Ask Melly; Life with her Parents

 

Melanie: It really wasn't the best...honestly it was pretty miserable. My parents were all about maintaining an image. And I was...well, an extension of that image. At least, that seemed to matter more to them than loving me just for being their kid.

Melanie: In that way, me and Dawn are a lot alike. Not that I was physically abused like Dawn was. But we were both subjected to unrealistic expectations and emotional manipulation from a very early age. I had to succeed at every extracurricular activity they forced me to take up just to earn the tiniest scraps of feigned affection from them. Actually, I remember every time my Mother actually gave me a hug...I'd just start bawling. They meant the world to me as a kid. Only now as an adult, I realized just how stiff and emotionless those hugs were. They much preferred buying stuff to fill the role of an emotional connection, rather than...facilitate an actual emotional connection. I suppose if there's a silver lining, it made it way easier to connect with Dawn and fast-tracked us to being best friends pretty quickly.

Melanie: When I was approaching puberty, everything just kept building up. More and more responsibility was heaped on me, with less and less of an emotional reward given to me for my hard work. The older I got, the more my parents expected me to excel for the sake of excelling. And it all came to a head during my...*Cringes* Ballet recital. *Shakes head* I was performing my heart out when I made a simple misstep, and twisted my ankle, dropping to the ground center stage for all to see. I knew, I knew in that moment, that I had failed my parents. I wasn't 'perfect', and I embarrassed the family. I didn't know-I couldn't know that I needed parents who could tell me that it was 'Okay' to not be perfect. That nobody was perfect. In that instant, while the audience remained dead quiet, everything in my mind just mounted, and I...I broke. I wept and sobbed hysterically until a stagehoof could help me off stage...The only coherent thing I could get out through my sobs was how sorry I was.

Melanie: It was the worst and happiest day of my life. Worst because of the scene I made at the recital. But also the best because my Doctor told my parents in no uncertain terms, I could no longer perform ballet. He also told my parents that they were required to put me in therapy or he would report them to child services. *Chuckles dully* My parents figured while it marred the image of their daughter as 'broken' to seek therapy, something they said in front of me many times, therapy stood to fix me. What they didn't count on was my therapist becoming the parent I needed. Asking me 'what I wanted to do?', and telling me that 'I didn't need to be perfect, and no mammal was.' 

Melanie: So I began to rebel, I got more and more ornery. My parents eventually cut the therapy believing it to be the source of my rebellion, which wasn't entirely untrue, but I kept seeing my therapist out of the office until I was old enough that my parents couldn't stop me. Not many therapists would do that, but Mrs Suricatta really cared about me...I don't go to therapy anymore, but we still keep in touch, and I'll always see that meerkat as being like a mother to me. Well, she and my Aunt. My life with my parents ended in college, where I jumped at the chance to dorm. Though my schooling for a degree like genetic research was completely covered by the City thanks to it being deemed as a practical degree, my grades got me a full scholarship for my dorm, general survival, and resources so I could focus on my degree full time. But a degree of that caliber takes longer than most to earn. Still, once I got out of that house, I rarely ever went back.

Melanie: In college, I eventually met my Gussy-Wussy when he enrolled and well...the rest is history. *Giggles* And aside from his sleep equipment making so much noise it made Vernon want to jump out a window when he lived with Gus, I've been happy ever since we met and moved in together.

Gus: To be fair, it helps that you sleep like a rock. *Laughs*

Melanie: It's like white noise to me at this point. *Chuckles* I honestly think the super-reactor powering the heating and cooling systems in Zootopia could have a full-scale meltdown and I'd sleep right through it.

Ask Myra; Favorite Stunts or Performances?

 

Myra: Oh, I don't have too many stunts under my belt...to be honest, most of my favorite things in smut are working in comedic bits, or doing purposely bad acting.

Vanna: *Flashes her sister a skeptical gaze* Purposely?

Zach: I always figured porn actors were...just bad at actin'

Myra: *Snickers* I'm not saying they aren't, and I'm not trying to toot my own horn either...*Bob's head slightly, rolling her eyes as if mulling something over.* Though a horn does tie into the pawful of stunts in my repertoire.  

