Found Ask; Kartakkan Aristocracy Voice

 

Zach: Well...it doesn't happen too often...but...it does happen...sorta like a switch goes off in the boy's brain without him even realizin'...sorta like to opposite of Xavier's fancy legal voice...

Xavier: What about my legal voice?

Zach: Well, it ain't exactly a secret that y'all have gone well and far out of yer way to beat back that North Meadowland's drawl.

Xavier: This is true, but it's a proven fact that having a 'drawl' sort of paints an expectation of you...

Malcolm: That yer a country dullard?

Xavier: *Sweats slightly* I-I mean, I know it's not true, but you know how mammals tend to be...and with being a wolf it can be hard to get mammals to take you seriously as is. 

Malcolm: No need to get flustered Fluffybuns...I know that drawl discrimination all too well...I'm just glad I wasn't aimin' fer a job that required soundin' smart or I'd be tryin' to paddle up the river o' life without an oar like 'ol Vernon was with architecture. *Chuckles*

Zach: Yer also real book smart, you were since y'all were a pup. And that's only gotten...well more pronounced with yer career choice when it comes to how you talk...

Xavier: Right...

Zach: But every so often, when y'all get flustered er' upset, that Meadowland's drawl just comes right outta left field, like a sucker punch. 

Malcolm: *Snickers* It's true! It's the cutest thang! One minute it's all "I'm certain I'll be able to handle a task as simple as mixing together a bowl of fresh oatmeal and fruit." *Malcolm puffs his chest, doing his best 'Xavier impression'*. Then a few minutes later he's all like "I can't do nothin' right! It's dang oatmeal!! Sweet Sawgrass! Why can't a cook worth a damn!?" *Laughs*

Xavier: *Adjusts his spectacles, looking rather uncomfortable* Well...I-I'm not proud of it, but I won't deny it I suppose. As I've said before, you can take the wolf out of the North Meadowlands, but you never quite can get the North Meadowlands out of the wolf...*Sighs* No matter how hard you try. *Shakes head*

Malcolm: *Kisses the side of Xavier's muzzle* Aww, no need to get pouty Darlin'...like I said, it's real cute...but so's yer fancy talk...

Xavier: Thanks dear...still, where was this going Zach?

Zach: Well, the whole reason I mentioned it, is 'cause Marcus has the opposite problem...slowly but surely the boy's been leanin' into the drawl more and more...but iffin' he gets worked up...usually when dealin' with bullies er' what not, the fancy talk and insults come out. *Chuckles*

Xavier: My, my, really?

Zach: *nods*, Not that he tries to tamp it down in those situations I think...it's more that he seems to go into a...sorta 'negotiator' er...' mediator' mode. Like it's second nature fer him to try and...talk folks into a peace agreement when things get sketchy...

Xavier: Well, sounds like your son could be looking at a very prosperous career as a police negotiator...*Chuckles* At least, I'm sure that's how our father feels about it...

Zach: *Laughs* Oh don't let Pa here y'all or he'll start all over again...Don't get me wrong, he ain't pressurin' Marcus, but he will absolutely talk my ear off about that 'potential'. *Shakes Head* I'm always like 'Pa, just let the boy enjoy his lil' band fer a few more years before he starts considerin' what he really wants to do...' We're still tryin' to train him outta doin' constant chores outta habit.

Xavier: *Chuckles* Old habits die hard I suppose...

Vanna: *Pulls up in squad car with her parents in tow.* Hello everyone...did we miss anything?

Zach: Ah, Kitten! *Zach leans up to kiss Vanna's cheek.* Y'all arrived just in time, we was anserin' one of them questions Dawn sends 'er way from time to time...lotta stuff about Marcus.

Vanna: Oh? Nothing too personal I hope? You do know some of his friends listen to Dawn and Vernon's couples podcast...even if they are probably a bit too young for it...Aiko I'm almost positive is an avid listener.

Zach: *Gives Vanna a serious stare* Darlin', y'all know I would never embarrass my boy in public!

Vanna: *Crosses her arms* That's he's aware of *Mutters quietly*

Zach: *Chuckles* Anyway, yeah Ma's method o' healin'....either when it comes to herself, er' the rest of us, involves serious hug therapy...

