WT: That face when your girlfriend would rather snuggle up with your tail...
Friday, July 31, 2020
It's like I'm not even here...
WT: That face when your girlfriend would rather snuggle up with your tail...
Thursday, July 30, 2020
Father's Day
Vernon: Well,
technically this here's my second father's day. Got to experience my
first one last year just around the time we found out my Honey Lamb
was carryin' Paige. O' course, I didn't exactly know much about
celebratin' Father's day from the Pa's side of thangs and all, and
with everythin' that was goin' on at the time it was a kinda a subtler
celebration.
Dawn: With
Ulric and Honey in jail in Norwulff, and me spending a few days in the hospital
while they continued to run tests on me, Vernon didn't get the
father's day he deserved. Granted, I had been putting plans together
with the pups to surprise Vernon, but...well...those kinda changed
during the chaos of that few weeks.
Vernon: Aw hush
now Honey Lamb, it was more than fine. I mean, what better present
could a Pa possibly ask fer than knowin' his mate is carryin' his
pup. Havin' a nice hospital cafeteria dinner together and gettin'
gifts from my pups was more than fine considerin' the circumstances.
Dawn:
Thankfully, this year we got to make up for it big time. Our pups and
I brought my Puppy Love breakfast in bed.
Vernon: Y'all
really pulled out the stop with that one. That stack o' pancakes was
as big as Paige.
Dawn: *Giggles*
Well, it was two father's day breakfast's worth after all.
Vernon: Still,
I only got one stomach. *Chuckles* The me from a year weren't still
hungry fer the meal he missed.
Dawn: Later in
the day we ate at the Grazer's Green, And Allison, Edison and I gave
him his Father's Day gifts.
Vernon:
*Chuckles* Yep, I got a great MASA tie from Edison, and a fancy wolf
coffee mug from Alli, the 'traditional' Pa's Day gifts as my own Pa
warned me about.
Dawn: *Giggles*
Puppy, don't say that. You might discourage our pups.
Vernon: Hey, I
love those gifts! But my Pa did predict purty well what I'd be
gettin'. *Laughs* Only thing I didn't get was a new tool set.
Dawn: Well...I
hope my and Paige's present defied his predictions.
Vernon:
*Laughs* Ah yes, I love my new sheep bandanna. I'm keen on wearin' it
as much as I possibly can.
Dawn: Of
course, that was only part of my present. Thee other half
came...later...
Vernon: And so
did I. *Chuckles*
Dawn: Puppy!
Shush! *Blushes.
Vernon: What?
Ain't like we off handly mentioned doin' that a bunch o' times on
this thang. We're still young after all... Sides', what better way to
celebrate the six month anniversary of gettin' my plumbin' all
stopped up with a vasectomy then givin' it the ol' thorough 'stress
test' to make sure it's still holdin' in place.
Dawn:
*Giggling* *Intense Blushing*
Breaking the Fourth Wall
Misfit: I tend to come to this universe for the food. And as long as I cover up my feet I can generally pass for one of those...fox things in public.
Wednesday, July 29, 2020
Good Ol' Fashioned Hopp's Family Shotgun Wedding
Nick: Well, the odds of me putting a
bun in the bun's oven are extremely low.
Judy: Though not impossible!
Nick: Well, it isn't the kind of odds
I'd be taking if I was going to spend a day betting at the Oasis
Hotel and Casino that's for sure. As for whether ol' Mam' Hopp's would
wedge a shotgun between my shoulder blades over defying the laws of
nature...well...I don't want to stereotype but...
Judy: Oh no, he would. He absolutely
would. He's done it before, with seven or eight of my sisters.
Nick: Wait? What!? You're serious!?
Judy: Oh deadly serious. He's got a
special shotgun specifically for weddings. With a white wood polished
stock and everything.
Nick: I er...um....*Begins to sweat*
Mam', I better be more careful from here on out then. *Sighs* I'm
going to miss not using condoms.
Judy: What about those steep odds?
Nick: You said it yourself Carrots.
Steep, but not impossible. And knowing that Ol' Mam' Hopps
threatening to mount me in his study is on the table, I'd like to
keep those odds as low as I possibly can.
Judy: Well, if you want to obliterate
those odds altogether, putting a ring on this paw would spare you
two barrels aimed at the back from 'Ol' Mam Hopps'.
Nick: Ugh, not you too. I get enough
of this from my Mom as it is...
Horn Handling
Vernon: I'd have to defer to
the...horned members of my friend circle fer an answer to that
question.
Melanie: Well...as much fun as it
would be, it...isn't really feasible.