Vanna: *Squeezes the bridge of her snout, sighing a small sigh of annoyance.* Try to keep it tame, remember our agreement...

Myra: No, but I love porn memes. I mean, a bunch of us in the industry do, but by the gods, there are so many out-of-context clips I've seen that just made me bust a gut laughing. From the infamous 'What are you doin' stepbro'? To 'Oh sheep, I'm sorry.'.." *Smirks* At this point, my fondest dream is to get a meme to go viral from one of my line deliveries. I'd even trade in my Golden Cookie award, and my two 'Steamies' if it meant I could get a viral porn meme going. And it's part of the reason why I love to be in parodies cause the atmosphere makes it all the more cheesy and fun.

Zach: Well, y'all can't force a meme. *Chuckles* The best ones seem to come outta nowhere, and organically fer that matter...even 'iffin I can't understand it fer the life of me...

Vernon: I still have no idea what 'Schway' means...*Chuckles* Allision keeps sayin' I ain't 'Schway'...I'm just gonna assume it means cool, which means I ain't cool...*Huffs* Seems about right fer a teen to say to her Pa...'sides, ain't like I've ever been cool before...so I don't mind not bein' cool now. *Snickers*

Dawn: I happen to think you're very cool Puppy...

*Vernon pulls his mate into a gentle side hug.*

Vernon: Aw thank ya Lamb fry...*Kisses the top of her poof* I think yer purty cool too...

Vanna: I'm just glad you didn't get that support role in that...*Shudders, looking visibly disgusted.* Parody of Dawn's book.

Myra: *Giggles* Not for lack of trying! *Shakes Head* I would have killed to be the secretary that gets pulled into a three-way halfway through the movie, even if my limit is light bondage, and that one was pretty hardcore by comparison. Would have been worth it to get a shot to work alongside a legend like Wooly, and well...I mean the memes right themselves!

Vernon: *Let's out a soft whine, his muzzle now downcast* 

Vanna: Still, while I know I can be....err...*Winces* Judgemental of your profession at times, I usually don't say anything about the projects you take on. But in this case, I don't think Dawn or Vernon would have been able to live down having someone who's technically a relative of theirs perform in a porn parody of a biography of their lives.

Vernon: *Places his head in his paws.* It's bad enough that it exists as it is...*whines softly* But also folks take it as some sorta realistic tellin' of what goes in the privacy of mine and my Honeylamb's bedroom.

*Dawn hugs Vernon's leg, stroking his thigh reassuringly.* 

Dawn: There, there Puppy...I'm not...*Winces* Pleased about it either, but that's just what happens with popular media, it's a consequence of having a lot of eyes on a story...

Myra: And her office...and a Laundromat for some reason...*Shakes head* I swear, why set a scene at a laundromat if you aren't going to pull a 'What are you doin' stepbro' gag? *Giggles*

*Vernon Groans* 

Vanna: *Rolls her eyes* Myra please, reign it in...

Vernon: Still, I think the worst thang is they portray me like I'm some sorta rural wolf stereotype with barely two brain cells to rub together'!

Zach: Well, that ain't too far off...*Snickers*

*Vanna sharply nudges her mate in the ribs.*

Zach: OOF! *Winces before glaring up at his mate as he rubs his ribs.* It was just a joke Kitten.

Vanna: A Yuri joke...

Myra: As for the second part of your question, if it isn't obvious I'd really love to work with Wooly at some point. I've been with a ram or two, but a ewe is on my hit list for sure. Though I've mostly preferred to work with wolves. *Snickers* So my sister and I aren't that different in that regard...

Vanna: *Blushing* M-Myra!

Myra: I've actually worked with Wilfred in three different movies before. He's totally sweet, and unlike his 'character' in Predator Penetrating Prey, he's very smart and well-spoken. 

Vernon: *Vernon crosses his arms, letting out a scoff* And yet the fella didn't have the self-respect to turn down a roll that leans inta every wolf stereotype imaginable.

