Ask Dorian; Pulling over his Pups.

 

Dorian: Two thangs I never did while them boys were growin' up. One, was use my position at the station to mess with them...

Audrey: *Chuckles* Ya'll saved razzin' 'em fer the house.

Dorian: *Raisies a second finger* And two, I didn't do them boys any favors iffin' they got into actual trouble themselves. Iffin' they were caught speedin' they got a ticket. Iffin' they got caught intoxicated, they ended up in the drunk tank fer the night...No slap on the paws.

Audrey: Dori wanted it ta always be clear to the rest of the North Meadowland's that just cause the boys were ours, didn't mean they was gonna get special treatment. *Chuckles* My Darlin' Dori was a public servant above all else...

Dorian: That said, I think Zach caught a parkin' ticket off duty once, other than that, *Winces* we had two...drunk in public issues with Yuri before he left fer school...

Audrey: I...try to be a little soft on them incidents cause it was so close to when yer Pa died Dori...Aldus meant a lot to Yuri and...even though I'm mad he went and drank underage...I get that he was hurtin'...

Dorian: Hey, ain't like I wasn't dealin' with it myself...still, Yuri spendin' those nights in the drunk tank was probably fer the best...made sure ta' keep him from makin' a few more dumb decisions while he was wallowin'...*Chuckles* Aside from callin' me every name in the book in the process...

Audrey: *Chuckles* I remember that, I swear them words ya'll told me...I don't think I'd ever heard curse words like that before or since 'iffin' I'm bein' honest.

Dorian: *Places a paw to his chest, flashing his mate a surprised glance.* Don't look at me! I ain't never heard most of them words he picked up before either...*Chuckles* What are they teachin' them pups in school these days?

Ask the Cops; The Dumbest Lawbreaker

 

Nick and Judy: Weaselton.

Bogo: *Groans* Weaselton...

Wade: Even I know who Weaselton is...we've picked him up a few times in our district. One of them times that idiot got his tongue stuck to a lamppost while tryin' ta make off with some ol' lady sheep's purse.

Nick: Seriously? *Laughs* How?

Wade: Well, based on the witness testimony, and the evidence at the scene, seems like he tried ta yank the purse away, and whipped around to run without fully gettin' his bearin's while tryin' to flee as fast as his legs could carry him. He barley made it two steps before collidin' face-first into the pole, and his maw was wide open.

Judy: Knowing Duke, probably because he was laughing like a maniac...

Wade: By the time me and Mavsa got to the scene, the ol' ewe had been wailin' on him fer a good ten minutes with her cane...*Snickers* She couldn't really hurt him all that much considerin' the gal was kickin' around her nineties, but even weak little thwaps can start to wear y'all down after ten minutes...

Nick: What about you Finn?

Finnick: *Scratches chin thoughtfully.* Hmm...still you Nick...

Nick: *Nick feigns being slighted* Ouch, Francis you wound me...

Finnick: *Growls* Keep my first name outcha mouth Wilde...I've only gotten better at taking down mammals ten times my size since joining the ZPD. I won't even break a sweat dealin' with you...

Nick: *Laughs* Hey, what I lack in physical strength I make up for in being charismatic and quick on my feet...

Judy: *Gets between the two tods, holding her paws out to keep them at a distance from each other.* Alright, alright, guys. You're both pretty, so please stop winding each other up. I don't want to have to arrest two of my fellow officers.

Nick: Fine, fine...I'll save my barbed wit for another target for now...like the other Hunter Officers perhaps?

*Dorian glares at the tod, causing him to shrink into his shoulders.*

Nick: *Coughs* N-not you of course Sheriff...

Dorian: A 'course not Officer Wilde...but do try and cut my boys some slack alright...y'all should know by now what with bein' a fancy city cop how hard police work actually is...