Vanna: *Reads Question* It wasn't quite two hours...but near enough *Vanna Smirks* Not that my own parents are much better...

Lucero: And what's wrong with showing our grand kitten affection? The Felidea family is a passionate pack, we wear our hearts on our sleeves! *Laughs boisterously.*

Vanna: *Grimaces slightly* 

Pascha: *Gives her daughter a gentle hug* You can still have a big heart without being the best at expressing it sweetie, you know that...

Vanna: *Tries to hide a soft smirk.* I-I know Mom...

Lucero: That said, learning of what Marcus went through, I mean, we certainly went through the motions in a similar fashion to the Hunters...I know I certainly gave the boy a long, tight hug...

Pascha: And nearly broke his ribs in the process! *Pascha Scolds* 

Lucero: S-sorry my Love...I just...I was very emotionally moved at the time...

Pascha: *Chuckles* I know, I know...just try to be mindful that most of our immediate family is not equipped to handle the full strength of a tiger, especially one as virile as you are...lest I remind you of Zach's pelvic fracture?

Vanna: M-MOM! *Vanna looks to Zach in horror, blushing intensely*

Zach: *Eyes wide in shock and horror.* KITTEN!, Y'all TOLD HER!?

Xavier: *Chuckles* Well, well...and here I was led to believe pelvic fractures were purely Wade's territory...This is almost as delightful as when we found out about those bite wounds and rope burns Yuri needed to have treated.

Vanna: *Flustered* I 'confided' in my mother! I-I'm sorry Goofball! I was just...I was terrified I really hurt you, a-and I couldn't talk to Mother Hunter about it...

Zach: *Whines* Great, now the whole world will know!

Vanna: *Trying to calm her mate* W-we can ask Dawn to redact that part...it's not like it's live...

Lucero: Relax Zach, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Loving a tiger is an intense sort of love, even between tigers...*Chuckles Knowingly* You aren't the only one who's sprained a hip during heat season...I should know, I'm a veteran.

Pascha: *Swats at Lucero Playfully* Oh Hush now! Don't you start bragging...

Lucero: And why not!? I wear those injuries with pride, a show of my love for my mate! *Chuckles* Which brings me around to my point about Marcus.

Zach: This!? How does this conversation lead y'all to our boy?

Lucero: Marcus' own scars...although I suppose calling for him to take pride in them might be...I'm not sure how tactful one could consider it. But those marks, they were caused by him standing up to his father, standing up for his people. From such a small boy, his courage would make even my father stand back in awe... This is why I say Marcus is a true tiger, he is one that has earned his stripes. And I suppose in that way it has changed how we interact with him...or how I do...because I don't just see my grandkitten, I see a mammal who is truly capable of doing great things. Beyond my grandfather's bias, he is truly a remarkable boy, and he will grow into a remarkable young tiger...er...human...

Pascha: *Sidles up to her husband, placing an affection paw on his chest* I could not have said it better myself my Love...and we are proud to be Marcus' grandparents.

Vanna: *Wraps an arm around Zach, the two exchanging warm smiles*

Zach: T-thanks you too...I'm sure Marcus would love to hear that...

Vanna: We're proud of him too....every day...*Chuffs warmly*

Malcolm: *Looks to Xavier, ears sagging slightly, his eyes puppy dog wide* Xaaavey....

Xavier: Wha-? Oh no...*Xavier's expression flattens* Let me guess...

Malcolm: I WAAANT ONE! *Whines, gripping Xavier's now crossed arms*

Xavier: *Sighs* Well, here's a discussion I wasn't looking to have today...*chuckles*

Ask Xavier; Fox and Weasel Discrimination

 

Xavier: I mean, I do see it, though the lion's share of those cases generally goes to my associate Eric Goldram. He sort of specializes in civil cases surrounding species discrimination, Whereas my specialty is more in family law. Pup custody, Pup Protective services, Emancipation, those sorts of cases. That's not to say I don't get non-familial discrimination cases, but I don't feel I get enough to truly weigh in...

Eric: If I may chime in...?

Xavier: By all means. Please.

