Ask the Ruminerds; Royal Blue the Two.

 Melly: I love and hate the second installment.

Dawn: Hate? I happened to think the story was really good. I loved the transition between the two time periods in the book. And the sort of ‘passing of the torch’ with some of the old characters to the new ones.

Gus: She likes that, she just hates that Garrett died…

*Melanie starts sniffling* Melanie: My perfect feathery little bean...*Sniffle* And he was still sort of on the outs with Rowan when he died…

Vernon: I mean, Rowan died too...and Dolly…

Dawn: I mean, it is sad, but aside from that business with Garett and his book, most of the old hooves from the first book led happy lives. It’s probably the best you could hope for…

Broomie: Don’t forget the Warrowick Ripper…

Melly: Sweet Cervidwen’s Hooves...I’m glad the author left a good chunk of the nitty gritty details of his crimes out, but the parts he did write...*Melly shudders, rubbing her upper arms.* What a vile shoat he was…I felt so terrified and then horrified for his victims.

Dawn: I felt terrible for Rowan and Dolly too…especially Rowan, considering…

Joel: It was bad ass I’ll give it that. Rowan’s last bounty, his own firstborn son! That duel in the mine? He didn’t even let him monologue...I did not see that coming!

Talia: Creatures like Elijah are empty and cold. You cannot hesitate, not even for second. He is true predator, in the darkest sense of term. Rowan did what had to be done.

Megumi: It really ended up setting the tone for the noir-style cases in the latter half of the book. OH EM GOODNESS! Can we talk about how adorable Lucius and Elanor are!? Canon and my OTP in one shot!

Talia: Am I strange one for thinking Lucius should be with Talia?

Megumi: Pft...there’s a crack ship…

Gus: And we’ve devolved to shipping. Sweet Sawgrass, what’s the point in shipping? Lucius and Elanor marry at the end of th-

Megumi: GUS! DAMARE BAKA! SPOILERS!

Gus: I’m just saying I don’t see the point of shipping against established couples.

Broomie: AU’s are a thing Gus…

Kodi: Am I the only one who felt like Paul Ryder was...basically just Colt again?

Dawn: THANK YOU! *Gestures to Kodi* See, someone agrees with me!

Vernon: Paul is fine...he feels different enough…

Cameron: At least the Ryder family still has a presence in the series...it feels weird there isn’t an Odran descendant...*holds paws up defensively* Not that I loved the character, mind you...My favorite was actually Irene and Aleksey in this book...They remind me of...well... never mind...

Melly: I think the author got my feedback on that one. *Snickers* But if I’m being serious, it was nice that this book both passed the torch while making room for new characters. It’s a little something for everyone. Plus, you can more or less pick up this book without having read the first one...which is novel.

Vernon: Gives you just enough about what happened before without totally retreadin’ it.

Dawn: It gently encourages but doesn’t demand that new readers read the first installment.

Broomie: I’m eager for the last in the trilogy. The one set in like the eighties...Love me that eighties nostalgia.

Dawn: I’m just glad he didn’t start in the eighties era, since Granger Things came out, everyone’s been doing the ‘set in the eighties’ thing...it’s getting a bit…stale.

Gus: It never gets old for me...the cradle days of B&B…

Cameron: I lived it...well some of it...I wasn’t really conscious of the era till it was more than half over. *Chuckles* But for what I was aware of, it was pretty great.

Vernon: I think we can all purty much agree Royal Blue two was a solid entry...about as good as the first one...Though I am more partial to the western settin’…

Dawn: I think it was better...now all the author needs to do is nail the last installment, and I’m sure it’ll be a classic series!

Gus: At the rate his contemporaries are working on their own trilogies, if he just puts the book out at all, he’ll win by default. *Laughs*

20 Years Later; Ask Melly, Vanna and Elizabeth; Mystic Springs

 

Vanna: Are you kidding!? Absolutely not! I wouldn’t have been caught dead at the Mystic Springs twenty years ago, let alone now. Sorry, but the only mammals I’m comfortable letting see me in nothing but my bare pelt are Zach and my Doctor...I’m not even fully comfortable looking at myself.

Melly: Huh, funny. I find I’ve only gotten more shameless with age. *Chuckles* Or I guess, I give less of a rut about who sees me nude. I think having four kids, three of them being triplets kinda does that to you. My bod’s busted, my boobs are sagging a bit, but Gus’ still loves it. *Laughs*

Vanna: I envy your self-confidence.

Elizabeth: Uncle Zach doesn’t still love your body, then?

Vanna: Oh, of course he does. *Blushes softly* He’s made that very clear...I’ve just...I’m not my sister...I’ve never been all that comfortable in my own fur...My Goofball is the only one who’s ever made me feel...pretty in the nude. *Blush intensifies*

Elizabeth and Mellie: Aww…

Elizabeth: Omari and I aren’t really...naturalist types either...Like my Aunt, my self-image is a...very personal matter. I’d prefer to keep the public visibility of my burn scars to a minimum if I can. That’s not to say we don’t do recreation and exercise, I’m not as...crippled by agoraphobia as I was when I was little. I just prefer more private, clothed massages at the Crystail Aurora massage parlor in Tundra town...unless it’s a private massage from Omi at home...*Blushes slightly.*

Melly: *Chuckles* Spicy. Granted, Gus and I aren’t without our fun...but these days, just a deep, not erotic in the slightest foot massage does more for me than any ‘foreplay’ massages. *Snickers*

Elizabeth: As for exercise, me and Omari go to our local Planet Furness about once a week. We want to go more, but it’s...scheduling is tough. Omari’s on call a lot, and the orchestra demands a great deal of practice on top of multiple shows a week.

Vanna: Like mother, like son, it seems with Omari...*Chuckles* Makes me glad I got off the ZPD when I did. I’ve been working the North Meadowlands’ for nearly twenty-five years now, and been the sheriff for sixteen, and in all that time it’s still proven to be a less demanding, less stressful job than being a beat cop in the inner city.

Melly: Plus a job like that keeps you moving and flexible.

Vanna: Well, Zach and I have had a home gym for years, so we have both our bases covered.

Melly: Same here, plus we’re both doing Yoga now...even if Gussie’s about as flexible as a plank of wood..*Snickers*

Elizabeth: *Giggles* Puppy steps...it’s a start, right?