Nick: R-Right...yessir...*Gulps*

Dorian: Up where I'm from we got a few...dim bulbs flickerin' in and out of the station every so often. The Baah'ly Brothers fer one...usually startin' bar fights er' vandalizin' folks crops...they've even tried their hooves at hoaxin' a few crop circles which got my boy Ully's hackles up...Then there's old George Boarson's son, Billy Boarson...that boy ended up on the sex offender registry thanks to stickin' his willy in a buncha places it don't belong, and several o' those times we got called to pull the poor idiot out of whatever he got himself 'stuck' in.

Judy: *Cringes* Do I want to know this?

Dorian: He's purty harmless...mostly got caught with his pig pecker in a bunch of inanimate thangs...Although there was one time he tried to get frisky with one of ol' Shetland's Ostriches... *Winces* That was the one that got him bumped up from local sex pervert to registered sex offender...As well as a nasty talon scar on his face fer his trouble...

*Yuri and Trent look at each, a mixture of disgust and amusement on their faces as they stifle a laugh*.

Wade: What's so funny?

Yuri: Nothin' nothin'...just *Snrk* Got a bunch o' jokes about Billy Boarson stuffin' bird hittin' my brain all at once. *Pft*

Trenton: *PFFT*Thank the gods it weren't just me... remember the ol' rhyme they had kickin' around when we was teens...

Yuri: *In a sing-songy tone* Billy Boarson boffed a bird.

Trenton: *Now joining in Yuri's tenor* Although I'm sure it sounds absurd.

Yuri: He grasped and gripped while the big bird squirmed. And sprayed its feathers with ropes of-.

Dorian: *Cuts Yuri off* Alright, alright, I know how it goes...I know we're all cops here, but try to keep the gutter talk to a minimum boys...

Yuri: *Rolls his eyes* Psh, fine...I'll just talk about my dumbest perps...most of which are o' course, gang members...Usually pups so y'all expect 'em to be dumb.

Dorian: Anythin' serious?

Yuri: Not from the young ones. Usually, they get busted fer spray paintin' er' dealin' nip er' toad drops er' lichen gum...I've picked up a number of 'em just walkin' down the road with a crate o' booze, lookin' nowhere near eighteen...Then me and Lance get to listen to them struggle to make excuses fer themselves 'er adamantly declare they're adults but fergot their wallet. The dumbest stories they're just prayin' we'll take at face value and let 'em off...

Trenton: How long do you let them go on for before taking them in?

Yuri: As long as it takes to hang themselves, which don't take long fer 'em to do... Of course, we let 'em go longer iffin' it's real funny. *Chuckles*

*The assembled cops laugh knowingly*

Yuri: We also got a homeless guy called ol' Gus, kind of a crotchety old jaguar who spends most of his days proletizin' about the end times on street corners...*Laughs* Kinda reminds me of Ully actually...just without a handler in Honey. 

*Dorian snorts, clearly unimpressed by Yuri's comparison of Ully to a crazy homeless mammal*

Yuri: We take him down to the station from time to time iffin' he has one of his more aggressive days, er' needs to sleep off some booze fer the night. Dumb as a box o' rocks but loves to talk to anyone who will listen, so me and Lance get subjected to a lot o' his crazy stories...

Trenton: Sounds more sad than dumb...

Yuri: Well, one o' my favorite dumb perp stories features Gus just walkin' into a carrot phone store and yanking a tablet out of its stand. Then he goes out the nearest corner and just plops down there to toy with it...So we get called out, and he tells me, Lance, and the manager standin' there, watchin' him use the tablet that he always had it. Despite the fact he'd never got past the lock screen...and the metal brackets and torn USB cable were still hangin' off the damn thang...

Dorian: Sound like them kids you was talkin' about earlier...

Yuri: Yeah, well those kids wouldn't have been as dumb as to start writin' a grocery list in Sharpie on the tablet, thinkin' that's how tablets work.

*The cops share a laugh*

Wade: What about you Trent?

