Vernon: Sweet sawgrass son...y'all are firin' such a scattershot in terms of who yer lookin' to answer questions I'm thinkin' we're gonna need to rent a stadium just to get all the answers...*Chuckles* Might as well just ask the city at this point.
Dawn: *Pats Vernon's paw affectionately* Puppy, be nice...
Vernon: I am, I'm just kiddin'...*Laughs*
Dawn: Anyway, we were happy to answer your questions. We do our best to try and answer everyone who messages us to the best of our abilities, and your line of questions about your work and writing plans has been particularly engaging.
Gus: Especially to those of us who are...well...
Melanie: Nerds. *Snickers*
Gus: Right, I was looking for a nicer term there...but...eh. *Shrugs*
Dawn: That said, we'll probably keep this question strictly among us Ruminerds, for convenience and simplicities sake.
Vernon: So with that cleared up, we'll answer yer new question...
Dawn: Well first off I want to compliment his character design. It's a really cool mashup of elements from those characters...
Broomie: I ain't gonna complain...I loved Hellboar and Savage Dragon...Also got a little Etrigan the Demon vibes off of your design.
Gus: Going for the deep cuts huh? *Chuckles*
Broomie: Entrigan the Demon is not a deep cut...the dudes showed up in cartoons...he's not 'the brick wall', 'Egg Fur', or gods tremble, 'Snowfang'...
Joel: Isn't that the cat who got his powers by doing like toad drops...or coca leaves?
Broomie: Coca leaves. Yeah, he got high and fought crime...it's nuts...
Joel: At least none of those are dabbling in out there fetish territory, which I would probably stress you shouldn't even dip your hooves-I mean-paws, into that kind of territory even as a gag.
Gus: You talking about the blueberry thing?
Joel: *nods briskly* Trust me, you don't want to open that door even a crack, lest all the weirdos will come out of the woodwork with requests...
Megumi: Takes a pervert to know a pervert huh? *Giggles*
Vernon: No, Joel is speakin' from experience...I remember him fallin' down a 3D modelin' rabbit hole involvin' those folks with a Wonkat Blueberry fetish.
Megumi: *Surprised, glances at Joel* Woah, what is this?
Joel: *Snorts* I was young, I wasn't familiar with the idea that literally any weird thing could be a fetish and someone wanted a model of their character as a blueberry ball like in the movie...
Gus: And he took the job thinking it was just for a gag...
Joel: Once it went out on my work pages, all the weirdos started skittering out of the shadows asking me for increasingly twisted fetish models. *Spits and snorts in clear irritation*
Gus: Hey Joel! C'mon Mam' we talked about the spitting! At least use a damn cup!
Joel: Sorry, sorry! I just still get heated thinking about it...Anyway, about three commissions in I discovered the fetish and it made my wool feel like it was crawling with nits...I had to shut my store for a while, crop up a list of 'I won't do this' catch-alls for my commission page and wait until the messages trickled to nothing before starting to work again...
Broomie: I'm surprised you have standards...*Chuckles*
Joel: Hey, I specialize in cake and giant robots, things you can actually rut and cool stuff...that other stuff is too far even for me...though I will admit some of the offers were tempting...were talking triple or even quadruple my usual rate...and this is back when I was seventeen...
Vernon: But ya didn't?
Joel: I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to feel clean again if I went down that path...
Megumi: Well...relative clean-ness yes?
Vernon: Anywho...er...I'm not sure what I'd suggest...my mind first went to like...creatures outta fables but I thought that might be too... close to that comic series from a little while ago...
Broomie: Wolf Among Us?
Vernon: That's the one!
Joel: Tulpa-ish things would be cool...although I guess that's borderline what your other book is...
Gus: Tulpa?
Joel: Something you imagine that becomes real...
Gus: Ah...
Gus: How about aliens...but specifically the aliens that all the abduction stories are about...the greens.
Joel: Oh yeah, but like specifically not outer space aliens, but our weird perception of them...right down to being obsessed with rectal probing.
Melanie: I feel like that's drifting back into fictive territory. *chuckles* And fetish territory for that matter.
Dawn: Shadowmammals, pelt wearers, maybe creatures that see themselves as ancient gods...but it's questionable as to whether or not they are or were...
Vernon: Those all sorta border on cryptids, don't they?
Dawn: True, true...Mutton chops! this is harder than I thought it would be.
