Howdy Beau,
Let me start out by apologizing for all the...er...craziness Ulric has brought down on your pumpkin patch over the years. I don't know exactly why he seems to favor stalking your pumpkin patch over our own, as I...well I've never been able to get a sensible answer out of the boy. To be honest, I don't understand a lot about why my boy does what he does aside from blaming his medical condition. I was hoping that when he moved out years ago to pursue his work in DC, this wouldn't really be an issue anymore. I figured he would have put that fixation with whatever 'creature' he thinks lives under your fields well and truly behind him as he moved on to what I hoped was bigger and better things. The last thing I expected him to go an use this years Sam Hain Scare visit to...er 'settle an old score' as he put it. Nor did I expect his new lady friend to actually indulge his delusions this time around, considering for the most part she seems to have a good head on her shoulders.
Naturally I'll pay for any and all damages the boy did. You already have my address so you can send the bill. As for the...emotional trauma suffered by all them young pups seeing him streaking through your fields, well...I can only offer my sincerest apologies. Know that going forward, should Ulric choose to visit our home during Harvest Season, he will not be allowed to leave the house without an escort who will actively reign him in. Audrey has promised she make sure of that, personally if she has to.
Happy Sam Hain Scare,
Sheriff Dorian Everett Hunter
P.S. In the unlikely event that Ully manages to give us the slip next year, I recommend setting up some scare sheep in your fields. The boy is somewhat petrified of sheep-folk, and tends to go out of his way to avoid them. Just ask my daughter-in-law, she can vouch for it working.
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