Trenton: Eh, my job ain't got much to tell...I'm a trooper, not a cop. So most o' my dumb perps tend to come in the form of folks lyin' to get out of a speedin' ticket. I can't tell ya how many times I've had bunnies tryin' to convince me, totally stone-faced and serious that 'clearly my radar gun is broken, cause they were only goin' 55...' Meanwhile, I'm flippin' through the highway cams up the road catchin' stills of these folks blowin' past everyone else like it's a fast and furrious movie...

Dorian: It's really somethin' just how many folks will try to convince y'all, right to yer face, that they didn't break the law...it's like they got no other option but goin' fer broke...

Nick: I think that's the universal sign of a dumb perp. 

Judy: At the very least a desperate one...

Finnick: Actin' like you didn't try your paw at that sorta crap when we worked our side hustles...

Nick: *Shrugs* Hey, I didn't necessarily think they'd go for it! I just figured maybe I could charm my way out of the situation...it worked...*Winces* Well sometimes...Till Carrots ruined my streak of good luck anyway...

Judy: More like dumb luck...

Nick: Hey, I'll take any luck I can get...*Laughs*

Found AU; Kirin Dice and his Casino

 

Dorian: I generally prefer to stay as far away from that District as I can...which is easy to do considerin' I'm purty much locked to the North Meadowlands when it comes to the reach of our District's Sheriff's office. Unlike the big four, there ain't really much bleed over in terms o' cases and patrols...*Huffs* Still, I wish that guy could just be livin' in that District too and save me the headache...I really, really hate that he's operatin' in any capacity in our quiet little community...even if his actual criminal activity goes on in the Nocturnal District exclusively...

Xavier: Are we all...certain he's still up to his old tricks? I mean...a Casino is technically legal to operate in the Nocturnal District...

Wade: Although he had to use a weird loophole to get a hold of the land...that much alone should tell ya the fella ain't too keen on operatin' above board.

Xavier: I suppose...Gah...*huffs* I'll admit...nothing does frustrate me more in my line of work than those who argue 'technical legality' and habitual loophole exploiters.

Trenton: That kind of behavior certainly don't scream 'I'm a stand-up fella lookin' to do hard, honest work' that's fer sure...

Vernon: That's o' course is ignorin' what Tim told us...and the stuff we saw in that documentary...

Yuri: Please, y'all don't even need any o' that...you can tell by his smell alone. My Hunter's intuition kicked in the moment I first laid eyes on him...that ugly mug o' his made my hackles stand on end in an instant.

Dorian: At least y'all boys don't have him livin' right in yer back yard...*huff* Not only does he got me worried about our little community here...but with yer Ma's new litter on the way...I'm real worried fer them havin' to grow up with that vile mammal skulking around our quaint lil' district...

Vernon: Well at least he'll stand out, so they'll know to keep clear of him...

Yuri: *Laughs* Hard not to with a mug like his, and his trail of corporate sycophants surroundin' him. 

Wade: He honestly kinda looks like those old 'stranger danger' signs from when we was pups...y'know the shadow with the hat and mean squinty eyes? Same energy. Just...y'know without the wolf ears...

Vernon: And we'll be a stone's throw away from his backyard soon enough...y'all know Dawn and me were lookin' to move up to South Meadowlands fer the pups sake...We'll be right smack dab between his home and workplace...*Shudders*

Dorian: It's times like this when I wish I hadn't stopped them teen arsonists from burnin' the ol' Bellwether mansion down a few years back...would have saved us all a lot o' trouble...

Yuri: Though knowin' this guy, he probably would have built a new place on the ashes, seein' as the grounds were 'so rich with history'...*Scoffs*

Dorian: Well iffin' there's one thing I know about folks like Dice...it's that karma always catches up with 'em...one day fer sure it's all gonna come crashin' down right on top of him...and whether er' not I'll be there to see it, I don't know...but it's comin' hard and fast...and eventually there'll be nowhere left to run and hide.