Gus: Oh, continuing that theme...how about all the terrible knockoff cryptids that we see as obvious fakes...Like the Mawlaysian mermaid, the fur trout, or even the Jackalope.
Joel: The Lepridchaun, but looking exactly like the amateur sketch from that one meme...
Gus: Right!
Melanie: *Giggles* That'd be hilarious, like some sort of cryptid island of misfit toys...
Broomie: You could also throw in some stuff in the vein of those SCP things...not direct copies, but stuff inspired by them.
Dawn: Ohh, those are fascinating...Edi got me to read quite a few of them and I'm honestly tempted to throw my own entry in and see if it would get approved...Anonymously of course.
Broomie: Why anonymously?
Dawn: I'd like to get approved or denied on the story's merits alone, and not by name. at the very least it's a good way to take a stab at some sci-fi horror and see how it is received.
Joel: How bout...randomly animate objects...?
Gus: What do you mean?
Joel: Well, you know how mammals lose all sorts of small stuff, like sole pads and keychains and so on...historically that stuff has been attributed to like...borrowers. But what if it was just cases of literally someone's left sole pad coming to life for no reason and running off?
Megumi: That's actually a good one I think. Very creative!
Vernon: A good one to end on too I think...we've been chatterin' about this fer a while, and the longer this goes on, the longer my Honey Lamb's gotta play stenographer.
Melanie: I still don't know how you manage to type so fast Dawn...it's practically blinding...
Dawn: *Giggles* I am a ewe who wears many hats.
Dawn: Is that usually when you have to prepare for a presentation...
Vernon: * Groans* yeah...I just get so worked up 'cause I know every time I ain't just sellin' a design, I'm sellin' myself. So despite doin' my best to tune things out and de-stress with music. It just...it can't cut through the anxiousness and annoyance...
Gus: I'm guessing you're talking about having to prove yourself when folks see a wolf trying to pitch them a building design?
Vernon: Unless it's a customer I've worked with before, it's always the same song and dance..." Oh, weird choice to have a wolf present the design to us..." er' "Hey, I said I wanted to meet the real architect!" *Vernon sticks his tongue out* Bleh. A lot of 'em don't wanna hear anymore after they find out I actually am the designer.
Dawn: *Hugs Vernon's leg* Aww...wolfy...
Vernon: Sorry, I sorta drove this off track a bit...just...y'know...I get frustrated...uh...anyway...what were we talkin' about?
Gus: Music energizing you?
Vernon: Right...well outside o' work...I mean, music ain't never got me so full of energy I really want to dance it out er' go fer a run. But it'll get me feelin' extra creative when I'm designin' a buildin' er' structure...and when I'm pushin' through some chore er' what not.
Dawn: I'm the same...I'm not really a big dancer or anything like that...but I feel so infused with creative energy when I hit a really good song while writing...it just makes the words pour out of me like water out of an exploding dam.
Vernon: Y'all sure you don't dance? Cause I know I've caught that wooly butt o' yers wigglin' when doin' some o' the chores while you got them earbuds in...
Dawn: Oh I'm aware, you've certainly 'goosed' me quite a few times while I was unaware...*Chuckles*
Vernon: A wolf's gotta hunt...*Laughs* Besides, can't pass up an excuse to dance with my Honey Lamb.
Dawn: Aww....Puppy, *Gestures the wolf to bend down* C'mere you. *Grips the sides of Vern's face and gives the wolf a deep kiss* MWAH!
Vernon: *Draws back and begins fanning himself with a paw*. This ewe's givin' me the vapors Gustav!
Gus: *Shakes his head, trying to stifle his smirk.* Sweet Sawgrass...you two should get a room already...and don't call me 'Gustav'...you know I hate it...
Melanie: You're only encouraging them. *Snickers*
Gus: Cervidwens Hooves, if it wasn't for the fact it was such a genetic long shot for you two to have kids in the first place, I'd wager you'd be eight litters deep by now.
Dawn and Vernon: *Laughing*
Vernon: Alright, what about you two?
Gus: I'll admit, the right song can really get me going while writing a campaign setting. Or doing work around the store...though I'm not a dancer...like at all...
Melanie: I have to be half-way to drunk to think dancing is a good idea.
Dawn: So like at our reception them? *Dawn smirks*
Melanie: Hey! That wasn't my fault! *Laughs* I was the only not wolf drinking! Your brother-in-law didn't mix it right for someone my size! I didn't choose to be smashed!