Myra: *Myra flicks a dismissive paw in Vernon's direction, letting out a laugh.* Oh Vernon, Wilfred doesn't get hung up on stuff like that, he just found it funny. He doesn't take himself or his species seriously as, like me, he doesn't see himself as the chief representative of his species or his family. *Her eyes flick over to Vanna, the tigress frowning slightly with a trace of guilt lacing her features.* Of course, If he knew his family felt so much like they weren't being listened to rather than being prudish, maybe he'd be trying to...work on things.

Vanna: *Offers Myra a small, cautious smile* Thank you Myra...*The lumbering tigress rubbed the back of her neck uneasily as a blush tinges her muzzle.* And...I'm sorry you didn't get that part...

*Myra immediately perks up, clutching her fists as a look of sharp determination overtook her features* Yeah, me too! *She laughs.* Seriously, to even be in the same shot as Wilfred saying *Myra scrunches up her muzzle, putting her paws on her hips as she slips into the worst southern drawl she can possibly muster.* "Wait just a gosh dern minute now, this here ain't paperwork, thissin' here is ewe pu#@$!"

*Vernon groans, slapping a paw to his muzzle in an attempt to hide the bright red flush on his muzzle as Dawn continues to console him.* 

Myra: But at least I've nailed a role in the sequel, "A Lamb with Hung Wolves!"

*Vernon and Dawn share a shocked and horrified expression.*

Vernon: A sequel!? *Vernon whines loudly.*

*Vanna and Zach exchange uncomfortable glances.*

Dawn: Y-You can't be serious! The first one did that well?

Myra: *Nods* It's porn of a popular franchise little lamb, it doesn't even have to do all that well to get a sequel because the overhead is so cheap. *Myra rolled her eyes slightly, rolling a wrist.* Though, Predator Penetrating Prey did gang busters...

*Dawn joins Vernon in letting out a mournful groan, as she slumps into his side.*

Vanna: W-wait, why would the cast you in that? It sounds like a wolf-only movie.

Myra: *Holds up a finger toward Vanna.* Well yeah, the Hunter brothers sure, but I mean the director wanted to work the sister-in-laws in. He was especially moved by that part in Predator Seeking Prey about you and Dawn bonding in the bedroom singing Karaoke, and wanted to uh...make it a bit more..intimate...And, I'll admit, I may have...shamelessly used the fact that I'm your sister to...er...land your part...

*Vanna furrows her brow, looking visibly irritated.*

Vanna: Are you actually serious!? Really!? *Vanna pinches the bridge of her snout, letting out a huff* You were LITERALLY just say-!

*Myra holds up her paws defensively*

Myra: Look, look I know it sounds bad! But it's not like they were going to cut that segment! *Myra offers her sister a nervous smile* Isn't it better to have your sister helm the role over some stranger?!

*Vernon lets out a mournful howl, drawing both the felines attention to him. Zach has now joined Dawn in holding his collapsed, howling brother, doing his best to comfort the pair.*

Zach: There there little brother...*Shakes head* We're all in this one together this time...we'll get through this...

*Vernon continues to wail, other howls joining in as Vanna corsses her arms and glares at the shrinking Myra*

Myra: L-look, I promise I'll... bite my tongue and try to take this role seriously...

*Vernon's howling suddenly gets louder, causing both sisters to wince, shrinking into their shoulders.*

Myra: Look, it could be worse okay! I could have been cast as Misses Hunter for the scene where Dawn and Vernon make up for breaking the house rule by having a three-way in the-.

*Vanna grabs Myra's lips with her fingers, forcing them shut.Vernon's Howls and sobs reaching a painful decibel even for the felines.*

Vanna: STOP TALKING!

Ask Dawn and Vern; The Norwulff Split

 

Vernon: Well, it ain't as obvious anymore really. These days, the names are more of a formality for a country that's united on purty much every issue imaginable. Though back in the day, the leadership of both countries were at odds more often than not.

Dawn: Especially when it came to relations with Scottram and Irelamb. Lesser Norwulff especially wasn't keen on having Scottramish and other caprine transplants so close to their borders.

Vernon: Lesser Norwulff was, historically, considerably more of a species-supremacist country. Whereas those in Norwulff had been buildin' 'unconventional' packs fer centuries based on how loyal and reliable them non-wolves proved themselves to be. Lesser Norwulff was strictly a 'wolves' only pack structure. They reluctantly welcomed non-wolf predators into their society as second-class citizens and prey mammals weren't allowed in at all.