Yuri: I just hope it's soon...the less time he has to stir up trouble in Zootopia, the better...though I'm sure when that check comes due he'll meet the gates of hades itself wearin' that same...unnervin' and insincere smile he's always got and schemin' up a way to scam Hel himself...

Vernon: Yer right about most o' that...'cept fer one thang...

Yuri: How's that Vermin?

Vernon: That smile is genuine...and that's the most terrifyin' thing about him...

Found AU ask; Just a typical, ordinary, average School.

Vernon: Does my experience count in this here discussion?

Zach: The fact that y'all were oblivious to the existence of stuff like this in middle and high school don't count fer squat...

Vernon: An 'espionage club', really? I still can't believe anyone would cook up somethin' like that...

Gus: Realistically it's just a fancy name for what was ostensivley 'puzzle solving club'. Espionage Club just sounds cooler.

Vernon: *Glares at Gus* 

Gus: What? I already told you I almost joined...but founding the BnB club was a task in and of itself, I didn't have time for any other clubs.

Dorian: It's what I'd expect out of an inner city school...although it still goes on out her in the country...that kinda stuff I mean...I just don't think it's as prevalent.

Vernon: Which is why we're lookin' into movin'....

Yuri: Please, that ain't gonna matter Vern. We all know this already, so why don't you? Trouble follows that lil' gal...You could move her all the way into the mountains and home school her exclusively and she'd manage to stumble onto an illegal coca leaf farm while playin' outside...if you pick up and move, that stuff is just gonna tag along fer the ride...*Chuckles*

Vernon: *Groans* Sometimes I really hate you Yuri...

Yuri: Hate me? Er' hate that I'm right?

Vernon: *huffs* Hate that yer right...

Wade: As fer what kinda techniques she picked up from us...I mean she picked up lots o' little stuff from all of us before Vernon put a cap on us talkin' police business around her...which, by the way, how's that workin' out?

Vernon: It hasn't helped much at all iffin' I'm bein' honest...*The wolf sighs, his tail and ears sagging sharply.*

Wade: I had a feelin'...

Zach: But the mammal she squeezed the most out of in terms of police techniques would be Pa...and to be fair, even what she picked up from us was stuff we learned from him so...

Dorian: Yeah, I didn't teach her that haymaker takedown though...I'm purty sure that was all Yuri...

Yuri: Well, iffin' I'm bein honest I picked that up from Ada's sister...*Chuckles*, although she was playin' her wrestler character at the time...Damn that was a great match...

Vernon: That's not the only move she picked up from one o' you...Dawn showed me some cuttin' room floor clips last week, and damned if I didn't see my lil' miss and her friend Paul sparrin', and she up and goes and pulls some sand out of her pocket and throws it in his eyes!

Zach: *Laughs* Rut me, no way!

Wade: Was Paul hurt?

Vernon: Naw, he was wearin' some of those science class goggles...he was fine...but they were literally practicin' deployin' 'pocket sand'. *Shakes head*

Yuri: See, that's what happens when y'all force us to shut our traps about somethin' yer pup is interested in...she ends up copyin' her Uncle Ully out o 'desperation...

Zach: Desperation er' not, I can't argue it ain't an effective tactic...*Chuckles*

Found AU Ask; Progress with Marcus

 

Dorian: Well, the obvious place where the boy's still stalin' is his incessant need to do chores and work on Zach and Vanna's behalf...but I think that's somethin' that the poor boy's gonna be stuck with fer a while.

 Zach: To be fair...it's kinda a hard line to walk fer me and Vanna...I mean, y'all don't want to not give yer teenaged pups a chore or two to instill responsibility and structure into 'em...

Vanna: Though I'd say Marcus has had more than enough responsibility instilled into him for a lifetime...in the cruelest possible ways...