Eric: It's not great. I imagine it's better in Zootopia...but the rest of the civilized mammalian world is still catching up. We aren't just talking mammals with totally maligned reputations, such as foxes and weasels. We're talking wolves, hyenas, and sheep. Rodents especially have a lot of discrimination issues here. I believe there's still a lot of bad blood there between those mammals who've settled out here from Roarope in regards to that. I don't think there's a week that goes by at our firm where a mammal doesn't show up at our firm seeking litigation over being denied entry to a business due to their species. And that's in San Francisgoat! One of the most progressive cities in the North Mammalian Union!

Malcolm: I feel I'd have to bother my sister-in-law in regards to 'just how much better' discrimination in Zootopia is versus San Francisgoat. Considering her former position in politics, she'd probably have the greatest knowledge about the sort of discrimination that happens there on a daily basis.

Eric: *adjusts glasses* I take it you're speaking about Miss Bellwether...*Ahem* I mean Miss Hunter-Bellwether?

Xavier: Who else could I mean? *Chuckles*

Eric: Well, considering she was a long-term victim of workplace discrimination if I recall the case correctly, perhaps you're on to something. Still, Zootopia is at least built with as many mammals in mind as possible. That alone still remains unique to Zootopia, as even here we don't have dedicated places for Rodents to live and feel safe despite their size...And most businesses can't fit any form of megafauna inside comfortably.

Xavier: Unfortunately...Even Malcolm's Diner isn't built for any mammal above eight feet tall, and it's been too prohibitively expensive to do something like that with how few Megafauna live in San Francisgoat.

Eric: And it's that fact I think that sort of allows species discrimination to sort of....proliferate in the loopholes of the laws and demographics of San Fran...*Ahem* Not that I'm implying Malcolm's trying to discriminate. I'm merely saying bad actors who hold discriminatory views like to latch on to what seems like a reasonable argument merely to mask their speciesm. Like not hiring a bunny to do police work because 'oh, they're so small on average it would put us in a position where we'd stand to be more liable for a lawsuit should they get hurt.', when in reality not only would the state handle such a case, but there are places in the city a smaller officer could be assigned and stand on equal footing with the citizenry size wise. Or "We can't fire a fox because everything in our firm is sized for six-foot mammals, and it would prove too costly to remodel it all for one fox." Though I imagine even the smallest mom-and-pop shop could at the very least have a step ladder present for shorter mammals...but I digress, as even those arguments could be made on good faith, but just ignorance...it's just that bigotry can hide among them too.

Xavier: That's why we're here I suppose, to sift through the smokescreen to find the truth. That said...while I don't see nearly as many purely discriminatory cases as Eric does...it's something that permeates in family court, at least to a degree. Basically, I get to see some of the fallout of that sort of discrimination. It just so happens a lot of Pup protective Services cases tend to involve 'maligned species families' such as Weasels and Foxes. Those cases are quite...muddy...in terms of dealing with.

Eric: Because you can't be sure if the state is unjustly persecuting a family harder because they're foxes, if the foxes are actually guilty of what they're being accused of and deserve to have their kits placed in foster care, and if their family is indeed struggling or in a bad way, how much of that has to do with the day in and day out discrimination that's made life rougher for them...

Xavier: It can be a real self-feeding cycle...and it can often be hard to make that call...but I suppose I'm not the judge in these situations anyway, I'm merely here to advocate for the families involved, and I do the best that I can with what my clients are willing to share with me. At the end of the day, I can only hope I've helped in some way.

Eric: I realize this...whole conversation probably doesn't paint San Francisgoat in the best of lighting. It is in fact a lovely place, where most of the time the citizens manage to get along quite well...like police, by virtue of being lawyers we just tend to see the worst aspects of society play out daily. It can really skew your perception of things...but San Francisgoat, while not Zootopia, is far from a third-world hellhole where discrimination is the law. But just like the mammals that build and live in them, no city is perfect.

Ask Special Collection; The Hunter Pack; the next generation Pt 3

 A new day, a new sheet, this time covering Xavier and Ulric's family units. Yes, even Ulric gets to be a Dad, although who's raising who is questionable. Thankfully Honey's there to keep him wrangled. Anyway...