Ask Melly; Life with her Parents

 

Melanie: It really wasn't the best...honestly it was pretty miserable. My parents were all about maintaining an image. And I was...well, an extension of that image. At least, that seemed to matter more to them than loving me just for being their kid.

Melanie: In that way, me and Dawn are a lot alike. Not that I was physically abused like Dawn was. But we were both subjected to unrealistic expectations and emotional manipulation from a very early age. I had to succeed at every extracurricular activity they forced me to take up just to earn the tiniest scraps of feigned affection from them. Actually, I remember every time my Mother actually gave me a hug...I'd just start bawling. They meant the world to me as a kid. Only now as an adult, I realized just how stiff and emotionless those hugs were. They much preferred buying stuff to fill the role of an emotional connection, rather than...facilitate an actual emotional connection. I suppose if there's a silver lining, it made it way easier to connect with Dawn and fast-tracked us to being best friends pretty quickly.

Melanie: When I was approaching puberty, everything just kept building up. More and more responsibility was heaped on me, with less and less of an emotional reward given to me for my hard work. The older I got, the more my parents expected me to excel for the sake of excelling. And it all came to a head during my...*Cringes* Ballet recital. *Shakes head* I was performing my heart out when I made a simple misstep, and twisted my ankle, dropping to the ground center stage for all to see. I knew, I knew in that moment, that I had failed my parents. I wasn't 'perfect', and I embarrassed the family. I didn't know-I couldn't know that I needed parents who could tell me that it was 'Okay' to not be perfect. That nobody was perfect. In that instant, while the audience remained dead quiet, everything in my mind just mounted, and I...I broke. I wept and sobbed hysterically until a stagehoof could help me off stage...The only coherent thing I could get out through my sobs was how sorry I was.

Melanie: It was the worst and happiest day of my life. Worst because of the scene I made at the recital. But also the best because my Doctor told my parents in no uncertain terms, I could no longer perform ballet. He also told my parents that they were required to put me in therapy or he would report them to child services. *Chuckles dully* My parents figured while it marred the image of their daughter as 'broken' to seek therapy, something they said in front of me many times, therapy stood to fix me. What they didn't count on was my therapist becoming the parent I needed. Asking me 'what I wanted to do?', and telling me that 'I didn't need to be perfect, and no mammal was.' 

Melanie: So I began to rebel, I got more and more ornery. My parents eventually cut the therapy believing it to be the source of my rebellion, which wasn't entirely untrue, but I kept seeing my therapist out of the office until I was old enough that my parents couldn't stop me. Not many therapists would do that, but Mrs Suricatta really cared about me...I don't go to therapy anymore, but we still keep in touch, and I'll always see that meerkat as being like a mother to me. Well, she and my Aunt. My life with my parents ended in college, where I jumped at the chance to dorm. Though my schooling for a degree like genetic research was completely covered by the City thanks to it being deemed as a practical degree, my grades got me a full scholarship for my dorm, general survival, and resources so I could focus on my degree full time. But a degree of that caliber takes longer than most to earn. Still, once I got out of that house, I rarely ever went back.

Melanie: In college, I eventually met my Gussy-Wussy when he enrolled and well...the rest is history. *Giggles* And aside from his sleep equipment making so much noise it made Vernon want to jump out a window when he lived with Gus, I've been happy ever since we met and moved in together.

Gus: To be fair, it helps that you sleep like a rock. *Laughs*

Melanie: It's like white noise to me at this point. *Chuckles* I honestly think the super-reactor powering the heating and cooling systems in Zootopia could have a full-scale meltdown and I'd sleep right through it.

Ask Gus and Melly; Mewrio and Smash Burrow Characters

 

Melanie: Daisy in pretty much any Mewrio game you can play her in. Zero Suit Samoose up until they brought Daisy in as more than just a Peach Palette swap. Also Jigglypuff and Ganonhorse.

Gus: I usually play the Werio brothers in any of the Mewrio titles I can play him in. Sometimes Donkey Kong. And in Smash I tend to main Star Fox...or Falco...or Wolf...

Melanie: Ugh, with no items, on final destination every time or you whine...

Gus: *Is clearly flustered* H-Hey! Cut me some slack...it's like, the one fighting game I'm good at, so I take it more seriously! *Scoffs* Like you have room to judge me!

Melanie: Smash Burrows is designed not to be taken seriously! *Laughs* It's not King of Fighters or Marvole Versus Catcom, it's meant to be goofy and lighthearted...

Gus: If that was the case you wouldn't be able to shut items off! And hey, they added that whole 'omega mode' that gets rid of stage gimmicks for a reason!

Melanie: All I'm saying is if you take it so seriously, maybe you should take it to an official tourney rather than take it out on the rest of us! *Laughs* Unlike me, the only thing keeping you out of those tourneys is lack of confidence!

Vernon: What's keepin' ya'll out of 'em?

Melanie: The stench...Seriously, I don't know what it is with Pro-smash Burrows players and finding the concept of personal hygiene entirely foreign to them. *Melanie visibly cringes* Gah, the last time Gus hosted a tourney here I couldn't even come downstairs, let alone anywhere near the game room. *Shakes head* There was this one skunk player, I sweat by Cervidwen's hooves, his stink gland must have not only been intact but hanging out into the seat of his pants like a hemorrhoid. *Melanie retches*

Gus: Yeah that..I had to ask half the players to leave...and it took three days to air out the back room. Still...I only really want to play with my friends...not professionally.

Melanie: Then stop forcing us to make it professional.

Joel: *Snorts* He just wants to be the big fish in the small pond. He revels in holding the victories over us...same thing with Humon's battles...he always took it so seriously.

Gus: I just played with my favorites!

Joel: And was it a coincidence that your favorite Humons always were the ones with the best in game stats, with perfect EV/IVs and nature combos? 

Gus: Y-Yes! I Ju-!

Joel: You even stopped liking certain Humons the moment they'd get nerfed...

Gus: I swear on Cervidwen's Hooves-Look, it's just a coincidence!

Vernon: Now y'all know why I started refusin' to play with him unless it was co-op when we was teens...*Snickers* Turns out you and Melly ain't too different after all...