Vernon: Hey I didn't mind, watchin' you dress Yuri down because he hadn't tied yer 'new best friend Ada' down yet was probably the funniest thang I'd seen all night...
Melanie: *Holds up a finger* While I was pretty smashed, my point still stood...That yeen is a goddess...waaay too good for him.
Vernon: Yeah, that's what my whole family says...'cept Yuri anyway *Chuckles*
Joel: Animalme soundtracks supercharge my life!
Gus: Don't you spend most of your day in a chair making 3d models...
Joel: And playing visual novels!
Megumi: I prefer North Mammalian Rock...nothin' gets my blood charged like a wi-wicked? Wicked solo. Makes cleaning up our apartment or my store so much easier to get through.
Broomie: I work out a lot now, but even before that music and my job were kind of inseparable, especially on the tougher days when I was really feeling wiped out. When I didn't think I could make the last few blocks worth of deliveries, or the weather just was too miserable, music always gave me the extra push I needed to power through. And it did the same during my...well entry to yoga with Talia.
Joel: Those must have been fuuuUUn...*The llama chuckles sarcastically*
Broomie: Aside from my job, I wasn't a big exerciser...and I certainly wasn't flexible in the slightest.
Vernon: To be fair, most of us ain't...fer me that's the other reason I never went into workin' police like my Pa wanted. Too much...fitness fer upkeep...
Gus: And that's why you've been doughy since high school. *Snickers*
Dawn: Hey, lay off my wolf...*Squeezes his slight gut affectionately.* I happen to be a real fan of dough...*Giggles*
Broomie: Talia didn't force me to like...keep up with her or anything. She didn't even force me into fitness...but she wanted me to be a part of her morning yoga routines and I...wanted to be a part of them too...even with that, most of my morning yoga with Tali is still low-impact...I ended up losing most of my weight for...um...*Blushes* Through other methods...
Gus: *Snickering* Broomie, you animal...
Broomie: Hey, unlike the other stuff, the bedroom was the one place I was determined to keep up! I was not letting Tali down!
Joel: So, did music help you power through or...?
Broomie: Shut up! *Laughs*
Wasty: I think the difficult thing here...aside from bringing the ages in line, is figuring out how to have them all grow up in the same general area while still maintaining large elements of their initial upbringing. What I would probably do would be to drop everyone in roughly the same area, and the one that's most accommodating for everyone involved would be in between the North and South Meadowlands, with Nick living in the more suburban Southern Meadowlands, and Judy and her family being shifted up to the North Meadowlands either with them moving or having always lived there. I'd also shift over Gideon Grey and Sharla and her brother to keep Judy's Kithood mostly consistent.
Starting off, I think Dawn and Judy would become friends first, what with both being fairly small mammals. Considering young Judy's personality, I think she'd notice a very shy and timid Dawn and feel sort of compelled to befriend her. She'd also usually be the one to stick up for Dawn against bullies even if her efforts to do so were easily blow off by most mammals since she was just a 'weak little bunny'. Through that connection Dawn would also be befriended by Sharla, as Judy would have met the little black lamb before Dawn and brought her along. Vernon would come along shortly after, with the same situation occurring that brought them together in the first place, only this time there'd be a distinct difference. The bully would be Gideon Grey. I imagine Judy would miss school semi-regularly due to having to help with the family farm, which would end up leaving Dawn without a defender, and after several attempts on picking on the ewe spoiled by Judy going Hall Monitor on Gideon, the first absence since Judy started stepping in for Dawn would leave an opening to good for the fox to pass up. After all, the tod knew there was no way Sharla would step in without Judy. Sharla would run to the teacher to get help, but by the time she got help the situation would have already been handled by a certain grey wolf pup.
Vernon would still leap into the fray, pulling the same stunt he always did by recklessly fighting a bully, but he would more than likely win this one, as despite being a runt, he'd still be bigger than Gideon. The next day Dawn would introduce Vernon to Judy and Sharla and tell her about how he sent Gideon wailing for a teacher, and Vernon would immediately earn the rabbits' friendship. In a short time, Judy would become super enamored with Vernon's family after finding out just what they did, and would probably get to the point of driving Vernon and his brothers nuts by asking endless questions about real police work. As they grow up, she even develops a little kithood crush on Vernon's Dad for a while because he's just 'So COOL!" in her words. And unlike her own parents and most of those in the community, Dorian and the Hunters, (Save for Yuri), are super supportive of Judy's dream. Dorian even allows her to train with the boys, much to Yuri's annoyance.
