Ask Honey and Ulric; Ulric's Lost Job

 

Honey: That's an easy one. We've both been effectively 'blacklisted' from conventional jobs thanks to being caught up in an international scandal.

Ulric: My department didn't take kindly to the fact that I'm a truthseeker! *The wolf crosses his arms, scoffing.*

Honey: For those who were living under a rock, Ulric and I were responsible for revealing to the world via live stream that Moira Blackwool and Erik Duclaw had the first recorded sheep and wolf hybrid pup...er...lamb...child in history...

Ulric: *Holds up a finger in a corrective fashion.* As far as we know!

Honey: Naturally, that alone was enough to cause an international incident between Norwulff and Scottram. Plus the fact that we essentially broke into the sacred crypt of the Duclaw pack by exploiting Ulric's blood relation to the royal family, and essentially desecrated a tomb by blowing open a sealed slab of stone and opening a sarcophagus that hadn't been opened in four hundred plus years that was strictly off limits to pretty much everyone...well, it didn't exactly help our appeal.

Ulric: And Honey got banned from streaming her gaming channel for six months because when we were celebrating she forced herself on me...*Ulric shakes his head dismissively.*

Honey: *Frowns* Don't say it like that! *Crosses her arms and pouts, averting her gaze from her mate* I only jumped into your arms and kissed you...once we were on the floor you were kissing back just as hard!

Ulric: *Rolls eyes* So, aside from getting the entire Hunter family banned from entering both Norwulff and Scottram, something my *Cringes slightly as he utter's Dawn's title.* 'Sister-in-law' and Father had to negotiate with the Norwulff royals to get lifted for everyone. Well, everyone excluding me and Honey-

Honey: It was pretty much the only thing the Norwulff government wouldn't budge on. Every offer in the negotiations included keeping the lifetime ban in place for me and Ully.

 *Ulric clears his throat in irritation, clearly less than pleased at being cut off.* 

Ulric: BeCaaause....*He flashes Honey a brief glare* Because we were seen as responsible for causing the international incident with Norwulff and Scottram, most civilian jobs, especially ones tied to any sort of authority or government, we essentially got black-balled from polite commerce. So...my forensics degree is now useless outside of the skills I've picked up because no one in need of a forensic scientist is going to want to hire one with this black mark on his record.

Honey: Aside from my six-month ban for 'performing sex acts on a PG-13 stream', it was a bit touch and go as to whether pressure from Scottram or Norwulff officials would be enough to see me banned outright...*Laughs* I tell you, if it had been Great Kitten, or Zootopia proper, I'd be gone too. Thankfully Scottram and Norwulff's governments, while powerful, aren't as powerful as Zootopia, the NMU, or Great Kitten. So for now, HoneyOnTheMoney Gaming endures, which is good as it's the only source of income we have right now.

Ulric: Well, my own stream did see a fairly substantial increase in subscribers after our discovery.

Honey: Your 'own stream' has been demonetized since even before the Hybrid thing! Ever since you went on that very, VERY speciest rant about sheep after the first Night Howler incident!

Ulric: And I refuse to apologize! *Ulric crosses his arms defiantly, ears splaying against his head as he closes his eyes.* The historical track record of sheep as a species shows they've chosen to undermine all other species whenever the opportunity arose! *Shakes head* Although they're not nearly as bad as all those filthy rode-.(REDACTED)

'In the interest of keeping our own podcast from being banned from the network, the rest of my brother-in-law's seven and a half-minute rant about the hygiene and breeding habits surrounding rodentfolk has been cut from this broadcast. Thank you for continuing to listen to our podcast "Ask The Bellhunters", Where we will continue to take your questions and answer them to the best of our abilities.'

- Written by Dawn Hunter-Bellwether, and approved by Dawn and Vernon Hunter-Bellwether.

Ask Vanna; Do you love Milk?