Gus: *Crosses arms, letting out a huff* Okay, but when I lose a game, at least I don't yank the fight stick out of the cabinet, and try to bludgeon Kodi's Sister with it! 

Melanie: *Narrows gaze, looking miffed, although slightly hurt.* Hey! I told her not to keep picking Big Lamb! He's a Boss character! It's not fair! *Snorts* That was a cheap shot...

Gus: Replacing the arcade cabinet's fight stick wasn't cheap, that's for sure!

A triple Dose of Asks; The Ruminerd's and Kodi's Pups.

 

Question 1; The Last Wish

Vernon: The pups liked it...

Dawn: *Swats Vernon playfully* You teared up, don't lie...

Gus: I teared up. *Chuckles* It was a surprisingly moving kids movie all things considered. Better than I expected from anything related to Shrek at this point.

Melanie: It was- honestly I had totally written off that franchise off after part two. So I was surprised.

Vernon: I don't think it touched the Pups the same way though...I'm purty sure Edi kept rollin' his eyes to the point they was liable to roll right out of his head.*Shakes head*

Gus: Well you have to really go for the gut with little kids. Lest we forget movies like "The Land Before Time" or "A North Mammalian Tail"

*Vernon and Dawn visibly Cringe* 

Vernon: Oh gods, where Littlefoot's mother dies? *Shakes head* I was inconsolable fer weeks when I first saw that movie...

Dawn: The Cat attack scene in "North Mammlian Tail" is still embedded in my nightmares...*Shudders*

Melanie: *Rubs uppers arms, clearly uncomfortable* Gods, those movies... No wonder we're all so messed up...

Gus: Speak for yourself. Those movies proved we're made of sterner stuff than today's kids...We need to go back to those kinda kids movies, where the creator doesn't underestimate the emotional maturity alot of kids have...

Vernon: Really Gus?

Gus: What? When given the choice between those and the garbage they pump out for kids these days, which would you rather choose?

Vernon: *Winces* Alright...fair point...

Question 2; Lego Games

Gus: I've played Lego Star Wolves. Fun game series...oh, that and the Lego movie game.

Vernon: Nah, no interest. I preferred playin' with actual Lego's as a pup...

Gus: Not surprising coming from the architect. *Chuckles*

Melanie: *Shrugs* I liked the Lego movie game, but generally I can't get into 'Lego' games...

Dawn: Why is that?

Melanie: This is going to sound...*Shakes head* Really dumb and nitpicky, but like...*Sighs* It always really bugged me that only the characters and the stuff you could interact with were made of legos, but then the wider scene was just...like, not legos at all. The Lego movie and in-universe Lego games are the only ones I can think of that have the entire world made of Legos...

Vernon: Yer...right, that is purty nitpicky...

Melanie: IT BUGGED ME OKAY!? It's not consistent!

Gus: *Chuckles* Welcome to my world guys.

Melanie: It clashes! My brain can't rationalize it...

Vernon: It does beg the question as to why not just make the whole world in each game lego too though...I guess it's harder? *Shrugs*

Gus: More likely the devs are lazy and cheap...*Chuckles*

Dawn: my only experience with Lego games was the Lego Harry Otter games, and...I can't really complain. They were what I expected as a lamb. Funny and fun to play...*Is quiet for a moment*

Melanie: You're thinking about how in the Harry Otter Lego game, the world isn't Lego, but the characters and stuff are now aren't you? 

Dawn: *Shakes head* I am, and I hate that it's bothering me...

Melanie: And now you'll all be thinking it from now on. *Cackles maniacally* Welcome to MY world now!

Question 3 (20 Years Later) ; Marian and Melody's Dad

Melody: I love my Dad! He's awesome!

Marian: Pft...He's alright...

Ask Dawn and Vern; Settling the Godparents Issue

 

Vernon: Ah, well we finally settled that more 'er less...

Dawn: Basically we have our 'top two' Godparents sets that are...well both our active Godparents for the lambs.

Vernon: Gus and Mellie are one of 'em, and Zach and Vanna are the other...

Dawn: The reason being is that...should anything happen to us we...didn't want a situation to arise that maybe...*Shrugs* that it was bad timing?

Vernon: *Chuckles* Us dyin' before our time would be bad timin' no matter when it happen's Darlin', that's kinda what death is like...it don't wait fer things to be convenient.

Dawn: *Gets slightly flustered* Y-You know what I mean! I mean *Huffs* Say we pass away, and it's a really bad time for Gus and Melly to take on a trio of grieving lambs? Or it's a bad time for Vanna and Zach? *Wipes brow* We just, didn't want to end up a burden should...the worst occur.

Vernon: Plus it put the whole 'debate' to rest about who should hold the honor o' the title...so that was a relief...*Laughs*

Dawn: As for..."Gaming Godparents"? I don't...really get what that means? That Gus and Melly only lambsit the kids to game with them?

Vernon: *Chuckles* Cause they already do that, so there ain't really a need to change to title of it. I think Pupsitter does just fine and dandy...

Dawn: Usually Gus and Melly will watch them at the store while Vernon and I are busy...though if Vernon and I are going to have to stay anywhere longer than a night, we usually leave the lambs and Audrey and Dorian's for however long we need to.

Vernon: Not often iffin' we can help it. We usually prefer to try and take the pups along for any long-term thangs.

Dawn: Also, in terms of gaming...Edi and Paige are the only ones really interested in gaming, Allison is decidedly not...So really Gus and Melly can only be a gaming godparent to our youngest pups...though Mellie did get Allison into sewing. *Chuckles* Not full-on cosplay or anything, but making and mending her own clothes seems to really appeal to Alli...