Gus: Yeah...I mean, one of my horns
used to be too fragile to handle with anything more than a medium degree of pressure.
Melanie: The doctors said there was a
very real risk of Gussy's bad horn splitting down to the root if it
experienced too much trauma.
Gus: Not that we...directly posed the question “What if my mate wants to grasp my horns while mating?”
Melanie: And now that it's been
replaced with the prosthetic, well...
Gus: There's a risk of uprooting it if
we aren't careful. I mean it's in there pretty good but...er...I'd be
foolish if I underestimated Melly's grip. At the very least, there's a chance of snapping the screw that holds the horn to the base.
Melanie: *Chuckles* You only have
yourself to blame for that cause you rut me so good.
Gus: Geeze Melly...*blushes intensely*
Samson: We...also can't do any...horn
holding during...
Delilah: I uh....well, y'all know how
it is. Bear strength and all that.
Samson: Even moose antlers would be
rendered as resilient as toothpicks when you've got a lovely lady
bear taking you for a ride.
Delilah: *Giggling*
SCPs and CreepyPastas
Gus: Passively. Some of them are
interesting, some of them less so.
Vernon: As a fan of weird Sci-Fi and
Paranormal horror like readin' material, them SCP case files can be a
real fun read.
Dawn: I think so to, and the fact that
a bunch of them are all compiled together while being written by
various authors gives the whole thing that sort of old Pulp Fiction
kind of vibe. Like reading and old “Weird Tails” magazine. It's
just a huge swath of a bunch of really cool concepts and
collaborations all wrapped up under one big banner.
Vernon: I think my personal favorite
has gotta be that one with the “Infinite Iflea”. A neat
combination of humor and a bit of an unnerving atmosphere.
Dawn: I always like that one with the
multi-colored stone? I forget the name exactly, but I remember
someone did a read of it, and it was like an hour long.
Vernon: The stone one? The one where
it would change color and open some weird portal to a paralelle
universe filled with brown goo and giant shadow monsters?
Dawn: That's the one! Oh, and another
good one is “The Hangmam's Tragedy”. The one with the obscure
play that when performed drives everyone within range of the
performance into a psychotic and violent rage.
Joel: Pft, SCP is old news...the only
good spooky content you get now is Creepy Pastas. And that's once in
a full moon these days.
Broomie: You hear about that recent
ARG one, where they are saying every copy of Mewrio 64 is
personalized?
Joel: Oh heck yeah, that's a great
one! I love supplementary visual stuff to convey a spooky story.
Granted the whole Wareowr Apparition thing kills it. I mean, the
mammals playing it wanted to see Wario so much he just appeared? Most
Cria's playing video games back in the day barely knew who Wareor
was. And they were too busy spreading rumors that Mewuigi was in the
game! If anything, Mewigi would be the character that showed up.
*Sigh* A stain on an otherwise pretty serviceable ARG.
Lily's Secrets (Found AU)
WT: This is a post related to Elite Shade’s BellHunterverse AU “Found”. Check it out on Fanfiction.net and Archive of our own.
-
Vernon: Welp...I mean...
Dawn: It has led to a few rather
embarrassing public exchanges, especially the...er...'cowboy'
incident...
Vernon: Yeah...Lily sorta caught us in
the middle of bein'...well...intimate one time.
Dawn: And of course, we couldn't
exactly hide everything quick enough...like the western clothing...I
mean, I was dressed as a saloon girl, it would have taken me a good
two to five minutes to get out of all those frills.
Vernon: I was dressed
in...considerably less...
Dawn: Just chaps and a cowboy hat.
*Giggles*
Vernon: So when she asked what we was
doin... me and Dawn just said 'we was playin' cowboy.”
Dawn: And Vernon told her to keep it
under her hat.
Vernon: An expression she didn't
exactly understand. So I guess it shouldn't have been all that
surprising when it came out at the last Hunter get together.
Dawn: We spent the rest of that trip
trying to live that down.
Vernon: Admittedly though, it does has
it perks.
Dawn: Mostly when Lily inadvertently
embarrasses someone else, like Yuri for example...
Vernon: Heh heh, yeah, we was visitin'
them up in Seaotter a few months back. We were takin' Trevor and
Alice to see a movie that Lily wasn't all that interested in.
Dawn: We didn't want to cause any
friction between the pups, so we elected to still see the film with
Trevor and Alice, but leave Lily with Ada to spend some time bonding
with her aunt and Uncle when he got back from work.