Xavier, Malcolm and Elizabeth;

So we've already seen Elizabeth Hunter (Maiden name Meypole) in the 20 years later ask set. As an adult she is an accomplished violinist, and plays in a big orchestra. Which one? I haven't figured that bit out yet. Naturally, her love of the violin was something she carried with her as a kit, the instrument acting as sort of...Well, the rawest way she can express her emotions and speak from the soul.

Xavier and Malcolm first come into contact with her when she's about seven years old, as Xavier takes on a family court case involving Elizabeth's mother. In a similar fashion to what the 'emergency trio' suffered through, Elizabeth's mother was also a damaged individual. Though whereas the hyena pups birth mom was crippled by her cultural beliefs, Elizabeth's Mom had deep mental issues that always kept her on the verge of being institutionalized. Elizabeth was also with her birth mother a lot longer than Yuri's boys, which subjected her to abuse for several years. The abuse running the gamut from mental to physical. This abuse would eventually culminate with Elizabeth's Mom trying to burn down the house with Elizabeth locked inside, which became the catalyst for the court case. The fire leaves Elizabeth with severe burns on her face, the left-hand side of her torso, and arm down to her paw. (Might be hard to make them out on the sketch as everything is...well sketchy.)

During the trial, Xavier gets to know the sweet, shy, and polite skunk girl, and grows close to her, each night returning home and blathering on and on to Malcolm about the poor girl whose plight really moved him. Despite having never met her personally, Malcolm is the first to suggest they make the move to adopt her once the trial ends, and keep the poor girl out of the system. And after a lengthy discussion, the pair agree to take the dive and become parents. Naturally, Elizabeth is thrilled when Xavier and Malcolm ask her to be their daughter, and the adoption goes off without a hitch.

Already shy, Elizabeth has issues with self-confidence which were only worsened by her burn scars. Early on in her time being adopted into the San Fransisgoat Hunter Pack she dresses rather frumpy, and with heavy coverage even in the summer. Her outfit of choice usually includes an oversized hoodie and fingerless gloves to cover as much of her burns as possible when going to school or being forced to be outside. She only feels...sort of comfortable being exposed among her adoptive parents, and even then she still reflexively tries to cover her face on occasion, usually when caught by surprise or off-guard.

Even before being adopted, she loved classical music, specifically pieces featuring the violin. And so, noting that, Xavier and Malcolm buy Elizabeth a violin of her own for her first birthday with them, as well as payout for private lessons in order for her to learn how to play. This is something not only Elizabeth delights in, but takes to with gusto. Mastering the instrument by her teenage years and going so far as to compose a myriad of her own deeply personal violin pieces. With encouragement from Malc and Xav, she's able to overcome her shyness and self-confidence issues and go on to play in school recitals, plays, and eventually concert halls.

Regarding Elizabeth and Omari;

Despite Piper being a pain in the ass, and picking on her as she does with most of the other cousins, Elizabeth really bonds with the emergency trio, and specifically Omari. The similar circumstances involving their abusive birth mothers, and how that affected them saw them become closer than they were to some of their other cousins. But more than anyone else out of the trio, it was Omari who'd spend most of the time talking to her. He would talk about his interests, his growing appreciation for science and medicine, and his insecurities. And Elizabeth would share her own insecurities, her love of music, and even a few of her private violin concertos just for him. This closeness led to the two cousins catching feelings for each other going into their teenage years, which would eventually bloom into full-on love in their early adulthoods. While Yuri protested the two getting together due to being cousins, despite not being blood-related, Xavier and Malcolm were as always very supportive and encouraging.

Ulric, Honey and Arturo;

Initially, I had planned against giving Ully and Honey any pups, as Ully was too irresponsible, and Honey wasn't really one for 'traditional family structure'. I hadn't even planned for the pair to get tithed or married, but rather simply be monogamous partners with at most a couple's contract or whatever I called it in LAW where the two are recognized as legally sharing resources. And while I intended to keep that the case, the idea of them raising a pup kept coming back to me...tickling the back of my skull until Arturo began to form.