Vernon: All them tears in her jeans have been slowly but surely dissapearin' since they started sewin' together...*Chuckles*

Tales From The BellHunterverse; Something Old; Something New

Summary: Set during the events of aLaW, this one-shot fic follows the end of Gus and Melly's night in the North Meadowland's shortly after the tithe and reception of Gus' dear friend Vernon Hunter to the controversial figure Dawn Bellwether. Well, Dawn Hunter-Bellwether now. It's been a crazy night, made all the more chaotic thanks to a drinking contest between Ada and Melanie ending with both mammals completely smashed. Now it's up to Gus to help his mate settle down for the night, which is never easy when it comes to a very drunk and ornery Melly. After all, they've got a life together to get back to early tomorrow morning, and Gus knows Melly's going to pay for this pissing contest. But as Melly resists Gus' attempts to calm her down and hydrate her, the vulnerable conversation from earlier in the evening is revisited, and it forces Gus to face some serious facts. Melly isn't the only one 'evading' things, and it's time for Gus to stop being indecisive and take a bold step forward for both their sakes. Story features sexual themes and lurid descriptions, but is mostly slice of life/drama/comedy fluff.

I gotta say, this was a struggle to write. Not for lack of inspiration or a proper outline. It was more a struggle against feeling like hot garbage during the bulk of the writing. I actually got new heart medicine just after finishing it that really helped me feel almost normal, but the work was done by then. That said, for all of the struggle, I think it turned out pretty well. It’s been a while since I added an entry to this series. I had the idea for the Gus and Melly fic a few months ago, and my desire to add something to this series pushed me to take a small break from tFV to add this in. Consider it...optional supplementary reading for one of the B-plots in the other fic. Plus you get some tender, heartwarming moments from my two resident goat nerds, and some added foibles from the Hunter pack members. For those on Fanfic (The Website) You know where to find my other stuff. Furaff, Etsy, Sofurry, A03, Patreon and Substar. I also recently added Newgrounds to my posting queue. And hey, I still have my ask blog, Askthebellhunters. It’s a com domain. I know Fanfic hates ‘URLs’, so I can’t just out an out post links. Expect more tFV and other fics in the future. Special thanks to my Editor KarakuriCentral! Your help is always appreciated!

Read the fic at any of the links below!

Fanfiction Link

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13350557/3/Tales-from-the-BellHunterVerse

Ao3 Link

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20036254/chapters/142917484

Furaffinity Link

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56808882/

Sofurry Link

https://www.sofurry.com/view/2140138

Ask Gus and Melly; Mountain Climbing?

 

Ask Gus and Melly; Scapegoats?

 

Gus: Considering the term was popularized by Mammals who used it as a form of 'transferring sin' to another mammal, yeah, I'd call it offensive.

Melanie: For those not in the know, Simbologists liked to use 'Scapegoats' to attach their 'sins' to, they would then kill the goat in question, and by their logic, the goat would go to the underworld carrying their sins with it. Therefore they would be cleansed of all sin thanks to ritualistically murdering a goat.

Gus: *Shakes head* Granted that practice died thousands of years ago, and the term is more or less just a generalized thing now so it's not...as offensive. But its origins are...*Shrugs* Why lions decided to pick goats for that purpose, I'll never know. But I think we can all agree at this point that old-world lions suck.

Melanie: A lot of modern-day lions suck too if we're being honest...*Chuckles* At the very least I'm sure Dawn would agree with me there. 

Ask the Ruminerds; Royal Blue Book 1

 

Broomie: I don't really go for westerns...

Gus: *Laughs* Then you aren't gonna like the next campaign I'm cooking up...as it's set in the Royal Blue universe...

Joel: *Tch!* Dude, can you at least wait until the guy finishes his trilogy series before dropping us in the setting based on his books?  I'm not looking forward to mid-arc plot adjustments to account when the next book in the series drops!

Gus: It's not like we're playing mains! *Laughs*

Dawn: Honestly, it was super flattering to hear the author of the series had loosely based two of his titular characters on Vernon and myself...

Vernon: Less so that he made the fella based on me help a vixen commit adultery...even if he wasn't 'with' his mate at that point...

Dawn: *Snickers* Puppy... I did use the phrase 'Loosely based on' for a reason.

Melanie: *Chuckles* I actually low-key love Widow Farrowfaighle. And it's not like Rowan cheated on Dolly...he was trying to run away from her so Dolly could have the life he thought she deserved. 

Gus: But all she wanted was him.

Melanie: And no matter how hard he tried to push himself away from her, no one else could ever be her. It's actually very sweet.

Joel: I'm kinda low-key hoping Dolly gets 'the consumption' too so Rowan ends up with Widow Farrowfaighle...

Vernon: JOEL!

Joel: *Shrugs* What? They have better chemistry. They'd make a badass bounty Hunter power couple. Besides, she's already having his kit! *laughs* I can totally picture her with a hybrid wolf pup in one arm and a double-barrel shot gun in the other. *Joel mimes the pose he's describing, pretending to let off a round.*

Melanie: Funny, I'm hoping O'dran dies. I hate that character archetype. Even if they keep hinting at his o' so tragic puphood.

Megumi: Rut you! I love O'dran. I've been shipping him and Allana since that whole bit with the illusion beer!

Gus: You'll have to excuse Melly, she's not a fan of any character in the series who dumps on her precious wooby widdle owl boy Garret...

Melanie: Garret is a precious little wooby boy, and I'm not ashamed to admit I love him.

Gus: I gotta admit, I do love Garret and Rowan's buddy cop movie dynamic. *Laughs*

Dawn: I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the O'dran and Allana ship myself *Giggling* There's something kinda cute about the tough little bunny taming a burly, prideful, fancies himself a ladies mam' type of fella who thinks he's untamable...even if he's a little speciest...*Giggles* And for the record, I also think Dolly and Rowan's dynamic is adorable...

Joel: That's bias right there...*Laughs*

Vernon: I mean, look at the end of the day I ain't gonna get all twisted over somethin' fictional....I am flattered. But the fact the fella really did a great deal of research on me and Dawn a'fore building Rowan and Dolly up...Like it makes it a little to...uncomfortably close to the genuine articles in a way that I guess makes me take the the affair thang a lil' personally.

Gus: What, he read 'Predator seeking Prey'?

Vernon: Not just that, he dug into our family histories all over the place...includin' The Blackwool's in Scotram, The Norwulff Düclaws, and a whole bunch of Hunter relatives scattered all over North Mammalia. *Chuckles* Even my Pa's study is mostly made up o' stuff that came over from Norwulff, and stuff that was written by those who stayed in Zootopia, with a stray series of letters here and there from the Hunter's that spread out. I actually learned more about the Hunter's that settled down in the Mesa Valley Federation durin' the actual Wild West era through one of the author's interviews than I ever learned about it from my folks.