 

Vanna: About as much as anyone else I guess...I....drank a lot more when I was a kitten.

Zach: Well, most pups do...they've been pushin' milk hard since the nineties. *Chuckles* It was practically propaganda...

Vernon: Well they had just come off the eighties, where anti-drug propaganda was king. *Laughs* Not that I'm defendin' drugs er' nothin', but the anti-drug stuff was almost comically with how ham-pawed it was.

Vanna: I think cats are more known for having an affinity for milk for some reason though...even the "Got Milk" ads featured more feline folk than other mammals, though I think the stereotype is older than that...

Zach: Yeah, I think the cats love milk thang goes back...almost as far as the whole rabbits and carrots thang...so I'm guessin'...maybe cartoons?

Dawn: Hmm...*Looking over phone* It seems Bindian Tigers were some of the first mammals to actively trade bovine folk for milk. This was apparently because due to issues with malnutrition at the time, along with Tigresses generally having more kittens than available milk during that period, they had to seek out supplementary dairy for their kittens. Sometime after that, adults also began to drink the excess milk, and it became a staple drink...

Vanna: I honestly didn't know that...

Vernon: That makes sense...I think Norwulves did the same with goats and sheep. *Chuckles* Cause the Norwulves often had more pups than nipples to go around...though it didn't become associated with us in the same way.

Dawn: *Still reading* When the New Pridelinds made Contact with Bindia, Milk became popular among the royal lions in Great Kitten, and eventually filtered down to the general masses. This would eventually lead to the creation and popularization of the Yule favorite, Eggnog...

Zach: Aww, you love eggnog don'tcha Kitten...

Vanna: *Winces* Yeah...I do...

Ulric: Pfft...I don't. It's like you guys said, that milk stuff is propaganda. And I don't consume propaganda.

Vernon: That's why y'all got osteoporosis. 

Zach: And why Honey's gotta put Calcium supplements in yer food...

Ulric: HONEY DOES WHAT?!

Ask Dom and Kodi; Yettisburg Reenactment

 

Ask Dom and Kodi; Play Lightsabers

 

Runner up Sam Hain Costumes!

 

Here's a follow up to last week's Belated Sam Hain post to keep the spooky fun going for just a little longer. I thought up some good costume/character combos to take a stab at and show off for you guys...naturally I picked a sort of random scattershot of characters based on those ideas because...well if I wanted to dress up the entire cast this would take till the new year.

So I picked my favorite ideas, and put the pen to the tablet to show them off to you.

First we have Giselle, who I was torn on. The first and obvious idea was Farigiraf, the new pokemon evo for Girafarig. But literally, everybody is doing that to their giraffe characters, so I decided to save that for next year. I have to credit Elite Shade for the 'Siren Head' idea, as they featured that as Giselle's costume in the "Found Sam Hain Special" which you can read at the link below.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13128859/34/Found

Give it a read, it's adorable! 

I also had the idea for a Mommy Long Legs Costume from Poppy's Playtime as a good pairing for the spindly and long Giselle, though I'm not condoning the game maker's practices. I just like Mommy Long Leg's design and thought it was fitting. So I decided to show off both ideas.

Next, and this one has been a long time coming, it's Ulric as Dale Gribble from King of the Hill! I must say, I do take some elements of Ulric's base character from Dale...usually more of Ully's extreme behaviors, so it was natural I'd want to revisit that connection in a Sam Hain costume. I imagine Ully feels Dale Growlbble is probably the smartest character on that show, and misses the comedy of it.

For this next costume idea, I had the thought of using a costume before I had a character for it. When I considered Lady Demtrescue from Resident Evil 8, it was between Ada and Vanna as they were both big gals. However, when it came down to personality, I imagine Ada could better pull it off, and so the choice was made.

Last we got Gus and Melly rocking Geralt and Yennifer from the Witcher series, which...I mean I feel it just perfectly suits the pair in terms of interests, I think this is actually my favorite of the costume sets, which is funny because it was a last minute add. Still, Gus and Melly being a happy dorky couple is adorable.