Arturo is a pudgy, sensitive kid who's generally very open to weird ideas. He looks up to his adopted Mom and Dad with a sort of awe and wonder, much in the same way Wyatt looks up to Vanna and Zach. No one is cooler than his parents, and that's especially true when it comes to his oddball father. In terms of Ully and Arturo's relationship, I imagined it to be very similar to Dale Gribble and Joseph from King of the Hill. (You can guess who's who in that connection) With young Arturo looking up to his Dad despite his obvious craziness and wild and baseless theories. That said, with Ully being...well Ully, he's not exactly A-grade father material when it comes to safety and setting boundaries. Naturally, this puts Honey in a weird position where she's almost raising two kits rather than one. That said, despite Honey acting as the 'buzzkill' and authoritarian in the family unit, Arturo doesn't love his mom any less than his crazy Dad.

Young Arturo's summers growing up are filled with all sorts of wacky escapades involving his Pa, including annual Catsquatch hunts, ghost hunting in spooky locations, and weird and irresponsible science experiments, but as an adult, those become treasured memories. And despite all that would have been working against him, Arturo grows up to be a kind, intelligent and well-adjusted male who ends up becoming a popular Animalian and Zootopian history teacher at the Zootopian University. While he has largely grown out and away from taking everything his father taught him as gospel, the lessons instilled in him by Ully and Honey fueled a thirst for history and seeking truth. And while his lesson don't cover topics like 'Catsquatch' or 'ancient aliens', he's always open to hearing folks talk about such topics. And he also makes sure to allocate some vacation time to go 'catsquatch' hunting with his parents every summer.

Onward to page four!

-Wasty

Ask Malc and Xave; Helping pups with 'coming out'

 

Malcolm: Aw shoot, well we'd want our nephews, nieces, and adopted pups of our own to feel comfortable comin' to us for any sorta advice around those kinda issues. 

Xavier: So we plan to try our best to...well, to try and make it....to let them and their parents know that we're available to talk should there be any...difficulty arising around such subjects in the future. Though honestly, I don't imagine it would be too difficult for most of my brothers to handle...aside from perhaps Yuri, should one of their pups 'come out' so to speak. 

Malcolm: Yeah, I can't imagine Yuri would be the kind to take that too well...

Xavier: it would more than likely be an affront to his own masculinity somehow...or maybe he'd blame himself...but who knows, maybe he'll be totally accepting and surprise me.

Malcolm: Was yer Dad like that about yer comin' out?

Xavier: What, Dorian? No. Admittedly he was confused at first. I don't think he expected any of us to...bat for the other team. But once he realized it wasn't some passing confusion on my part, he embraced it fully. *Chuckles* I think that also prepared him for the rest of my brothers entering into 'crosser' relationships. What about your Dad?

Malcolm: *Chuckles* My Ma and Pa were totally fine....barely even phased them. In fact my Ma just looked at me when I told her I was gay, and said 'we know...' *Laughs* I guess I was just 'one o' them pups'.

Xavier: I mean, it's rare these days to see a real...'freak out' when it comes to pups coming out...aside from those in extremely religious families where procreation is a big part of the belief system. We've had the same rights and freedoms as any other couple has for a little over a century now, so coming out barely bats an eye in the modern age...

Malcolm: Yeah, unfortunately now it's Pred and Prey couples turn at bat to throw off that yolk o' public shame.

Xavier: But regardless, we will be there for our family should they need an uncle or father...well fathers to confide in. No doubt about that. Although more than likely we'll be having to go to one of my brothers and sister in laws about them talking to our pups about interest in other species rather than the other way around, just by percentages.

Ask Xavier: Peter Oryx versus The Zoo Fitness and Spa

 

Xavier: Actually yes, yes we did.

Malcolm: That was... Peter Oryx versus...what was that company called?

Xavier: The Zoo Fitness and Spa corporation.