Dawn: The same interview where he explained that Rowan and Dolly are sort of a mash-up of not only us, but Lady Blackwool and Erik...as well as several other ancient Hunter relatives rumored to have kept sheep wives?

Vernon: *Shakes head* We can thank Ulric fer that' one I guess...Once he blew the lid off of Lady Blackwool and Erik's little pack, Norwulff dropped a whole lot of...censored history once the cat was out of the bag...that's how I found out it seems like there's always a Hunter er' Düclaw, at least in every three generations, that has a cravin' fer mutton over a she-wolf. And...I ain't proud to admit that not every one o' them stories were examples of a star-crossed lovers sorta thang...

Dawn: Between the much earlier ancestor in the Düclaw's lineage who couldn't bear pups due to an injury early in life deciding to take on a harem of captured ewe wives, each taken from every invasion of Scotram he was a part of. To the sheriff of 'Tumbleweed Flats' in the Mesa Valley Federation who for all intents and purposes was an honored and beloved sheriff, but was also rumored to be frequenting the local ewe brothel fairly regularly late into the evenings...and the rumors made it very clear he had a favorite ewe...but yes, not every tale from the Hunter/Düclaw lineage was...well...'wholesome'.

Joel: Oh yeah, I remember that guy...Ur? Or Fjor? Wait...no, Fenrir...named after the god. Yeah, the most hilarious part of that story was that the ewe's quickly grew attached to him, and accepted all being his wives...And the rest of the pack looked the other way because he was their best warrior.

Melanie: Hilarious...if not a little messed up.

Vernon: Knowin' that I'm part of that character's DNA, along with the other more questionable Hunter's...I....well I don't love it...

Dawn: *Chuckles, giving Vernon an affection pet on his paw.* Oh Puppy, it's not like my widespread family history was much better...and I'm sure that extends to everyone here's history if you dig far enough back...besides, it's all made for very compelling characters. At the end of the day, we aren't Rowan and Dolly.

Kodi: Good thing too, otherwise you'd have to worry about that 'only She-wolves can really keep a male wolf' thing. *Laughs* The gods know we're sexual tyrannosaurs!  

Val: Hey, you know that's true Fluff...granted, foxes are even worse...hence how I can keep up with you. *Laughs*

Vernon: *Scoffs* Tell me the author of the story ain't a wolf without tellin' me he ain't a wolf directly.

Melanie: *Giggles* Oh come on, it's treated as a stereotype in the books anyway. No need to get your hackles up Vernon.

Gus: Jeeze, if I knew you were gonna get this twisted over fictional characters that were more or less inspired by you and your mate because he was such a fan of yours, I wouldn't have started crafting a campaign in the setting.

Dawn: Incidentally...I should point out he probably listens to our podcast Vernon...he's more than likely going to hear this...

Vernon: *Tenses up, his ears sagging sharply* I uh...I mean, I'm sorry! It's really flatterin'! Honest! 

Joel: Excellent save...*Chuckles* Not clumsy in the slightest.

Dawn: Please get in touch with us, we'd love to talk to you, and maybe I could send you a signed copy of our book? At least until the Roaropean book tour gets off the ground and we could meet in person!

Joel: Farrowell....Howellofaighle?

Vernon: Joel...*The wolf grumbles*

Joel: Okay, okay, how about we take a page from ol' Fenrir then? Farrowellpard? Shepowefaighle?

Vernon: Sweet sawgrass Joel enough!

Joel: At least give me a catfight in book two, that's all I'm asking for! For Kuzco's sake...maybe I should ship O'dran and Farrahfaighle...have the ol' buff blaggart step up to the plate a-.

Vernon: NO!

*Vernon's sharp exclamation draws the gaze of the entire group, Dawn tilting her head as she squints up at her mate with suspicion. Vernon starts sweating, rubbing the back of his neck in clear discomfort as he averts his gaze.*

Vernon: I mean...er...look...that fella is the last character who should be rasin' a pup...let alone Rowan's pup...i-it's a parentin' thang...not a...er...stakin' claim thing...

Joel: *Snickers* Shepowefaighle it is eh Fenrir?

Vernon: *Growls* Shut up Joel...er' I'll make y'all eat yer hat...

Ask the Ruminerds; Teenage mutant Ninja Turtle Incarnations

 

Gus: Original.

Joel: Original.

Vernon: I wasn't into it...

Broomie: Original.

Gus: I can't believe you didn't like any of them Vern!

Vernon: I mean, I missed the boat in terms of 'em airin'...I was born in 1990...I missed out on even most o' them reruns of the eighties shows...I'm surprised y'all got into that when all of y'all were born around the time I was...

Dawn: I guess it depends on what you had access to...?

Vernon: I mean I wasn't into a lot o' them 'action shows' I guess...I didn't get inta He-mammal, er' G.I. Jowl...er' none of that stuff...Oh course, we never exactly had premium cable...

Gus: There's the explanation...

Vernon: Well Lah-Dee-Dah...Y'know just cause my family had its own land fer over a century er' two don't mean we was exactly the wealthiest family in the North Meadowlands...*Vernon scratches his chin thoughtfully* I mean, look...I ain't sayin' we lived hand to paw...but my Mah and Pa was supportin' seven pups. Different thangs were prioritized when we was real little. Lotta hand me-down old Looney Tunes tapes, and whatever VHS tapes our parents picked up at the store...we didn't get exposed to most of them more...broad cartoon channels till they went basic in the late 90s...

Joel: My Aunt had the full package since I was a Cria, even the smutty channels...though they were locked behind a password. It had everything! Even imported Animalme...in fact, you can say that's how I got started.

Gus: We had expanded channels at my house...

Broomie: Same...so we got the old stuff, and the reruns...

Vernon: Also...me and my brothers missed out on a lotta...Saturday mornin' cartoons...just by virtue of bein' wolf pups...

Gus: *Chuckles* Yeah, whenever I slept over I remember you and your brothers would sleep till like, one in the afternoon...

Vernon: Can y'all blame us!? We're nocturnal mammals who had school and helpin' Ma with the farmin' and housework all week...o'course we slept like wolves on the weekend!