Don't forget to check out Elite Shade's Sam Hain special of FOUND! 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13128859/34/Found

Seriously it's awesome! See you next week with a return to the normal ask format.

-Wasty

Ask Special Collection; The Hunter Pack; the next generation Pt 3

 A new day, a new sheet, this time covering Xavier and Ulric's family units. Yes, even Ulric gets to be a Dad, although who's raising who is questionable. Thankfully Honey's there to keep him wrangled. Anyway...

Xavier, Malcolm and Elizabeth;

So we've already seen Elizabeth Hunter (Maiden name Meypole) in the 20 years later ask set. As an adult she is an accomplished violinist, and plays in a big orchestra. Which one? I haven't figured that bit out yet. Naturally, her love of the violin was something she carried with her as a kit, the instrument acting as sort of...Well, the rawest way she can express her emotions and speak from the soul.

Xavier and Malcolm first come into contact with her when she's about seven years old, as Xavier takes on a family court case involving Elizabeth's mother. In a similar fashion to what the 'emergency trio' suffered through, Elizabeth's mother was also a damaged individual. Though whereas the hyena pups birth mom was crippled by her cultural beliefs, Elizabeth's Mom had deep mental issues that always kept her on the verge of being institutionalized. Elizabeth was also with her birth mother a lot longer than Yuri's boys, which subjected her to abuse for several years. The abuse running the gamut from mental to physical. This abuse would eventually culminate with Elizabeth's Mom trying to burn down the house with Elizabeth locked inside, which became the catalyst for the court case. The fire leaves Elizabeth with severe burns on her face, the left-hand side of her torso, and arm down to her paw. (Might be hard to make them out on the sketch as everything is...well sketchy.)

During the trial, Xavier gets to know the sweet, shy, and polite skunk girl, and grows close to her, each night returning home and blathering on and on to Malcolm about the poor girl whose plight really moved him. Despite having never met her personally, Malcolm is the first to suggest they make the move to adopt her once the trial ends, and keep the poor girl out of the system. And after a lengthy discussion, the pair agree to take the dive and become parents. Naturally, Elizabeth is thrilled when Xavier and Malcolm ask her to be their daughter, and the adoption goes off without a hitch.

Already shy, Elizabeth has issues with self-confidence which were only worsened by her burn scars. Early on in her time being adopted into the San Fransisgoat Hunter Pack she dresses rather frumpy, and with heavy coverage even in the summer. Her outfit of choice usually includes an oversized hoodie and fingerless gloves to cover as much of her burns as possible when going to school or being forced to be outside. She only feels...sort of comfortable being exposed among her adoptive parents, and even then she still reflexively tries to cover her face on occasion, usually when caught by surprise or off-guard.

Even before being adopted, she loved classical music, specifically pieces featuring the violin. And so, noting that, Xavier and Malcolm buy Elizabeth a violin of her own for her first birthday with them, as well as payout for private lessons in order for her to learn how to play. This is something not only Elizabeth delights in, but takes to with gusto. Mastering the instrument by her teenage years and going so far as to compose a myriad of her own deeply personal violin pieces. With encouragement from Malc and Xav, she's able to overcome her shyness and self-confidence issues and go on to play in school recitals, plays, and eventually concert halls.

Regarding Elizabeth and Omari;

Despite Piper being a pain in the ass, and picking on her as she does with most of the other cousins, Elizabeth really bonds with the emergency trio, and specifically Omari. The similar circumstances involving their abusive birth mothers, and how that affected them saw them become closer than they were to some of their other cousins. But more than anyone else out of the trio, it was Omari who'd spend most of the time talking to her. He would talk about his interests, his growing appreciation for science and medicine, and his insecurities. And Elizabeth would share her own insecurities, her love of music, and even a few of her private violin concertos just for him. This closeness led to the two cousins catching feelings for each other going into their teenage years, which would eventually bloom into full-on love in their early adulthoods. While Yuri protested the two getting together due to being cousins, despite not being blood-related, Xavier and Malcolm were as always very supportive and encouraging.