Malcolm: Right, right...a gym company. No wonder I didn't remember it. *Chuckles*

Xavier: Granted the case was less about his sexual orientation, (although it was a factor), and more about the dating a predator element. For those who aren't familiar with the case, Peter was looking to be promoted to public relations for a number of years but was repeatedly passed up by newer, inexperienced hires that would ultimately be shuffled off to another department or fired outright when they failed to meet the requirements of the job. Of course, he had been suspicious for years that the decision more than likely had to do with his preference for predators, but he didn't have anything concrete until another employee turned over confidential internal discussions from those higher up in the company to Peter. Not only did those discussions express in no uncertain terms that a "Pred-Baiter" would not make a good public face in regards to their image, but the chat was regularly peppered with snide, cruel jokes at his expenses whenever his name was mentioned. Most of the jokes were aimed at his attraction to pred mammals, but there were more than a few homophobic remarks as well, mostly by employees of his own species who expressed colorful opinions about Peter's same-sex preferences made him a genetic dead end for keeping his species going.

Malcolm: As iffin' Oryx's need help in that department, ain't like they're endangered er' nothin'.

Xavier: Naturally it was a 'slam dunk' as they say, and as 'big' as it was in terms of the players involved, it was pretty quickly resolved. The company tried to claim the logs were fake at first, but the evidence from their computers showed it was a bald-faced lie. Then they tried to say it was doctored by a corporate rival, that was at least until other members of the chat who had been uncomfortable with the hostile tone toward Peter came forward to confirm the chat logs were unedited.

Malcolm: As if anyone believed that excuse to begin with...corporate rivals...yeesh...

Xavier: Needless to say the jury spent very little time deliberating before finding the company guilty, and awarding a massive windfall to Peter and his mate. I must say I was pretty proud of that case, even if I could have prosecuted it with a paw tied behind my back and a blindfold. *Laughs*

Malcolm: Mhh...Fluffybuns, I know y'all are many thangs, but I didn't take y'all fer bein' a kinky type.

Xavier: *Snort* Gingersnap! Don't give the public ideas, please...

FOUND AU Ask; Marcus' Journey

 

Dorian: I mean, it was honestly kinda...hard to take in at first, y'all know?

Yuri: Is that because it sounds like the kind of story Ully would tell?

Ulric: Make fun all you want, but I was right about Huumons! Just like I was right about Moira Blackwool!

Yuri: Even a broken clock is right twice a day...

Dorian: Well unlike one of Ully's...er...theory...I mean, the proof was in Marcus' even bein' here in the first place. But to think there are these hidden cities out there, all over Animalia, operatin' in secret cause their afraid of us...I mean...it's enough to make yer head spin on it's own.

Audrey: Then y'all have everythin' the poor boy went through in general. What his father did...in front of all them folks. And him bein' on that ship in the middle of that nasty squall while they were bein' attacked. It's a wonder he survived at all, the poor dear.

Zach: He's a strong pup. Endurin' as much as he has at his age...I'm just happy Me and my kitten have been able to help him heal, to be there for him and get to watch him start to blossom after dealin' with all that mess.

Vanna: Me too Goofball.

Dawn: It's just...it's still so mind-blowing to think all that happened, right under the noses of some of the most technically advanced nations in Animalia. To think they've been able to hide for this long.

Vernon: Had it not come from Marcus himself, I woulda chalked up the tale to somethin' out of one of Ully's books like Yuri said. It seemed impossible.

Xavier: Says the mate of the ewe who gave birth to the first pred-prey hybrid in over 300 years.

Vernon: I know, I know...but still...It's just wild.

Trenton: I just wish the boy coulda' found his way here through better circumstances...then again, I suppose had things been better in his home city, he wouldn't of had to run off...

Audrey: Well, what matters is that Marcus has a home now. A home and life he deserves, especially after all he's been through.

Ask the Hunters; Totaled Police Cars

 

Trenton: That's right. One fer me, Yuri, and Xavier to boot. Granted I totaled mine cause I had an accident.

Yuri: That was the black ice thing, right?

Trenton: Yep, it was a late winter night, and even with my good night acuity I couldn't make out the patch of ice on the road till it was too late. Skidded around fer what felt like furever, before I went right off the road and crushed the engine into a tree trunk.

Yuri: Lucky it didn't end up in yer lap...

Trenton: Well, I didn't get out clean anyway. Y'all remember the leg cast I had to sport fer a few months.