Dawn: *Giggles* That hasn't changed...any day you aren't working, we both sleep in...that is if you can keep me from slipping out of your paws...

Vernon: *Smirks* Again, can ya blame me...nuzzlin' up to you is the coziest, most comfy way to sleep I think I've ever experienced. It's like sleepin' curled up with a lil' slice o' heaven...

Dawn: *Leans up, smooching Vernon on the side of his muzzle* I could say the same about you Puppy Love. *Laughs* Why do you think I give in nine times out of ten?

Broomie: Actually, to get back on track...I really loved the OG comics. Though the 87' show was pretty fun. Granted I discovered the old-school comics later in life...I mean, after the show aired.

Gus: I think we can probably agree that the old movies were also good...well the first one was anyway, with diminishing returns on each sequel.

Joel: And that we blew off the Micheal Bay movies entirely...

Broomie: Hey we gave him a chance with Transfurmers, that ship has sailed.

Joel: Ugh, yeah, nah...those were rank...almost as bad as the Ruminant Evil film adaptations! *Spits in disgust*

Gus: Ugh! Don't get me started! We'll be at this all night and I actually want to get to playing tonight's campaign!

Ask The Ruminerds; Horror Film Fears

 

Gus: Melly loves dumb, mindless slasher films, the gorier the better... *Chuckles*

Melanie: Oh hell yeah! Blood! Blood and death! *Her giggling turns into a snort* I'd be hard-pressed to find a slasher movie I didn't like, from the cheapest of trash to the finest of treasures. If I had to pick an absolute favorite....hmmm....*Scratches chin thoughtfully*

Gus: It's going to be weird and obscure isn't it?

Mellanie: I mean, I could go with something like the Saw movies for something new...mostly cause I love the traps, and the saw puppet design...To a real classic like the Freddy Cougar movies...oh and Jason! *Chef's kiss*. 

Gus: *Chuckles and rolls his eyes*

Melanie: But I'm even into really dumb stuff like Gingerbread Mam', or Jackal Frost...It's just, soo, soo corny!

Gus: I think Chickie sorta falls into that category...although the production value is better than those films.

Melanie: *Snickers* At least at first...but like all franchises, they just get cheesier with each new installment. Of course, I can appreciate that too...though my favorite of all time has to be 'Basket Case'...

Gus: *Guffaws* The one with the dude with the malformed twin brother that he keeps in a wicker basket!?

Melanie: *Nods Briskly* It's just so dumb, but also kinda good...despite the budget. Granted the...rapey scenes are...*Winces*

Joel: Yeah, that was all B-movies from the eighties. A not so tactful, hamfisted way to shoehorn in some bare pelts to hopefully sell more product.

Megumi: I also like Slashers...though less than Kaiju films. The Ring is a good series...at least the Japandese version. *Scoffs* Howlywood ruined it like everything else they try to...what is the word? 'a-adapt'?

Joel: *Nods*

Melanie: Yeah, the North Mammalian adaptation is a little dull....still nowhere near as bad as found footage horror though...that's my least favorite horror film genre. The fad started by the Hare Witch really wrecked horror movies for a while.

Vernon: Much like reality TV shows ruined TV...

Dawn: *Rolls her eyes* Ugh, Reality TV, I could chatter on about the worst examples I've seen for hours...

Vernon: That said we ain't really into slasher films...

Dawn: Not that either of us find them particularly scary...more just dull...aside from a few exceptional meshes of more cerebral films with horror...like The Thing, or In the Muzzle of Madness...

Melanie: OOOH! The Thing's great. Hey, have I shown you two 'Event Horizon'? That one is great!

Dawn: Yes, right after we watched 'chopping maul' on double date movie night. *Giggles*

Melanie: *Laughs* I like to balance out the scarier ones with a goofy one when watching back-to-back.

Joel: What about you Brooms, you've been awfully quiet...

Broomie: We...sorta have a ban on Slasher movies at home...war films too...

Dawn: Really? Why?

Vernon: Is Talia scared of a few cheap jumpscares and blood made to look like chocolate?

Broomie: No...*rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably.* But with her...history, some of that stuff can really...touch some psychological sore spots... *winces*

Gus: Right...her PTSD...I totally forgot.

Broomie: The last thing we tried to watch was Mammalian Centipede, and as goofy as it was, something set Talia off so bad she was ready to tear the TV in half...

Vernon: Geeze...that's-

*Nearby door suddenly busts open, revealing Dom, looking as though he just came from running a marathon.*

Dom: WHO'S TALKING ABOUT MAMMALIAN CENTIPEDE!?

Ask the Ruminerds; Swimsuit Ratings

 

Gus: Did you expect anything else?

Joel: Really, 11?

Gus: What? It's better...it's an A plus.

Joel: That's the point of 10, remember? To keep the scoring consistent! Ten is supposed to be the top score.

Gus: *Pauses, looking as though he's deep in thought for a moment.*

Gus: Yeah... but 11 is one bigger...y'know?

Broomie: *Rolls eyes* Lot of effort there for a bad Spiral Tap reference...

Gus: Eh, you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take...

Ask the Ruminerds; People of Weirdopolis

 

Vernon: Sweet sawgrass son...y'all are firin' such a scattershot in terms of who yer lookin' to answer questions I'm thinkin' we're gonna need to rent a stadium just to get all the answers...*Chuckles* Might as well just ask the city at this point.

Dawn: *Pats Vernon's paw affectionately* Puppy, be nice...

Vernon: I am, I'm just kiddin'...*Laughs*

Dawn: Anyway, we were happy to answer your questions. We do our best to try and answer everyone who messages us to the best of our abilities, and your line of questions about your work and writing plans has been particularly engaging.

Gus: Especially to those of us who are...well...

Melanie:  Nerds. *Snickers*

Gus: Right, I was looking for a nicer term there...but...eh. *Shrugs*

Dawn: That said, we'll probably keep this question strictly among us Ruminerds, for convenience and simplicities sake.

Vernon: So with that cleared up, we'll answer yer new question...

Dawn: Well first off I want to compliment his character design. It's a really cool mashup of elements from those characters...

Broomie: I ain't gonna complain...I loved Hellboar and Savage Dragon...Also got a little Etrigan the Demon vibes off of your design. 