Dawn and Vernon's friendship is still briefly broken up by Aster about a month after the trio unites. However, Dawn having multiple friends in school rather than just one wolf gives Clover the extra push she needs to leave her husband the night he breaks Dawn's friendship bracelets, (As there is now a bracelet from for both Vernon and Judy.) At that point, Dorian brings Clover and Dawn to the Hunter Ranch to stay while Clover files for divorce and looks to find a new home for her and her daughter. They end up staying a year before, with the help of Dorian and Judy's Parents, managed to find a small townhome relatively close to both the Hunter Ranch and the Hopps farm, thus allowing Dawn continued easy access to her friends.
Nick would come along later, shortly after the 'Ranger Scout' incident. I figure Nick's Mom would be a mixture of heartbroken and livid that her son was treated the way he was, but knowing she wouldn't be able to get anyone to do anything meaningful about it, and that Nick would still have to go to school with those kids that teased him, she calls on her cousin in the North Meadowlands and with their help quickly relocates her and her son out of the suburbs. That cousin is Gideon Grey's mother, and while part of the intent of moving Nick up there was so he'd be able to be friends with his second cousin Gideon, and have a fox friend, the pair immediately rub each other the wrong way. It doesn't help that they're forced to live under one roof while Nick's mom attempts to find a new job and a new home for the both of them.
Fairly quickly the two get in a fight after Gideon finds out that Nick is still holding on to some of his ranger scout uniform and teases him mercilessly over it, eventually sending Nick running out of the house in tears. Nick walks alone for a while, wandering the local roads of the North Meadowlands until he gets to a small bridge over a river. Nick, still crying considers tossing the last of his Ranger scout gear into the water when he's discovered by an awkward little billy goat who mistakes him for a new recruit to the scouts he hasn't met yet. After Nick reluctantly explains himself and what happened, the little goat refuses to let the young tod throw away his ranger gear, instead promising to get Nick into his own troop. This little billy, if you haven't picked up on it by now, is Gustav Hornsly.
With Gus vouching for him, the fox is inducted, (reluctantly on the part of the den leader), into the North Meadowlands Ranger Scout Troop. Of course, that reluctance came more from his being related to notable troublemaker Gideon Grey more than anything. But being friends with the weird sickly little goat is bound to get you picked on, and thus a similar situation happens to that of the initial bathroom swirly scene where Gus met Vernon. Only now, Gus is quickly dropped in favor of Nick when the tod steps in to defend his friend. Of course, his charisma isn't enough to save him, and so the tod finds himself about to get the crap kicked out of him by a lumbering teenage cheetah when Vernon enters the bathroom and breaks the whole mess up. Nick tries to play off needing the wolf's help, but Gus undermines him by thanking the wolf for saving both their hides. Gus and Vernon become fast friends, with Nick tailing behind as the friend group is finally connected.
A lot goes on from that point in terms of character interaction. Gus and Vern start the school's BnB club together, dragging a reluctant Nick along with Dawn, Judy, Sharla, Broomie, Joel, and Claire. Judy ends up joining the ranger scouts and being one of the few mammals aside from Gus willing to work with Nick, the pair become fast friends. Dawn still briefly dates Gus in this timeline, and then the 'singles' prom situation plays out similarly, only now Dawn has a significantly larger female support group advising her as to what to do, and the same goes for Vern with his male support group. Of course, being friends with Claire, Dawn knows she has feelings for Vern and that does cause friction when Dawn develops her own feelings for the wolf. And as for Vern, you can bet Nick mercilessly teases Vernon over being a prey chaser. Of course, that's before actually going to the prom, and the wolf actually catching feelings for Dawn, at which point Nick is oddly sympathetic and encouraging.
Meanwhile, ol' Gideon Grey has been out of the picture for a while, at least in terms of picking on members of the group. It is only when he comes to see Nick and apologizes to him that everyone learns the chunky tod has been seeing a counselor and has mostly mended his ways. He apologizes to everyone in the group and is eventually absorbed into it. In the lead-up to prom, Gideon and Sharla really warm up to each other, but it still really shocks the group when Gideon asks Sharla to the prom, and even more shockingly she agrees. Naturally, this puts Sharla in the best position to really rally behind Dawn when her own romantic feelings for Vern begin to form, as well as makes her the best to confide in about her feelings next to Judy.