Yuri: I remember that clunker. *Chuckles* Bigger than Qali.

Trenton: Yup. So yeah, ain't exactly as excitin' as Yuri's story.

Yuri: Excitin'? Pft...only cause there was a little bit of a car chase involved. One I got cut out of purty quick because one of the perp's acomplices used his movin' truck to slam me and Lance into a lamppost and drove off before we could make a move on him.

Trenton: That totaled it?

Yuri: Fella came up on us from behind while we was tailin' his partners and pushed us directly into the post. Almost split the engine in two, just like what happened with you.

Trenton: So...can you really argue that 'you' totaled it?

Yuri: That's how the commissioner saw it. *Shakes Head*. But enough about me, let's get to the entertainin' story.

Xavier: Please...I really don't want to tell this story...

Trenton: Aw c'mon Xave, it's hilarious.

Xavier: It wasn't at the time! *Huffs* Still isn't!

Yuri: Just spit it out Prancy-Boy!

Xavier: Fine...*Sigh* This happened back when Malcolm and I had been together for a while. Our relationship was getting serious, and we decided to move in together. So...Malcolm and I started looking for a new apartment that would accommodate us both. And we found one, the one we live in currently, which is very lovely and-

Yuri: We getting' to the story er' not?

Xavier: I have to paint a picture! To explain enough so there's no questions as to how this happened.

Yuri: That sounds like somethin' a perp would say while bein' grilled...*Chuckles*

Xavier: The apartment was on the tenth floor, and while we were able to move a lot of stuff with the elevator, some of the furniture was too large, so we had to use the stairs. Now, thanks to the way the building is designed, the outer portion of the stairs is only separated from the outside by glass.

Trenton: Ah, sacrificin' safety fer aesthetic purposes eh?

Xavier: Well, there were still reinforced guardrails. The problem is that when I lost my grip on the sofa and it slid back down the stairs at maximum speed, it...well...it hit the landing with such force it practically bounced back...clearing the guardrail, shattering the window and plummeting down eight stories.

Yuri: Where it shot smack dab into the hood of a cop car...

Xavier: I was mortified! Although relieved that no one had been hurt. The cop had parked to issue parking tickets, and thankfully it hadn't hit any pedestrians.

Yuri: Betch ya ya'll got a purty sizeable parkin' ticket fer that one eh Xave?

Ask Xavier and Malcolm; Legal Pups

 

Xavier: Well if one of my nephews or nieces was interested, of course, I'd be happy to share whatever knowledge I could with them, but I can't see myself trying to pressure anyone, relative or no, into pursuing a legal career. Not only am I not as bad as my father when it comes to matters like that...at least I'd like to hope so, the legal field is sort of a...

Malcolm: Dry...? Stuffy?

Xavier: Not for everyone.

Malcolm: Cause of all the readin' y'all have to do?

Xavier: There is quite a bit of that involved yes, with complicated and verbose language that could put some of the worst insomnia sufferers to bed within moments. It's not as 'exciting' as those television dramas make it out to be. Impassioned speeches and damning admissions in the court are significantly fewer and farther between than most would think. That's not to say I haven't had my fair share of shining moments in court mind you. I just spend a lot more time researching law and preparing cases and so forth. What I'm basically saying to those that are interested is that if you are expecting to walk into a Pheonix Flight game, you will be sorely disappointed.

Malcolm: Well when y'all put it like that, ya make it sound like the dullest, most disinterestin' line o' work I've ever heard of.

Xavier: Don't get me wrong, it can be very rewarding. And rarely do I ever loath my work. I'm just saying...it takes a certain kind of mammal to be an attorney. A good one anyway. So while I would happily love to share my knowledge with an interested family member...I'm...er...honestly, I'd be terribly worried about boring them to tears. *Chuckles*

Malcolm: Aww, don't put yerself down there Fluffybuns. Yer law stories ain't that bad...

Xavier: Tell that to my brothers...and Mother...and Father...and pretty much any mammal who isn't also a lawyer or works in a legal capacity. *Laughs* Oh, and Dawn. I suppose her time as Assistant Mayor did well to steel her attention span in regards to legal proceedings.

