*

Melanie: You're thinking about how in the Harry Otter Lego game, the world isn't Lego, but the characters and stuff are now aren't you? 

Dawn: *Shakes head* I am, and I hate that it's bothering me...

Melanie: And now you'll all be thinking it from now on. *Cackles maniacally* Welcome to MY world now!


Question 3 (20 Years Later) ; Marian and Melody's Dad



Melody: I love my Dad! He's awesome!

Marian: Pft...He's alright...