Gus: Going for the deep cuts huh? *Chuckles*

Broomie: Entrigan the Demon is not a deep cut...the dudes showed up in cartoons...he's not 'the brick wall', 'Egg Fur', or gods tremble, 'Snowfang'...

Joel: Isn't that the cat who got his powers by doing like toad drops...or coca leaves?

Broomie: Coca leaves. Yeah, he got high and fought crime...it's nuts...

Joel: At least none of those are dabbling in out there fetish territory, which I would probably stress you shouldn't even dip your hooves-I mean-paws, into that kind of territory even as a gag. 

Gus: You talking about the blueberry thing?

Joel: *nods briskly* Trust me, you don't want to open that door even a crack, lest all the weirdos will come out of the woodwork with requests...

Megumi: Takes a pervert to know a pervert huh? *Giggles*

Vernon: No, Joel is speakin' from experience...I remember him fallin' down a 3D modelin' rabbit hole involvin' those folks with a Wonkat Blueberry fetish.

Megumi: *Surprised, glances at Joel* Woah, what is this?

Joel: *Snorts* I was young, I wasn't familiar with the idea that literally any weird thing could be a fetish and someone wanted a model of their character as a blueberry ball like in the movie...

Gus: And he took the job thinking it was just for a gag...

Joel: Once it went out on my work pages, all the weirdos started skittering out of the shadows asking me for increasingly twisted fetish models. *Spits and snorts in clear irritation* 

Gus: Hey Joel! C'mon Mam' we talked about the spitting! At least use a damn cup!

Joel: Sorry, sorry! I just still get heated thinking about it...Anyway, about three commissions in I discovered the fetish and it made my wool feel like it was crawling with nits...I had to shut my store for a while, crop up a list of 'I won't do this' catch-alls for my commission page and wait until the messages trickled to nothing before starting to work again...

Broomie: I'm surprised you have standards...*Chuckles*

Joel: Hey, I specialize in cake and giant robots, things you can actually rut and cool stuff...that other stuff is too far even for me...though I will admit some of the offers were tempting...were talking triple or even quadruple my usual rate...and this is back when I was seventeen...

Vernon: But ya didn't?

Joel: I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to feel clean again if I went down that path...

Megumi: Well...relative clean-ness yes?

Vernon: Anywho...er...I'm not sure what I'd suggest...my mind first went to like...creatures outta fables but I thought that might be too... close to that comic series from a little while ago...

Broomie: Wolf Among Us?

Vernon: That's the one!

Joel: Tulpa-ish things would be cool...although I guess that's borderline what your other book is...

Gus: Tulpa?

Joel: Something you imagine that becomes real...

Gus: Ah...

Gus: How about aliens...but specifically the aliens that all the abduction stories are about...the greens.

Joel: Oh yeah, but like specifically not outer space aliens, but our weird perception of them...right down to being obsessed with rectal probing.

Melanie: I feel like that's drifting back into fictive territory. *chuckles* And fetish territory for that matter.

Dawn: Shadowmammals, pelt wearers, maybe creatures that see themselves as ancient gods...but it's questionable as to whether or not they are or were...

Vernon: Those all sorta border on cryptids, don't they?

Dawn: True, true...Mutton chops! this is harder than I thought it would be.

Gus: Oh, continuing that theme...how about all the terrible knockoff cryptids that we see as obvious fakes...Like the Mawlaysian mermaid, the fur trout, or even the Jackalope.

Joel: The Lepridchaun, but looking exactly like the amateur sketch from that one meme...

Gus: Right!

Melanie: *Giggles* That'd be hilarious, like some sort of cryptid island of misfit toys...

Broomie: You could also throw in some stuff in the vein of those SCP things...not direct copies, but stuff inspired by them.

Dawn: Ohh, those are fascinating...Edi got me to read quite a few of them and I'm honestly tempted to throw my own entry in and see if it would get approved...Anonymously of course.

Broomie: Why anonymously?

Dawn: I'd like to get approved or denied on the story's merits alone, and not by name. at the very least it's a good way to take a stab at some sci-fi horror and see how it is received.

Joel: How bout...randomly animate objects...?

Gus: What do you mean?

Joel: Well, you know how mammals lose all sorts of small stuff, like sole pads and keychains and so on...historically that stuff has been attributed to like...borrowers. But what if it was just cases of literally someone's left sole pad coming to life for no reason and running off?

Megumi: That's actually a good one I think. Very creative!

Vernon: A good one to end on too I think...we've been chatterin' about this fer a while, and the longer this goes on, the longer my Honey Lamb's gotta play stenographer.

Melanie: I still don't know how you manage to type so fast Dawn...it's practically blinding...

Dawn: *Giggles* I am a ewe who wears many hats.

Ask the Ruminerds; Mewrio Movie!

 

Gus: It was okay.

Melanie: I mean, really it's all you could possibly want in a Mewrio movie. Chock full of cute little references, but not to the point where it's super overbearing. The CGI, like the style, was beautiful on the big screen.

Gus: And as much as I was initially annoyed with some of the voice acting choices, I got used to most of them, even Chris Catt. *Chuckles* Though he's still no Charles Mewtinet.

Dawn: You guys took it better than Edi did...he was not happy with Mewrio's voice even after the movie...though he didn't hate the movie.

Gus: I didn't say I was happy with the voice acting, just that I got used to it. *Chuckles*

Joel: I think some of the better voice acting choices kinda balanced things out, like Bowser, Toad, and Mewigi. They may not have been the same as the games, but I don't think you get better voices or performances for those characters.

Gus: Maybe if they actually paid for traditional voice actors rather than paying for big-name actors they could have broadened their pool of choices.

Vernon: Eh, you know how it goes by now Gus, Y'all gotta have them big Howlywood actors to draw in more adults...

Gus: My rebuttal is that is the Mewrio movie. They were already going to have a maximum draw! Sweet Sawgrass Vern, Mewrio's the biggest mascot since Micky Mouse! Why not use Mewtinet? Or someone who could do an actual Mewrio voice...rather than just his normal every role voice?

Broomie: I love Mewtinet's Mewrio as much as the next guy... but do you really think you could endure an hour and a half of the Mewrio game voice? It would get old really fast...