Vernon: O' course the messages had
already been sent out that'd us and the pups would be out fer part of
the day and I guess yuri figured that meant he and Ada could get in
some 'private time'. So...S-os- *Chuckling* Y-yuri he...*Shakes head*
I can't, Honey Lamb, y-you have t-o *Cackling*
Dawn: *Giggling* Apparently Yuri
rolled into the apartment on roller skates, in rainbow suspenders.
*Laughing* Apparently he was trying to do a sort of...' disco hunk'
thing. Of course, much to his chagrin, he quickly found out Lily was
there, and everyone was laughin'....well everyone but him.
Vernon: *Chuckling* Now, despite
Yuri's best efforts and showerin' her with gifts, he still hasn't
been able to keep her from bringin' it up now and again. *Laughs* The
best part is watchin' him struggle to keep his composure outta fear
of losin' his 'favorite uncle' status with her. *Chuckles* Certainly
managed to put an end to Yuri bringin' up Me and Dawn's 'Cowboy
time'.
Dawn: I only wish Ada took photos. *Giggling*
Ulric and Honey's 'Humon' Analysis (Found AU)
WT: This is a post related to Elite
Shade’s BellHunterverse AU “Found”. Check it out on
Fanfiction.net and Archive of our own.
-
Honey: Well, if you want my take-
Ulric: The wrong take.
Honey: *Chuckles* Hey my take is the
end result of doing a bunch of research, looking through
archaeological and paleontological records and scouring ancient
folklore from across Animalia to try to pinpoint a proper origin
point for the species! Whereas your 'take' is almost nothing but
baseless conjecture!
Ulric: *Huffs* Baseless conjecture.
Surely when you were looking at some of that ancient folklore and
depictions of these 'humons', you saw the depictions of those
'unknown crafts'? And what about all the sheep turning up in the same
passages as these humons?
Honey: First off, those 'crafts' are
hieroglyphic separators. Second-
Ulric: That's just what 'they' want
you to think!
Honey: *Sigh* Let me just state my
case, alright?
Ulric: Fine.
Honey: Based on everything I could
scrounge up, to me it looks like these 'humon's' were a species that
preceded the “mammalian explosion' during the previous ice age.
From what I can gather, I believe they split from the great ape
family and evolved much more slowly than mammals did. This of
course, would make them rather easy pickings during the 'great
mammalian explosion', as out more intelligent ancestors presumably
hunted and chased a great many of them out of their habitats as they
expanded and eventually drove them into hiding. Of course, since this
preceded written language for most species of mammal, accounts of the
humons quickly faded into little more than folklore without mammals
to see them first pawed. A cryptid up there with the likes of the
Loch Neighs Monster and CatSquatch. Any rare sighting post that time
was relegated to hoaxes and fairy tales. Of course, how they managed
to eke out a semi-modern existence in terms of cultural development
without ever revealing themselves still has me scratching my head. I
mean, how did they manage to hide their cities for so long?
Ulric: If I may?
Honey: You're going to say it anyway,
so...
Ulric: First off, the 'humons' are not
related to the great apes. I mean, look at Marcus and Lilly! You can
see the sheepish bone structure, and their hide is the exact same
pink tint that most sheep's are under their wool!
Honey: I really don't see the bone
structure thing. And I mean, lots of mammal's have pink hides under
their fur. What exactly are you getting at?
Ulric: 'Humons' we're clearly created
in a lab by sheep, using a portion of their DNA as the base and
combining it with several other species to create some sort
of...' super mammal' foot soldier, ordered to lie in wait until the
time is right to strike and help them finally take of all of
Animalia!
Honey: Are you sure that's what
happened, and not a nightmare you had?
Ulric: If they can hide their cities,
they must have hyper-advanced technology! And the fact that they
could hide themselves for this long among us I mean, who's to say the
'sheep overlords' aren't hiding in a moon city!? HA! I used to get
laughed at for that one! But not so funny now is it!?
Honey: While I'll admit I'm not sure
how they've managed to stay hidden for so long...I mean, that boat
Marcus came in was about as advanced as stuff from the early last
century. And based on his descriptions...I mean it seems like they
are behind us by a good century in terms of technology. I really
can't imagine them being a real threat to us. If they tried anything
now, it would just be the first Zootopian's versus the native wolves
all over again.
Ulric: Well if Dad and my brother
would let me actually investigate that boat I could find the cloaking
mechanism that is clearly hiding its true form! Then we could
actually start reverse engineering and preparing for the coming war!
Honey: *Shakes her head, planting a
soft kiss on Ulric's forehead that causes the wolf to recoil.* Oh, my
sweet Ully, You are lucky you are so cute...*coughs* and hung...
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