Ulric, Honey and Arturo;

Initially, I had planned against giving Ully and Honey any pups, as Ully was too irresponsible, and Honey wasn't really one for 'traditional family structure'. I hadn't even planned for the pair to get tithed or married, but rather simply be monogamous partners with at most a couple's contract or whatever I called it in LAW where the two are recognized as legally sharing resources. And while I intended to keep that the case, the idea of them raising a pup kept coming back to me...tickling the back of my skull until Arturo began to form.

Arturo is a pudgy, sensitive kid who's generally very open to weird ideas. He looks up to his adopted Mom and Dad with a sort of awe and wonder, much in the same way Wyatt looks up to Vanna and Zach. No one is cooler than his parents, and that's especially true when it comes to his oddball father. In terms of Ully and Arturo's relationship, I imagined it to be very similar to Dale Gribble and Joseph from King of the Hill. (You can guess who's who in that connection) With young Arturo looking up to his Dad despite his obvious craziness and wild and baseless theories. That said, with Ully being...well Ully, he's not exactly A-grade father material when it comes to safety and setting boundaries. Naturally, this puts Honey in a weird position where she's almost raising two kits rather than one. That said, despite Honey acting as the 'buzzkill' and authoritarian in the family unit, Arturo doesn't love his mom any less than his crazy Dad.

Young Arturo's summers growing up are filled with all sorts of wacky escapades involving his Pa, including annual Catsquatch hunts, ghost hunting in spooky locations, and weird and irresponsible science experiments, but as an adult, those become treasured memories. And despite all that would have been working against him, Arturo grows up to be a kind, intelligent and well-adjusted male who ends up becoming a popular Animalian and Zootopian history teacher at the Zootopian University. While he has largely grown out and away from taking everything his father taught him as gospel, the lessons instilled in him by Ully and Honey fueled a thirst for history and seeking truth. And while his lesson don't cover topics like 'Catsquatch' or 'ancient aliens', he's always open to hearing folks talk about such topics. And he also makes sure to allocate some vacation time to go 'catsquatch' hunting with his parents every summer.

Onward to page four!

-Wasty

Ask the Ruminerds + Ulric; The Mawndella Catalogue

 Gus: Oh, the Mawndella Catalogue? That's one of my favorite ARGs. That 'alternates' art, though kinda basic, is also super visceral and unnerving. And I love anything told through the lense of analog horror.

Joel: Ohh yeah, like Local 58, or Gemewni Home entertainment...they have that low-budget public access tv feel that feels terrifyingly accurate to pre-broadband television broadcasts.

Dawn: Ooh Local 58...that video 'contingency' still gives me chills to think about.

Vernon: Same here...though gotta give an honorable mention to Mystery Flesh pit National Park. The amount o' world buildin' in that ARG is just...I mean it feels like it was a real place.

Broomie: Would you say that Kanine Pixels Backrooms stuff is Analogue horror? I mean, it is an ARG...

Gus: I'd say so, the way it's filmed very much feels like internal recordings or corporate presentations.

Vernon: As fer Ully's take on thangs...I should have y'all know that Honey kinda...screens that stuff to keep Ully's imagination on a leash. Even on his meds he...can still have trouble distinguishin' fantasy from reality. So them ARGs are really built to mess with a mind like his. I think the last thing he actually managed to catch was that story about the Inifinite Iflea, and he took that so seriously he got arrested fer trespassin' cause he tried to camp in one overnight hopin' he'd make the jump.

Dawn: Oh yeah, I remember that...are we...still keeping that one from Dori and Auddey?