After graduation, Judy is the first to rocket into the local police academy, with both Dorian's training giving her a head start, and a written recommendation from the law wolf forcing a lot of the instructors to push aside their misgivings about a rabbit aiming to be a cop. According to Dorian, starting out in the North Meadowland Police would make for a great stepping stone to getting into the ZPD, a goal that the doe is eager to shoot for. By this point, Nick and Judy have become really close, and so she ends up encouraging him to follow along with her into the NMPD, and after some training with ol' Mam' Hunter, the fox signs up for the academy as well.
Vernon is reluctant to go into the police academy. He feels...sort of pigeonholed by his father to take up the work and definitely feels uncertain about the whole thing. But with two of his friends in the academy, the wolf decides to go for it. As for Dawn, encouraged by seeing all of her friends enter, especially Judy, and having endured the 'Hunter Family' police regiment herself, and done quite well in Dorian's eyes, Dawn follows swiftly along with her mate. While Vernon and Judy prove to be strong in the athletic portion of the training, Dawn, and Nick really shine in the more mental investigation and observation aspects of the work. The four are hired onto the NMPD shortly after graduation, and while Vernon and Dawn stay in the North Meadowlands and rise to the ranks of deputy. Judy transfers out to the ZPD about two years in, with Nick following shortly behind his partner.
Though now separated, the four meet up fairly regularly and remain close friends even into the present. Although the four of them have begun to muse about the prospect of creating a private investigation business in Zootopia to run together. Whether that happens or not, who can say? It was a fun little tangent nonetheless.
Yearbook Transcript
Yo Gus, hope summer camp won't keep ya too busy. Me and Dawn are gonna really miss havin' ya around. Plus without you around to stem the flock, these ewe's 'er gonna eat me alive.
-Yer best friend "Sheepdog" A.K.A. Vernon Hunter
I'm sorry things didn't work out between us Gussy. I hope we can always stay best friends! See you after your Ranger Camp stuff.
-Dawn Bellwether
Howdy Gus, Sorry I'm not great at the BnB stuff! Still had fun though!
-Love, Sharla Baker
Thanks fer makin' me feel welcome after all I did ta most of ya. Thanks for the second chance.
-Gideon Grey
Hey Gus, have fun at Ranger Camp! Much Love,
-Claire Baahley
When you get back, you owe me a pocket mammals rematch!
-Yer Bud Dylan Broomie
Ey Shatterhorn, hate to admit it, but I actually had fun "playing pretend" with your other nerd friends in club. See ya in the Ranger Scouts Summer Camp. Heads up! I'm coming for that merit badge record!
-Nick P. Wilde - Your 'better' best friend.
Hey Ranger buddy! Looking forward to summer camp? I know I am! Hope you prep a campaign or two for the slow nights! I'm really digging this roleplaying stuff.
-Judy Hopps
Hey Dude, have fun at summer camp! Promise I'll have a bunch of Mamanga's to share when you get back! I swear to keep the porn ones to a minimum.
-Joel Pacal
Gus: I mean, I'd say yes, strictly due to the acting chops on Pepe Le Pew, even if it is...uncouth to talk about his work these days.
Melanie: I'm surprised it caught on back then...he's...I mean it's kinda grody how pushy he is and yet it's played for laughs.
Gus: Well it was aimed at kids anyway, I don't think they were thinking about the implications of each scenario, much less that kids would read anything deeper into it, or act it out. The bulk of it is low-brow "I smell super bad" humor anyway.
Vernon: Funny thang too...I always figured Maris was like...mostly horses.
Val: Can confirm actually, I've visited Ellie in Maris once or twice, and like...eighty percent of the mammals there are some sorta long-legged prey, usually horses.
Gus: Which makes it all the funnier that the 'pushy Prench skunk stereotype' became the dominant thought when folks thought of Marisians. The native population of Mustelids is like...fractionally tiny. But here we are...and then we had Fifi to re-enforce that image in the late eighties.
Vernon: Heh, I remember her...purty sure Zach had a lil' crush on that gal when we was growin' up. I distinctly remember finding a pin-up o' her under his bed.
Joel: Nice. Your brother has pretty good taste.
Gus: Naturally between the two of them, skunks have developed that flirtatious, romantic reputation...which they cling to for dear life because before that all they had was being seen as 'stinky'.
Broomie: And that stereotype is still fighting neck and neck alongside the romantic thing.
Melly: Can you call that a stereotype if it's true?