Zach: But y'all want him to be able to look after himself when he grows up...to take care of his own pups and pack...Still...if I ask him ta' clean his room, 'er wash the dishes, er' take out the trash...I'm real scared he's gonna fall right back into overdrive, and I'm gonna catch him redo'in wallpaper fer the whole house, 'er Winterizin' the sidin'....*Shakes head*

Ada: Wells, disregauwdin' Marcus' incessant need to please his folks, and possible chronik OCD, I tink da kid has made a lotta progress...

Trenton: Yeah, he really seems like he's grown real comfortable with everyone...

Audrey: More than comfortable! That boy fit right into our pack like he'd always been a part of it. It's like it was meant to be!

Vanna: It's such a relief to see him really start to open up and just...thrive. Whether he's playing in his band with his friends or just watching him interact with his cousins...it just... makes my heart swell with joy...

Zach: Even watchin' er' playin' sports with him, despite the risk o' bodily harm...I mean...it's worth the trip to the ER just to see that boy smile.

Vernon: Me and Dawn know how that feels, we feel the same sorta joy and pride lookin' over our pups.

Audrey:*Laughs* Now y'all know how it felt raisin' y'all...there wasn't a day that went by where me and yer Pa's heart wasn't burstin' with love just watchin' you boys thrive...and now I'm burstin' with pride all over again seeing y'all rear pups of yer own...

Zach and Vernon: Thanks Ma. 

Audrey: That said, I think y'all were worried fer nothin', all four of y'all took to bein' parents like a fish to water. And I know in my heart y'all can handle whatever trouble y'all come across along the way.

Zach: Well...I wouldn't say me and my Kitten don't still have our worries and misgivin's and all...but I don't think I'm too alone in sayin' I think we've grown a bit more confident in terms o' raisin' Marcus. 

Vanna: It's true...of course, a lot of our initial fears evaporated rather quickly as soon as we got to know Marcus.

Zach: Yeah, I think our fears quickly shifted from 'are we ready fer this?' to ' How can we do  our very best by this boy?'

Vanna: And at this point...despite my Goofball sometimes taking his...parental paranoia too far, I feel like we've adapted to something...well...something comfortable. Something that works. And I really believe that we are doing our very best.

Zach: I take offense to that...

Yuri: This from the fella who was seriously talking to me about usin' a tracker anklet on the boy.

Zach: You were supposed to keep yer trap shut about that!

Yuri: Honestly, I'm surprised Vernon weren't the one to tap me about that first, mostly cause Lily's the one always pullin' Hoovdini's on him and Dawn.

Wade: That's because he asked me about sneaking one out of the station fer him.

Dawn: Puppy!

Vernon: *Ears splay against his head* Wade, I was merely considerin' that! And you promised you'd keep that muzzle o' yers shut over it...

Dawn: A tracking device!? She's our Daughter, not Princess Calibre!

Vernon: I-I mean we'd only use it fer when she's bein' pupsat! Or when we take 'er to the park!

Dawn: *Shakes head* I'm disappointed in you...at least we could have talked about this in private before you decided to go to Wade...I-I'm not necessarily against keeping tabs on Lily with something....a bit less intrusive than a leash....but a tracking anklet?

Vernon: Well, I thought it was better than a chip implant...I mean, that's literally what ya use on pets...er' Ully...

Yuri: Ha!

Zach: Oh Mam', looks like yer in the doghouse now there Vern...

Vanna: Well, that would make two of you then...because don't think I'm not upset with you for considering tracking our kitten without consulting me...

Zach: *Ears splay against his head* I-I just wanted to make sure the boy was safe!

Vanna: *Holds up a paw* We will discuss this when we get home.

Yuri: *Laughs* Better make room in that doghouse fer one more Hunter...to answer that follow-up question you have. Yes, Ully tried to take samples just today...and after I tuned him up over it, Ma put him to work cleanin' the whole ranch...without any help.

Audrey: *Shakes her head* Speakin' of, I best go check on yer brother...if I go leavin' him alone fer too long he might make a bigger mess outta them chores then before he cleaned 'em...