Vernon: Honey handled it, so I don't see what draggin' Ma and Pa into it would do at this point only than frustrate everyone involved. Sides', I'm sure Ully's got in plenty more troublesome situations they don't know about...er me for that matter...and I'd prefer not to know...*Chuckles*

Wasty: As an author's aside, I'm a analog horror junkie. I'd say that Local 58 is my personal favorite, although it rarely updates so Gemini Home Entertainment is rapidly crawling up to dethrone it. Mystery Flesh pit's ARG is also another one high up on my list of personal favorites. I'm gonna embed some videos I really love from some of these for those who have never seen, just to get an idea.

Local 58 -Contingency

Gemini Home Entertainment - Home Invasion

Mystery Flesh Pit EAS

Mandela Catalogue - Overthrone

The Backrooms - Pitfalls

Those are probably my personal faves, and I hope you guys like 'em too.

Ask Ulric and Honey; Tupacca and Dead Celebrities

 

Ulric: Me and Honey argue about this one all the time! Becaus-

Honey: Because I think sometimes famous mammals just die, and the general public wants them to be alive so badly they make up theories and make fake footage to try to prove they are alive somewhere.

Ulric: Pft...that's such a reductive way of looking at things, especially if you don't know what I know!

Honey: Tell them what you know then genius.

Ulric: Okay, so...my running theory here is that really famous and important mammals, like Tupacca, JFK, Elviss, Micheal Jackleson, all of them, they're being entered into some sort of program to preserve their consciousness, right? So the government-

Honey: Which government now?

Ulric: The one world government! The one that secretly controls everything, right? So the government is stockpiling these guys DNA and consciousness, i.e. souls, in order to replicate them upon the date of their death!

Honey: Explain replicate.

Ulric: They clone them! Raise them under new names and identities, and when they reach a prime age, their consciousness, i.e. soul is put back into them! They've got a whole school full of these clones in a secret town somewhere in Cowlifornia, just waiting to be activated.

Honey: Once again, Clone High was a cartoon Ully...a CARTOON!

Ulric: It was a blatant signal of truth! Blaring like a beacon in the night! Like lupa over a field of snow! They were rubbing in our faces what they were actually doing, muddying the waters by making the concept seem comical!

Honey: It was funny...especially the Joan of Bark and Abe Lincowln stuff...

Ulric: SEE!

Honey: Okay, well even so...if tupacca was cloned...and was a literal cria for like...two decades, then how would he supposedly be releasing music?

Ulric: Ah, well see that touches on the other part of my theory. Basically, those consciousness I mentioned early are not inert, or in stasis. They are all on individual computers where they can continue to produce content. 

Honey: So your theory is that...Tupacca is currently an AI that records and releases new records?

Ulric: Well, he doesn't release them, his lable does...I mean...it makes the most sense...to me anyway.

Honey: Of course it does honey, of course it does.

Ask Honey and Ada: The Bigger Badass?

 

FOUND AU Ask; Marcus' Journey

 

Dorian: I mean, it was honestly kinda...hard to take in at first, y'all know?

Yuri: Is that because it sounds like the kind of story Ully would tell?

Ulric: Make fun all you want, but I was right about Huumons! Just like I was right about Moira Blackwool!

Yuri: Even a broken clock is right twice a day...

Dorian: Well unlike one of Ully's...er...theory...I mean, the proof was in Marcus' even bein' here in the first place. But to think there are these hidden cities out there, all over Animalia, operatin' in secret cause their afraid of us...I mean...it's enough to make yer head spin on it's own.

Audrey: Then y'all have everythin' the poor boy went through in general. What his father did...in front of all them folks. And him bein' on that ship in the middle of that nasty squall while they were bein' attacked. It's a wonder he survived at all, the poor dear.

Zach: He's a strong pup. Endurin' as much as he has at his age...I'm just happy Me and my kitten have been able to help him heal, to be there for him and get to watch him start to blossom after dealin' with all that mess.