Dawn: I mean, there's a reason most skunks elect to have their spray glands removed...it's very...leaky from what I've heard. So they never quite know if they're going to have a slight accident and start stinking up the place...it sounds rough. It's better to just nip it in the bud and get rid of them as they don't...I mean it's not really a needed mechanism in modern times anyway.
Gus: I dunno, I mean it did save Fifi's life when that stalker tried to pounce on her in the 90s.
Melanie: She still has her glands?
Gus: Prench Skunks are very big believers in being 'all-natural'. A few stinky situations in life are worth remaining 'in-tact' to them. Plus it was part of her act...though it was super exaggerated. Although she sprayed that boar so thoroughly that he was left blinded and puking, and the police had to carry him off while covering their own mouths with handkerchiefs.
Joel: You're pretty knowledgable about the Gus...didn't take you for a prench physical comedian fan...
Gus: I am literally just reading this stuff off Wikipawdia on my phone.
Joel: Aww...and here I thought you were cultured.
Gus: Stinky comedy isn't high-class comedy...it's not cultured. And it's not funny.
Val: Sexual assault-based comedy, on the other paw, is hilarious...
Gus: Probably one of the best Kung Fu movie trilogies, hooves down.
Joel: Seconded...It's a great mixture of like classic Kung Fu style plot lines and intrigue...not to mention the humor.
Gus: Oh yeah, it's amazing how the...I don't even know how to describe it properly. It's like it's paced in such a way that you don't get tonal whiplash from switching from the more comedic elements to the serious moments to the badass fight scenes...It's like it finds a way to strike a perfect balance of all those things and somehow maintains it for three films.
Joel: That's what happens when you keep the team and director consistent across the entire project. The director came in with a plan and a vision and worked with a super-talented team to get it done.
Melanie: I'm just amazed they were able to make those 'non-mammalian' characters actually feel real despite being CGI
Joel: Well not all of them were CG. Master Monkey was actually a fox in a monkey suit and makeup. The ones that were total CG were Master Viper and Master Mantis...Hey...did anyone else find Master Viper kinda hot?
Gus: Ew, no.
Melanie: Nope.
Vernon: Nah...
Broomie: Ehhh....
Dawn: Not really...
Megumi: Absolutely. One hundred percent.
Joel: Thanks for backing me up babe.
Megumi: I would let that snake coil me up and do things to me, and I'm not even into girls...
Melanie: Speaking of, was I....mam' this is gonna sound weird considering who I'm friends with...but was anyone else put off by the romantic subtext between Master Tigress and Po?
Vernon: You were put off by interspecies subtext? *The wolf quirks a brow*
Melanie: No! No! I mean, look you and Dawn are great together. Broomie and Talia, Joel and Megumi, I'm not judging, I love you guys. It's not a species thing it's...I mean Tigress is so cool, and like...Po is super lame...
Broomie: This is coming from you...of all mammals? Seriously? *Broomie glances at Gus, then back to Melly before nodding his head toward the billy.*
Gus: *Gives Broomie a dull glare before shifting his attention back to his mate.* Babe...
Melanie: What? WHAT?
Gus: *Rolls his eyes*
Melanie: Oh come on, I'm not saying...*Shakes her head* Look, you aren't...I'm not cool!
Joel: So Gus is lame then? *Snickers*
Melanie: NO! Gussy I'm not making like...Po's annoying and fat!
Vernon: Ain't most Panda's fat?
Megumi: Generally...Red Panda's also tend to be on the chunky side...it's a bear family thing. We're big-boned and built to put on weight fast...make's it tough to lose it.
Melanie: You aren't annoying or fat Gussy! You know I love you!
Dawn: Melly, stop digging before you hit a sewage main, please...
Vernon: He is grouchy a lot of the time though...
Broomie: And frustrating to argue with...
Joel: And mean...
Gus: *Rolls his eyes* I feel. SO loved. Right now...
(Wasty: In this universe, I see the Kung Fu Panda trilogy as a series of action films for adults. If I were to equate it to something similar in our world, it would probably be something between crouching tiger hidden dragon, and Kung Fu Hustle. With maybe just a pinch of my favorite kung fu film of all time, Kung Pow, enter the fist.)
Gus: Oh, the Mawndella Catalogue? That's one of my favorite ARGs. That 'alternates' art, though kinda basic, is also super visceral and unnerving. And I love anything told through the lense of analog horror.