Dawn: That's why, even with Erik's royal status aside, his tithe to a sheep would still have been accepted by the populace in general should it have gone public. Granted, it would have been easier to swallow if said sheep wasn't royalty herself. But Ancient Norwulff had by that point seen a fair share of interspecies tithes. Not that they were rampant of course, but there was long since a precedent set. Hel, Erik wasn't even the first Duclaw to pursue sheep mates.

Vernon: *Blushes, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly* Yeah, and Erik wasn't the last either, current couple excluded I mean. *Vernon grins sheepishly* Seems like the Hunter bloodline gets a cravin' for mutton every other generation er' so...But in the case o' what my Honey Lamb is talkin' about, she means my ancient...well...ancestor ain't the right term I think...is it? Y'all have to have pups fer that...

Dawn: There's really no other term to use. He may have been infertile, but he was a Duclaw.

Vernon: Right, anyway...there was a Duclaw that lived about four hundred years before Erik. Back durin' one of our families 'high skirmish' eras against the Scottramish. I'm talkin' back when Norwulff would take and occupy territory in Scottram fer ten ta fifteen years at a time before bein' forced out again. Fenrir Duclaw, yep, named after the god, was one o' seven pups in the royal family. 

Dawn: Just like you...*Snickers*

Vernon: Well, I ain't a royal by any means other than blood. *Shakes head* Anyway, he was a proud warrior, and preferred to be on the front lines rather than in the royal court. The thing about Fenrir was that he was infertile. He suffered an injury while sparing as a pup that...er...well let's just say it...scrambled his eggs permanently...

*Dawn and Vern share a wince*

Vernon: That said, I think that's what ended up kinda drivin' his 'fightin' spirit', always feelin' like a lesser wolf. His brothers tore at him for it, and despite his status as a bein' a royal, as well as his increasin' number of accolades, he was passed over by all the eligible shewolves at every opportunity.

Dawn: Fed up with his lot in life he...well, he spurned the gods and decided to actively buck Norwulff morality when the opportunity arose just to spite them. It was revenge for them dealing him such a bad paw, at least in his eyes.

Vernon: And one o' the ways he chose to do that was to take a new sheep mate with every successful occupation o' Scottram territory. 

Dawn: Not to say he....got rid of the old ones...he just...decided to take a page from the book of the ancient lion prides. 

Vernon: *Shakes head* At the height o' thangs, he had five sheep wives. And as much of his family disapproved, there was little they could do to scold him because he remained such an effective warrior.

Dawn: I will point out though, that every time he and his armies were ousted from Scottram, and his mates had the opportunity to escape, they always returned with him to Norwulff. Even the families of the stolen lambs didn't hate him, as having such a tie to Fenrir allowed their family favor to keep operating in the occupied territory. And it made them even more wealthy than when they were operating in the former Scottramish system.

Vernon: The story has a bit of a happy ending dependin' on how ya look at it. Fenrir's last wife, once she was settled in, was an expert at readin' folks...at figurin' out how to get to a fella's soft yellow underbelly. Both her and Fenrir's personal journals corroborate how much of a 'therapist' she seemed to be...even if the job didn't exist yet. She helped Fenrir face his insecurities, and his anger at his circumstance, and come to terms with the wolf he was, and the wolf he wanted to be.

Dawn: Upon being ousted again, and returning to Norwulff, Fenrir decided to return to the old ways. He gave his mates the opportunity to return to Scottram, or live within the protection of his family name while being allowed to pursue proper mates. All of them preferred the latter. 

Vernon: Fenrir would renew his tithe his second mate Kathrine Lambaher, his most beloved, and his other sheep mates would be free to tithe whoever they wanted in the Norwulff community. Three o' four married other wolves, and the last married a goat who sat in the family's high court. However, they would always remain close to Fenrir, even if it was strictly platonic.