Vanna: Me too Goofball.

Dawn: It's just...it's still so mind-blowing to think all that happened, right under the noses of some of the most technically advanced nations in Animalia. To think they've been able to hide for this long.

Vernon: Had it not come from Marcus himself, I woulda chalked up the tale to somethin' out of one of Ully's books like Yuri said. It seemed impossible.

Xavier: Says the mate of the ewe who gave birth to the first pred-prey hybrid in over 300 years.

Vernon: I know, I know...but still...It's just wild.

Trenton: I just wish the boy coulda' found his way here through better circumstances...then again, I suppose had things been better in his home city, he wouldn't of had to run off...

Audrey: Well, what matters is that Marcus has a home now. A home and life he deserves, especially after all he's been through.

 

Gus: Amplify. *shakes head* definitely amplify.

Vernon: Yeah, them two seem to draw out the worst aspects of one another when set in the same room.

Gus: I always took Ulric for a harmless goof, right?

Vernon: He is.

Gus: I know, but when he had the three of us up on the school's roof that night, I mean...I was already nervous. It was the most drastic thing he'd ever done. So I was...less certain I had him pegged right. But Joel being Joel...he just couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Broomie: Joel started egging him on, and playing into his delusions and just...amping him up to the point where he was raving like a mad dog.

Gus: Started raving? He was raving like a mad dog when he got us up there.

Broomie: Okay, fine. A madder dog then.

Gus: I remember when Joel started egging him to throw him off the roof. Remember that Broomie?

Broomie: How could I forget? Sweet Sawgrass...He was daring him. Telling him he wouldn't do it. Even called him a pussy.

Vernon: Didn't y'all tell me that Joel said once Ully threw him, he'd fly? Somethin' like that?

Gus: Apparently the type of alien your brother thought he was could fly somehow? Something about fake wool hiding air sacks in his neck? It was hard to understand, by that point Joel had him worked up to the point where all his words were bleeding together. But Joel said that once he flew back up, he would melt Ulric's brain with his laser vision.

Vernon:*Shakes Head* Lamb Sakes...

Gus: *Chuckles* Lamb Sakes?

Vernon: Sorry, the misses vocabulary is startin' to bleed into mine. *Chuckles*

Broomie: At least you had the brilliant idea of convincing Ulric to chloroform Joel again. For his own protection of course...I was too busy freaking out to manage to keep my cool like that.

Gus: Yeah, Joel still act like that was some sort of great betrayl on my part. *Snorts* It's like 'Dude, you were toying with a mentally unstable persons already fragile psyche!” It's like, did he want him to kill us?

Vernon: Ully would never do that.

Gus: Under normal circumstances, sure. But... I mean you didn't see the look in his eyes that night Vern. While Joel was teasing him. There was a moment there...I was sure we were going off the roof, one after the other.

Vernon:...Have I mentioned lately how grateful my family was that y'all didn't press charges?

Gus: Not enough times.

Ask Ulric; Precious Bodily Fluids

 

Honey: Ully is...sort of past that now. I say sort of because he's...well...he's 'solved' the problem in his own 'unique way'.

Ulric: See, I know Honey is on my side. So I know she doesn't mean to steal my essence...

Honey: Uh-huh...

Ulric: It's just an unfortunate side effect of her attempts to properly mind meld with me...mind meld, geeze you guys probably don't understand.

Honey: Ever see Star Trot? The Volkcan mind meld thing? He thinks it's like that.

Ulric: I know it's like that! Except instead of a psychic connection, it's a physical one...that...feels...really...like really really good.

Honey: *Chuckles* I'll say...

Ulric: So while it give us the power to share memories and ideas through rut-melding, it still has the side effect of draining my vitality.

Honey: And calming him down significantly.

Ulric: Exactly! It' dulls my edge! Like those meds work forces me to take! But thankfully with the help of online supplements and caffeine I've been able to counteract the drain, making me even more of a force to be reckoned with.