Found Ask; The Kartakka Tapes; Part 1

 

Dorian: I feel like we've answered thissun' before...

Audrey: Me too...but iffin' we did, it was a long while back...and I honestly can't remember it.

Dorian: Sufficed to say I saw it well before it ended up in that petflix special on the city he hailed from. Zach and Vanna, too, what with them bein' his caretakers at the time...Auddey also soldered through it despite me insistin' she avoid it like the plague.

Audrey: I had to see it...I had to see what they did to my poor grandpup...and oh- it wa-was *sniffle* I just...I still can't believe they d-did that to a poor p-pup! *Whine* With his own Pa orderin' it no less!

Dorian: Auddey...

Auddey: And watchin' it...watchin' the whole time s-stoned face...l-like he felt nothin' fer his own son! *whine* What a monster!

Dorian: *Hugs Audrey*There there Darlin' he's safe now...

Zach: Naturally we had...we each had our own powerful reactions to the footage...I couldn't see nothin' but red myself. Made me want to hunt down Marcus' sorry excuse fer a Pa and tear him limb from limb. And my Kitten...well....while she wasn't as...expressive as Ma was, she was definitely cryin'...

Vanna: I think...I was just stunned really. Horrified by the violence, by seeing our Marcus suffer like that...I...honestly don't remember too much of what was going on around me once the footage started playing...I...only realized after it was all over that not only was I crying, but I had been digging my claws so sharply into my own thighs that I ended up having to put a few stitches in to get the bleeding to stop...

Dorian: I had a burnin' ball o' rage in my stomach the whole time. Could barely keep it swallowed with my stomach rollin' over and over again. I don't think I've ever had my fangs clenched that hard fer that long in my life...surprised none o' my teeth pressure cracked from the strain...

Zach: When it came to the rest of the family seeing it, it was sorta an elected thang...Yuri and Ada opted to watch it and it had...similar results.

Yuri: Ada was practically out the door with that baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire from her office after sittin' through that horror show. She was fixin' to walk all the way to that there city and beat Marcus' former Pa to death in the street.

Ada: Mookie had to assure me up and down dat he was long dead already a few times before I finally was willin' to let go ah' dah Equilizer.

Yuri: Then I had to stop y'all again cause you was fixin' to find his grave and desecrate it.

Ada: *Huffs* O' Course dey had to go a burn dat guys body, so dere ain't nuttin' to desecrate! 

Zach: Dawn and Vern also watched....what with Dawn bein' an abuse victim herself, she felt she needed to see what Marcus suffered through...And ol' Puppy wasn't gonna let her suffer through that alone.

Dawn: It was...so much worse than I...I even imagined...and...it really brought me b-back to some...really d-dark moments of my life. I...

Vernon: My poor Honey lamb started tremblin' somethin' fierce about half way through...shakin' and whimperin'....b-but she wouldn't let me stop the tape...not fer a second.

Dawn: I-I had to do it for Marcus', I w-wanted to be strong for my nephew!

Vernon: I ended up holdin' her close fer the whole veiwin'...Her sobbin' and shakin'....me growlin' and cryin'...we-we were a real mess...

Dawn: And then after the video we went to our lambs and held them so close and so tight...*sniffle* *Swab's eyes* I-I'm sorry, I'm gettin' worked up again...

Vernon: *Wraps his arms around Dawn, scooping her up into his chest.* It's alright Darlin', it's okay...

Dawn: I-I just...I both can't believe some mammal would do that to their own lamb, and yet I know from experience just how cruel and monstrous a parent can be!

Vernon: Dawn couldn't stop huggin' Marcus the next time we saw him neither...Y'all think she woulda been all hugged out after we spent the rest o' that night swaddlin' our pups...

Dawn: You act like you weren't right there with me, hugging us both just as tightly...

Vernon: *Chuckles* I never said I wasn't...