Joel: Ohh yeah, like Local 58, or Gemewni Home entertainment...they have that low-budget public access tv feel that feels terrifyingly accurate to pre-broadband television broadcasts.
Dawn: Ooh Local 58...that video 'contingency' still gives me chills to think about.
Vernon: Same here...though gotta give an honorable mention to Mystery Flesh pit National Park. The amount o' world buildin' in that ARG is just...I mean it feels like it was a real place.
Broomie: Would you say that Kanine Pixels Backrooms stuff is Analogue horror? I mean, it is an ARG...
Gus: I'd say so, the way it's filmed very much feels like internal recordings or corporate presentations.
Vernon: As fer Ully's take on thangs...I should have y'all know that Honey kinda...screens that stuff to keep Ully's imagination on a leash. Even on his meds he...can still have trouble distinguishin' fantasy from reality. So them ARGs are really built to mess with a mind like his. I think the last thing he actually managed to catch was that story about the Inifinite Iflea, and he took that so seriously he got arrested fer trespassin' cause he tried to camp in one overnight hopin' he'd make the jump.
Dawn: Oh yeah, I remember that...are we...still keeping that one from Dori and Auddey?
Vernon: Honey handled it, so I don't see what draggin' Ma and Pa into it would do at this point only than frustrate everyone involved. Sides', I'm sure Ully's got in plenty more troublesome situations they don't know about...er me for that matter...and I'd prefer not to know...*Chuckles*
Gus: Awful...all of them are awful. I can't think of a single game adaption that was actually good.
Mellanie: Sonic the hedgehog.
Gus: ...Eh...okay, I'll give you the sonic movies...but can you really even call them an adaptation of the story?
Vernon: Er...yeah?
Gus: No, what I mean is...like yes it is an adaptation of Sonic as a...character? But it's not an adaptation of any of the game stories. They did that dumb thing Howlywood always does where they bring a character into the Animalian world in order to save costs. Like those terrible chipmunk films...or the Sniff's movie...
Vernon: Well even fer one of them types of movies, they did alright...
Dawn: The Pups loved it.
Joel: And there are way...way worse game adaptations out there...like the Monster Stalker movie...or the entire Roosident Evil series.
Gus: Cervidwen's hooves, don't remind me about the roosident evil films...*Shudders* Six damned movies that are little more than fanfiction built around propping up the directors wife's ego...or show her off or whatever...
Broomie: It really is...her character actively steals thunder from the other actual characters in the series...like that moment in the second one where Jill's trying to blow up those zombie komodo dragons in the room filled with gas, and she throws a match and it goes out, but then Alice throws a lighter or something...it's insane.
Joel: Makes you wonder how it got six movies...
Gus: Sheep...Er...I mean...er...normies...Sorry Dawn.
Dawn: It's fine, I've heard the sheep flock allegory used as a derogatory term for my whole life...I'm already used to it. It's ingrained in most cultures' colloquiums after all, for better or worse.
Joel: Normies don't care if it's accurate to the source material...they just want to turn their brains off and watch a bunch of attractive mammals mugging for the camera and explosions for an hour and a half.
Gus: Then why even use the IP? Why not just make something original?
Broomie: The name has a built-in fanbase...and normie buzz...
Gus: You don't have the built-in audience when they know to avoid the movie because it's going to botch the lore!
Joel: It still has that normie buzz though. People who only have a surface-level knowledge of the series, think the concept is cool, but don't care about all that quote-unquote "Nerdy Baggage" that comes with actually being into a franchise.
Gus: You think it's the same sort of thing with those 'live-action animalme' remakes?
Joel: *Snorts* Oh don't even get me started on live-action animalme remakes! I still have nightmares about that 'Cowboy Fleabop' series they produced for Petflix!
Broomie: I think there isn't a soul alive that doesn't want to forget about that Cowboy Fleabop live-action series...
-Wasty
Joel: I'm just going to tell you right now...like...I sold off my old Hoo-man's collection from when I was a cria after watching that special.
Gus: Geeze...well I guess we know your stance on humans huh?
Joel: Don't get me wrong, I like humans...I mean, I don't think they are like...inherently evil or anything. Lots of different mammals did lots of extremely evil things since the dawn of time...it's just...I couldn't look at those stupid figures and cards anymore without...seeing Marcus...his father...*shudders*
Megumi: I felt the same way. It was...the cuteness was lost...they were...what is the Anamaglish word....Retro...retrotract-?