Malcolm: Well, y'all never know. One of them pups yer brothers adopt someday could be just as keen on them stories.

Xavier: Well if that day ever comes, I'll be sure to try to ease them into the full depth of my legal knowledge. Maybe that will manage to foster that interest within them without snuffing it out altogether.

Malcolm: I know y'all will Fluffbuns. And yer' gonna be that pups' favorite Uncle.

Xavier: Please, if any mammal is guaranteed to be their favorite in terms of Uncles, it's going to be you Ginger Snap, paws down.

Malcolm: Aww....*Blushing* Hush now...

Ask the Cops; Close Calls

 

Vernon: I'm purty sure the only one in the family who's had a real...close call would be Zach.

Yuri: I had a gun pointed at me once, thankfully I was faster on the draw then the fella holdin' the pistol.

Zach: Again, I want receipts for that.

Yuri: I'm sooo sorry that I wasn't dumb enough to let that lynx pump a few holes in me as proof before i took the time to disarm him. Sadly I ain't as much of a lunkhead as you are mister 'I'm gonna dive in front of the lamb bein' aimed at instead o' disarmin' the perp'!

Xavier: YURI! Zach almost DIED! You are so lucky mother isn't here to hear you talk like that!

Yuri:C'mon, it's right outta the book! Disarm the perp first! They practically teach it to you day one at the academy! Iffin' you disarmed him, he woulda never got the shot off!

Trenton: Or he could have hit a bystander, or fired into the air and the bullet could have hit anyone...

Yuri: Oh now don't start defendin' him! Zach let his emotions cloud his judgment!

Zach: Yeah, cause you've never done that before! Just how many times have y'all been suspended?

Yuri: *Crosses his arms defensively* That's...that's not even...

Zach: At least I was tryin' to protect someone, not throwin' a temper tantrum!

Yuri: *Huffs in annoyance* Well you- I- I mean-! *Snort* Whatever...

Zach: Sides, you know as well as I do that iffin' you was in my sole pads, you woulda' done the same damn thang!

Yuri: Pft...

Zach: Anyway...I made the call. I took the risk and I saved that lamb, and thankfully I managed to live to boot. I'd call it a win, despite the fact that I've had that incident hangin' over my head ever since in terms of the way Pa treats me at work. But despite all that, I'd do it again iffin' I had to in a heartbeat. I made the right call.

Vernon: That's another thang I'm sure Ma doesn't want to hear...*Chuckles*

Zach: Well I stand by it!....*mumbles quietly* Sorry Ma...

Vernon: What about y'all, Nick? Judy? Dawn told me ya'll both had some close ones.

Nick: Meh, I got hit in the shoulder once during the shoot out at Zootopia's first national. Shoulder is still a little stiff in the mornings, but I wouldn't call it ser-

Judy: It could have been.

Nick: Carrots...

Judy: If that shot had been a few inches lower...

Nick: Well I could say the same about the drunk fox who tried to bite out your jugular. I mean had he bit down just a little bit deeper...

Vernon: Drunk fox?

Nick: Not me, if that's what you were thinking. And I'd like to point out, we were talking centimeters there, unlike my 'inches'.

Judy: I made a mistake! The fact that we had dealt with that perp multiple times without a hassle had my guard down! Meanwhile, you were practically running out into a hail of gunfire all gung-ho!

Nick: There was a few feet between me and that second squad car. I needed a better angle...I just...mistimed it is all...

Judy: Mistimed!? Why would you even take such a risk, you Dumb Fox! There was n-!

Yuri: Sweet Sawgrass, we get it, yer both strong, independent cops who shrug off grievous injuries. Would y'all just admit ya gave each-other a scare and kiss and make-up?

Judy:...

Nick:...

Judy: The bite was serious. I know...I'm sorry...

Nick: I shoulda held out for back up instead of making that dumb maneuver, I'm sorry I put you through that Carrots...

Judy: I love you...

Nick: Do you?

Judy: *Chuckles* You know I do, dumb fox.

Nick: *Chuckles* Do I know that? Of course I do...

Judy: *Giggles*

Nick: Y'know, I gotta say Big Fella, your brother has quite a way with words.