Zach: Xavier watched it too, but Malcolm opted out...so did the rest of the family...at least until the Petflix special aired. 

Xavier: Malcolm didn't have the stomach for it...and to be honest I barely got through it myself. I thought my years in court would have better prepared me for...seeing this sort of thing...but in all honesty, I don't believe you ever truly get used to seeing abuse like that...it was...some of the most reprehensible treatment of a pup I've ever seen in my life...and while my Gingersnap didn't watch it, he did console me after my own viewing.

Zach: Qali and Giselle have remained adamant that they never wanna see that tape, or the Petflix special. And Trent and Wade have watched the special but skipped the scenes involvin' Marcus'...er...Public floggin'...

Vanna: And Ulric and Honey have watched the full special. Honey's response was similar to Ada's, and Ully apparently moped about it fer days...it-it really shook him...

Dorian: It shook all of us really...

Yuri: Then he goes and sends a 300-dollar Junior science and investigators kit out to the boy! Tryin' to make a stab fer the title o' best Uncle right from under the rest of us while we was all distracted...

Ada: Oh can it Mookie, youse and I's both know we's also sent him a big present after watchin' dat...pretty much all of us did...

Zach: It was like a surprise birthday fer the boy. *Chuckles* He was so confused....real happy, but confused...*Flashes Yuri a half-lidded gaze* By the way, I fergot to thank you fer the professional baseball gear you sent...

Yuri: *chuckles* Gotta make sure the boy keeps his batten' arm strong fer them big games don't I? Sides', I know he's gotta great catch partner...

Dorian: Anyway...I mean...it should go without sayin' seein'...what we saw makes us see the boy a bit different.

Audrey: Although we don't love him any less!

Dorian: O'course not! It's just...seein' what he actually went through instead of just...havin' an idea...*sighs* It can be purty agonizin'...

Zach: I was hurtin' so powerful fer my son...fer what he went through...I think me and Vanna were kinda sick over it fer days...Havin' nightmares about bein' there...unable to stop it from happinin', forced to watch....*shudders*

Vanna:  Sometimes I would look at Marcus... and my mind would go right back to that video...

Dawn: Lamb Shanks! Me too!

Vernon: I could tell every time that would happen, cause y'all would immediately scurry over and ask iffin' was alright to hug him a'fore nearly stranglin' the boy with the tightest and longest hug y'all could muster. *Chuckles*

Dawn: P-Please Puppy, Marcus is nearly twice my size...I can barely get my hooves around him let alone 'strangle him'. *Cracks a weak smile* Doesn't mean I didn't try though. *Chuckles weakly*

Yuri: Fact o' the matter is we all love that pup to death, and all that video did fer us is make us love him even more...

Ada: As for how we's feel about humans in general afta seein' all dat, I mean...I tink most of us can agree dat one bad group of humans does not mean da whole species is like dat.

Vanna: It shouldn't surprise you, considering that our pack is quite a menagerie that have a variety of different species-based chips on their shoulders, that we aren't going to just blanket blame a whole species for Marcus' mistreatment.

Dawn: There are plenty of good humans out there, we've been meeting increasing numbers of them while Puppy and I are out on my book tours, and of course through online correspondence.

Vernon: The podcast is surprisingly popular with humanfolk...*chuckles*

Dawn: It's a lesson I already had to learn the hard way...and it's not a mistake I'll be allowing myself to make again, about any species. And after all, how could I look all humans with a negative lens? I have a wonderful nephew who just happens to be human himself, and I love him nearly as much as I love my own lambs!

Zach: Alright, settle down now...remember Marcus' is my pup, not yers...

Vanna: *Glares at Zach*

Zach: E-Er...I mean our Pup Kitten. Our Pup!

Hunters: *Laugh*

Found Ask; Zach's Stalking.

 Ada: Oh yeas, we is all aware. At least us goils is...

Dawn: Yes, Vanna has kept us in the loop about Zach's...um...let's just call it, parenting difficulties.