Gus: *Snorts* Ehh...alright I'll give you that. But still, there were better choices than Chris Catt, I'm sure of it...

Melanie: *pats Gus' head affectionately.* Always need something to complain about huh Gussy?

Gus: *Chuckles* Hey, there's always room for improvement. Nothing can be a perfect ten out of ten...I'm just pointing out flaws that could be fixed going forward. 

Vernon: Classic Gus...*Chuckles*

Broomie: As for Star Wolves Day I-

Joel: None of us celebrate that stuff.

Broomie: Hey, but I-.

Gus: C'mon Brooms, you're going to tell us you actually celebrate some corporate holiday made to push merch sales? Melly and me don't even celebrate Mewrio Day, and we love that franchise...

Broomie: Look, I'm not going out and buying a crap ton of collectibles, or dressing up as Darth Grazer and going to some big dumb celebration. But it makes a nice night for sitting down with some snacks, curled up next to my mate, and watching the OG trilogy. It makes for a nice tradition...

Vernon: That doesn't sound half bad there Broomie...

Gus: It doesn't, but if I'm not mistaken, didn't you but a new lightsaber around then too? I remember like a week after May the fourth you spent your entire day off showing off your new lightsaber to anyone in the store willing to listen...*Smirks at Broomie knowingly.*

Broomie: *Begins to sweat, tapping his hooves together nervously.* W-well I...I mean...

Joel: That timetable is pretty suspicious dude. *The alpaca grins broadly at the little ram.*

Broomie: *Rolls his eyes and crosses his arms* Alright, alright. *Broomie Huffs* I...may have bought it during a... May the fourth sale...

Vernon: *Snickers, shaking his head* Hoo boy...*snickers*

Broomie: And it was a Starkiller Collectible 'Dark Saber', They've never tried to make a realistic dark saber before! It was thirty percent off!

Gus: thirty percent off...?

Broomie: *Sweating again.* twelve-hundred z-bucks...

Gus: TWELVE HUNDRED Z-BUCKS!? *Gus is genuinely shocked*

Broomie: Well it was Eight Hundred and forty after the discount...Not counting shipping and taxes of course...*Laughs weakly*

Melanie: Don't get me wrong, I love collectibles but that's....that's pretty steep.

Dawn: I'd say so...I mean while Vernon and I are sort of upper-middle class thanks to my writing, I don't think either of us would be comfortable spending that kind of money on a prop replica...

Joel: That you can't even really swing or hit folks with...

Broomie: OKAY! It was expensive! *Broomie blurts out, visibly annoyed.* B-But you can't deny that i-it looks so cool! *The ram whines*

Vernon: *Nods* I'll admit...it does look purty cool...

Joel: It would be cooler if you could swing the damn thing...*Snickers*

Ask Gus and Melly; Renaissance Faires

 

Melanie: Oh hell yeah, I rutting love me some Renaissance Faires!

Gus: I didn't like them much as a kid, but the fact that my family was always involved in them, and my developing love for roleplaying got me into them really quick by the time I was hitting puberty.

Melanie: I just...I love the period clothing, and speaking in old Kinglish...

Gus: The food is also pretty good.

Melanie: All the revamped culinary delights of the Medieval times without the health code violations and violent bouts of dysentery. *Snickers*

Gus: Clearly not very accurate to the period, I demand a refund. *Chuckles*

Melanie: Generally, unless one of us is sick, we'll hit both Renaissance Faires that come around Zootopia each year. First, there's the huge one in Downtown Savannah Central.

Gus: The 'Zootopia's Founding Renaissance Faire'. Heavy on both the history of early Zootopia and the festivities. Food's top-notch, and the 'actors' are real professionals.

Melly: *Groans* We've been trying desperately to work as players at that one, but the waiting list is so long we'd probably be in our fifties by the time we ever get a shot at performing in the Faire.

Gus: You've been trying desperately...I'm already quite satisfied with our in at the "North Meadowland's Renaissance Faire."

Melly: Hey now, just because I want to perform at the inner city Faire doesn't mean I don't absolutely love acting in the North Meadowlands Faire! Plus it gives us an excuse to visit your parents and Vernon's Mom. *Chuckles*

Gus: I should explain. With my Dad owning a gardening shop, and my Mom teaching at the North Meadowlands Elementary school, both my parents had incentives to get involved with the local Ren Faire. So my Mom plays the role of a tour guide and talks about the history of the North Meadowlands and the mammals who settled there. And my Dad plays the role of a farmhand, selling his vegetables at a stall and talking to folks about ancient agriculture and crop growing methods...while low-key advertising his gardening center...*Chuckles*

Melly: And Vernon's Mom runs, as you'd probably expect by now, a baking stall where she'd sell strawberry, blueberry, elderberry, and a bunch of other spring fruit pies.

Gus: Generally, like when I was a kid I'll go and help my Mom and Dad out, more often than not helping Dad at his stall, so I got to play as an 'apprentice'. As for Melly...

Melly: Well, Gus' Dad generally has enough help with Gus, and...to be honest Gus' Mom doesn't really need a teacher's aid shadowing her all day with no real commentary to add, so more often than not I'll find myself helping Audrey and Vanna at her stall slinging pies...which I have to admit is super fun. 

Gus: That's unsurprising. Anything you have to roll up your sleeves for is usually something you end up enjoying.

Melly: *Giggles* Audrey said I was a natural...Oh, she also wanted to let you know she's adopted me...*Snickers*

Gus: *Chuckles* Makes sense, that she-wolf was like my adopted second Mom once I met Vernon. As far as she was concerned I was one of her pups, albeit the awkward looking one. *Snickers*

Melly: Oh hush! * Melly swats at him playfully* You're adorable..., no surprise she'd make you an honorary Hunter Pup...

Gus: Considering I spent half of my teenage life at that Ranch, it's almost a gimme. *Laughs*

Melly: Regardless, considering what my Mom is like, it's nice to have not one, but two adopted Mom's to back me up...

Gus: So....considering Audrey has taken us both in as her Pups, does that make us related now? Surely that means we can't get married...

Melly: *Scoffs* Nice try Gussie, but you already proposed. The date is set, and there's no way I'm letting you out of our wedding now!