Joel: Retroactive?
Megumi: Yes! Retroactively ruined by harsh reality. The Hoo-man toy lines had goofy villains, and rarely ever had true...meaningful threats. Reality though...
Gus: Reality is always significantly less cutesy and cuddly than the real deal.
Broomie: To be fair though, Humans weren't a reality until what...like six months ago? Up until that point, Humans were urban legends...a fantasy race in B&B...
Melanie: Did you watch the special Dylan?
Broomie: I did...but since I had fair warning about the beating part...I skipped that portion. I just...I didn't have the stomach for it. I mean, we've all met Marcus...I can...I just...
Gus: Relax Brooms, nobody here is judging you.
Broomie: Did you and Mel...?
Melanie: *Sigh* We did...we...we wanted to know what Marcus really went through...to see it from as close to his perspective as we could...and it....it was ghastly...I just...I was just crying quietly the whole time it was going on...and it just felt like it was going on forever...
Gus: Me and Melly were just sorta huddled on the couch, holding each other during the bulk of it...It was...rough to say the least...
Joel: Megumi was practically strangling my neck she was gripped so tightly to it...not that it mattered, I could barely breathe or swallow anyway...I felt like I was one errant gulp from throwing up Pandese food all over the coffee table.
Judy: I....honestly...I thought I was more steeled for that kind of thing going into it...but I...gods I was clutching Nick's tail and just burying myself into it every time they raised that lash...
Nick: I'm not proud to admit I managed to watch the whole time...but I'm paying for it now...it feels like it's imprinted on my eyelids...every time I close my eyes I see that poor kids face...I hear the disgustingly excited chants from the crowd, the jeers feeling as though they were entirely deafened by them.
Judy: My parents didn't believe in physical reprimand when it came to raising me and my siblings, they never raised a paw to us. It was always groundings and taking stuff away, or just the silent treatment. *shakes head* every time my Mom refused to talk to me, I'd crumble and bawl like a kit begging for forgiveness...and though I've seen dramatizations and true crime stories featuring this kind of stuff...seeing the real, raw footage...I just couldn't take it.
Val: You guys are nuts, why would you even subject yourself to watching literal kit-abuse? Did you just want to kill a little piece of your soul on purpose or something?
Gus: We wanted to better understand what Marcus endured Val...
Val: The kit's told us enough about what he went through, I didn't need to see it.
Melanie: I take it you didn't watch it?
Val: And I'm not going to...like I said. He knows what happened, we know what happened. He's happy now, and I'm sure the kit just wants us to move on. As long as he doesn't feel the need to talk about it...we shouldn't be burdening him with it.
Gus: I mean, that's fair. That's a fair take.
Melanie: Regardless of who watched it and who didn't, we'll all be there for Marcus if he needs it...not that we've gotten to know him all that well compared to Dawn and Vern.
Gus: And we certainly won't see the kid any different than we already did see him. Just a bright young boy trying to live happily with his new family...my feelings on humans though...er...
Melanie: Mixed...as much as I'm ashamed to admit...
Gus: Exactly...I feel the same way.
Judy: Oh come on guys, not all Humans are like that Kartakkan mob...or Marcus' Dad.
Gus: I know, I know....it's just...y'know...sometimes I see a human out and about in the city, or one shows up in the store and I...I look at the-them...*Shakes head* And I can't help but see some of those...faces from the crowd...
Melanie: Or Marcus' Dad's own face...
Gus: We're trying to work past it but...it's not something we can get over overnight, y'know?
Megumi: I can understand that...I feel a pang of small fear every so often when I see one since the video...and then I feel ashamed.
Nick: Despite sitting through that mess of a scene...I've largely been okay with my human interaction...sure...sometimes the video does...pop into my thoughts, but I'm...pretty good at burying it back down into my subconscious...
Broomie: As someone who skipped that part entirely I've been alright...I mean, there are more cities, ones that weren't failed states or dictatorships, I mean they were in the documentary. Joel was right, it's not as if any one species has clean hooves. But...I imagine I might struggle a bit had I seen the lashing video...and I'd especially feel just a little weird seeing Marcus now...Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to make him feel like some kind of alien...but it's just like...I wouldn't even know what to say I think...
Val: Just ask him about Nerd stuff...I'm sure you'll synch up on something...by the time you've been talking his ear off about whatever comic series you're currently binging for half hour the kid will be looking to get away from you rather than the other way around.