Honey: It's mostly coffee and some sort of...weird Pandese 'vitamins' that...I'm not entirely trustworthy of. I mean, it says ground up dinosaur bones are a key ingredient in it, and-.”

Ulric: Exactly! It has the essence of the most powerful and vital creatures to ever walk Animalia! It makes me a sexual tyrannosaur!

Honey: Not that he needed help in that department anyway *Giggles* Ully's got stamina for days...

Ulric: The lizard creatures would never expect me to use the DNA of their very own ancestors against them. Clever, clever Ully...

Honey: Clever indeed...

Ask Dorian; Keep your boy out of my Feilds!

 

    

Howdy Beau,

Let me start out by apologizing for all the...er...craziness Ulric has brought down on your pumpkin patch over the years. I don't know exactly why he seems to favor stalking your pumpkin patch over our own, as I...well I've never been able to get a sensible answer out of the boy. To be honest, I don't understand a lot about why my boy does what he does aside from blaming his medical condition. I was hoping that when he moved out years ago to pursue his work in DC, this wouldn't really be an issue anymore. I figured he would have put that fixation with whatever 'creature' he thinks lives under your fields well and truly behind him as he moved on to what I hoped was bigger and better things. The last thing I expected him to go an use this years Sam Hain Scare visit to...er 'settle an old score' as he put it. Nor did I expect his new lady friend to actually indulge his delusions this time around, considering for the most part she seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

Naturally I'll pay for any and all damages the boy did. You already have my address so you can send the bill. As for the...emotional trauma suffered by all them young pups seeing him streaking through your fields, well...I can only offer my sincerest apologies. Know that going forward, should Ulric choose to visit our home during Harvest Season, he will not be allowed to leave the house without an escort who will actively reign him in. Audrey has promised she make sure of that, personally if she has to.

Happy Sam Hain Scare,

Sheriff Dorian Everett Hunter

P.S. In the unlikely event that Ully manages to give us the slip next year, I recommend setting up some scare sheep in your fields. The boy is somewhat petrified of sheep-folk, and tends to go out of his way to avoid them. Just ask my daughter-in-law, she can vouch for it working.

 

Ask Dawn and Vern; Paige's birthday and Ulric

 

Vernon: We ain't to worried. I don't know iffin' we've mentioned this before, but Sam Hain has sorta...the opposite affect on Ully one would expect.

Dawn: You mean he's normal for one night? *Giggles*

Vernon: Naw, just crazy in a different way. Y'see Ully takes Sam Hain very seriously, at least in terms of the old folklore. I suppose most of y'all know this by now, but most of the cultures and religions that made Sam Hain a thang celebrated it purty differently than how we do now.

Dawn: In the caprid religions, Sam hain represented the time in which the veil between the land of the dead and the land of the living was at it's thinnest. The costumes and treats were a way to confuse and appease the spirits that crossed over to torment the living.

Vernon: The costumes made it so that the bad souls from the other side couldn't tell live mammals and their own kind apart, which kept 'em from bein' stolen away to the other side of the veil.

Dawn: And the treats were sort of an offering to appease those mischievous spirits, and keep them from tormenting the living.

Vernon: Naturally...Ully takes that all very seriously. And while he's usually the type to be real interested in ghost huntin' he...well...how he put it when he said it to me was, 'I'm a marked mammal when dealin' with spirits. Goin' out on Sam Hain for me would be as stupid as taking on the entirety of Zootopia's Reserve Army alone, completely naked with nothing but a spoon to defend yourself.”

Dawn: Pft...*Snickers* That doesn't sound like a stretch for Ulric I think. At least the naked part.

Vernon: Honey's been tryin' to lure him out since she took up datin' him, tryin' to assure that idjit that' it's just a pup's holiday, and it'll be fine, but so far it hasn't worked.