Dawn: It's an interesting little footnote in the Duclaw history and one that was barely talked about until the whole...Moira Blackwool thing came out thanks to Ulric. Of course, it's far from the only instance of Wolf and Sheep relations in Vernon's family lineage as we've found out since then. Not to mention it's not the only unconventional one. One of my favorites is the story of Sheriff Rowan Clawter who lived in the old west. Never tithed, but frequented a saloon run by a very enterprising sheep lass named Maureen Sheepard. *Chuckles* it's believed the sheriff had taken to bankrolling her saloon just to keep Maureen from ever having to resort to prostituting herself like the rest of the girls who worked under her. According to Maureen's diaries, Rowan made it very clear that Maureen was 'his', and that was, apparently, just how she liked it...*Giggles*

Vernon: That's where that fella writin' that there magic western novel got his names fer Rowan and Dolly from...sorta...*Shakes head* Mam', we've really gone off track haven't we?

Dawn: Oh my yes, w-what was the question again?

Vernon: About Greater and lesser Norwulff bein' separate countries? Which...I guess I already said...they are still technically, but it's one o' them formalities...

Dawn: Yes....though that tangent made me realize it might be worth writing a book on the many 'unconventional' affairs that riddle the Duclaw lineage. At the rate they're piling up, I could write something as thick as a dictionary. *Snickers*

Ask Gus and Melly; Mewrio and Smash Burrow Characters

 

Melanie: Daisy in pretty much any Mewrio game you can play her in. Zero Suit Samoose up until they brought Daisy in as more than just a Peach Palette swap. Also Jigglypuff and Ganonhorse.

Gus: I usually play the Werio brothers in any of the Mewrio titles I can play him in. Sometimes Donkey Kong. And in Smash I tend to main Star Fox...or Falco...or Wolf...

Melanie: Ugh, with no items, on final destination every time or you whine...

Gus: *Is clearly flustered* H-Hey! Cut me some slack...it's like, the one fighting game I'm good at, so I take it more seriously! *Scoffs* Like you have room to judge me!

Melanie: Smash Burrows is designed not to be taken seriously! *Laughs* It's not King of Fighters or Marvole Versus Catcom, it's meant to be goofy and lighthearted...

Gus: If that was the case you wouldn't be able to shut items off! And hey, they added that whole 'omega mode' that gets rid of stage gimmicks for a reason!

Melanie: All I'm saying is if you take it so seriously, maybe you should take it to an official tourney rather than take it out on the rest of us! *Laughs* Unlike me, the only thing keeping you out of those tourneys is lack of confidence!

Vernon: What's keepin' ya'll out of 'em?

Melanie: The stench...Seriously, I don't know what it is with Pro-smash Burrows players and finding the concept of personal hygiene entirely foreign to them. *Melanie visibly cringes* Gah, the last time Gus hosted a tourney here I couldn't even come downstairs, let alone anywhere near the game room. *Shakes head* There was this one skunk player, I sweat by Cervidwen's hooves, his stink gland must have not only been intact but hanging out into the seat of his pants like a hemorrhoid. *Melanie retches*

Gus: Yeah that..I had to ask half the players to leave...and it took three days to air out the back room. Still...I only really want to play with my friends...not professionally.

Melanie: Then stop forcing us to make it professional.

Joel: *Snorts* He just wants to be the big fish in the small pond. He revels in holding the victories over us...same thing with Humon's battles...he always took it so seriously.

Gus: I just played with my favorites!

Joel: And was it a coincidence that your favorite Humons always were the ones with the best in game stats, with perfect EV/IVs and nature combos? 

Gus: Y-Yes! I Ju-!

Joel: You even stopped liking certain Humons the moment they'd get nerfed...

Gus: I swear on Cervidwen's Hooves-Look, it's just a coincidence!

Vernon: Now y'all know why I started refusin' to play with him unless it was co-op when we was teens...*Snickers* Turns out you and Melly ain't too different after all...

Gus: *Crosses arms, letting out a huff* Okay, but when I lose a game, at least I don't yank the fight stick out of the cabinet, and try to bludgeon Kodi's Sister with it! 

Melanie: *Narrows gaze, looking miffed, although slightly hurt.* Hey! I told her not to keep picking Big Lamb! He's a Boss character! It's not fair! *Snorts* That was a cheap shot...

Gus: Replacing the arcade cabinet's fight stick wasn't cheap, that's for sure!