Dawn: I just don't get why he can't at least hand out candy for the lambs.

Vernon: To him, that's riskin' invitin' a demon into yer home. *Chuckles* Nope, it's just gonna be a good twenty fer hours of him locked in his home, with all the lights off, hidin' under that ol' security blanket of his...

Dawn: S-Security blanket? *Snickers* Really?

Vernon: Some ol' habits die hard. *Chuckles*

Ulric and Honey's 'Humon' Analysis (Found AU)

WT: This is a post related to Elite Shade’s BellHunterverse AU “Found”. Check it out on Fanfiction.net and Archive of our own.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13128859/1/Found

-

Honey: Well, if you want my take-

Ulric: The wrong take.

Honey: *Chuckles* Hey my take is the end result of doing a bunch of research, looking through archaeological and paleontological records and scouring ancient folklore from across Animalia to try to pinpoint a proper origin point for the species! Whereas your 'take' is almost nothing but baseless conjecture!

Ulric: *Huffs* Baseless conjecture. Surely when you were looking at some of that ancient folklore and depictions of these 'humons', you saw the depictions of those 'unknown crafts'? And what about all the sheep turning up in the same passages as these humons?

Honey: First off, those 'crafts' are hieroglyphic separators. Second-

Ulric: That's just what 'they' want you to think!

Honey: *Sigh* Let me just state my case, alright?

Ulric: Fine.

Honey: Based on everything I could scrounge up, to me it looks like these 'humon's' were a species that preceded the “mammalian explosion' during the previous ice age. From what I can gather, I believe they split from the great ape family and evolved much more slowly than mammals did. This of course, would make them rather easy pickings during the 'great mammalian explosion', as out more intelligent ancestors presumably hunted and chased a great many of them out of their habitats as they expanded and eventually drove them into hiding. Of course, since this preceded written language for most species of mammal, accounts of the humons quickly faded into little more than folklore without mammals to see them first pawed. A cryptid up there with the likes of the Loch Neighs Monster and CatSquatch. Any rare sighting post that time was relegated to hoaxes and fairy tales. Of course, how they managed to eke out a semi-modern existence in terms of cultural development without ever revealing themselves still has me scratching my head. I mean, how did they manage to hide their cities for so long?

Ulric: If I may?

Honey: You're going to say it anyway, so...

Ulric: First off, the 'humons' are not related to the great apes. I mean, look at Marcus and Lilly! You can see the sheepish bone structure, and their hide is the exact same pink tint that most sheep's are under their wool!

Honey: I really don't see the bone structure thing. And I mean, lots of mammal's have pink hides under their fur. What exactly are you getting at?

Ulric: 'Humons' we're clearly created in a lab by sheep, using a portion of their DNA as the base and combining it with several other species to create some sort of...' super mammal' foot soldier, ordered to lie in wait until the time is right to strike and help them finally take of all of Animalia!

Honey: Are you sure that's what happened, and not a nightmare you had?

Ulric: If they can hide their cities, they must have hyper-advanced technology! And the fact that they could hide themselves for this long among us I mean, who's to say the 'sheep overlords' aren't hiding in a moon city!? HA! I used to get laughed at for that one! But not so funny now is it!?

Honey: While I'll admit I'm not sure how they've managed to stay hidden for so long...I mean, that boat Marcus came in was about as advanced as stuff from the early last century. And based on his descriptions...I mean it seems like they are behind us by a good century in terms of technology. I really can't imagine them being a real threat to us. If they tried anything now, it would just be the first Zootopian's versus the native wolves all over again.

Ulric: Well if Dad and my brother would let me actually investigate that boat I could find the cloaking mechanism that is clearly hiding its true form! Then we could actually start reverse engineering and preparing for the coming war!

Honey: *Shakes her head, planting a soft kiss on Ulric's forehead that causes the wolf to recoil.* Oh, my sweet Ully, You are lucky you are so cute...*coughs* and hung...