Vanna: I've been trying so hard to keep on top of him when it comes to letting his imagination run wild about Marcus and his friends. But sometimes he...well...he can still slip through my paws. With Aiko, I literally turned my back for a few minutes and he was grilling her as though she was a suspect at the station.

Ada: Sounds a lot like Ully behavior...*Cackles*

Vanna: Oh don't even get me started on Ulric, that fact that he supplied Zach with all that spy gear...I'm still furious at him over that.

Honey: Just so you know, I had absolutely nothing to do with it. Though I will say, while Ulric gave Zach that gear, he certainly doesn't agree with him about Aiko and the rest of Marcus' friends.

Yuri: There's a surprise. Even the mad mammal is sane about somethin' fer once...

Vernon: I...I mean I'm tryin' to be sympathetic to what Zach's goin' through and all...I know I can be a helicopter parent myself...and y'all wanna make sure yer pups are hangin' around good influences, but...I mean at this point Zach has proven to us again and again them pups are as good as gold despite aimin' fer the opposite. I don't think Marcus coulda asked fer a better group o' friends, and I'm real happy fer him. I just wish Zach could mellow out just a bit over 'em.

Trenton: I think it's normal for a parent to be suspicious of their pup's new friends...but at this point Zach's got nothin' but evidence clearin' them pups names. He's gotta let this go...fer all out sakes, but especially Marcus'.

Dorian: We can only keep playin' off Zach's episodes fer Marcus before the boy starts to figure out what Zach's really up to. And findin' out the truth about that could hurt the boy.

Vanna: Honestly...I'm at my wit's end on exactly how to ease Zach's fears over Marcus' friends. I feel like I've tried everything.

Vernon: Well...I know this is risky...considerin' how thangs went with lil' Aiko...but have y'all considered maybe forcin' Zach to interact with 'em might help? Like, maybe make him take Marcus and them pups on a camping trip er' somethin', make him actually get to know 'em. It might finally cement fer him the fact them pups is good.

Vanna: Are you nuts!? Can you imagine all the ways that could go wrong?

Dorian: That actually ain't the worst idea, so long as y'all tag along Vanna, that way you can keep Zach in check iffin' he goes too far.

Vanna: Oh...I don't know...

Ada: Hey, what's da worse dat could happen? After all, if Zach's really goes nuts you can just 'keep on top of him' like youse said earlier...literally I mean. *Chuckles* Like sit on him. 

Dawn: *Laughs* Well, I suppose that's one way to keep him out of trouble...

Found Ask; The Dice Sting

 

Vernon: Honestly, I kinda regret doin' it...'specially since I didn't tell my Honey Lamb, since she'd probably kill me fer doin' somethin' so risky...and rightfully so...but after what I saw and heard...*shudders*, I'm honestly just glad I got out of there with my pelt still stuck on me.

Yuri: I've seen and heard some twisted things working cases in Seaodder...but I gotta admit, this guy got my fur standin' on end...when I wasn't frothin' at the mouth with rage that is. He was just so...damn blunt, and smug too. Like he thinks he's untouchable. *Growls*

Dorian: I'll admit, the North Meadowlands is a purty quiet community. Murders and other serious and morally offensive crimes don't tend to happen much 'round these parts. Fer the most part everyone 'round here is real friendly, and most folks know each other. Keeps folks honest. But this fella Kirin...I don't think I've ever seen a fella so cavalier about his obvious criminal history, and how well he preyed upon and manipulated others. I mean, the fella turned that ol' manner into a temple devoted to the darkest aspects of mammalian nature, and the fact that he actively revels in it....makes my stomach turn.

Yuri: I hate to say...I mean I know it's related to my Sister-In-Law after all...but I'd say his choice in decoratin' ain't far off base when it comes to the vibe of the ol' Bellwether Manor, disgustin' and sickinin' though it may be.

Vernon: I'm sure Dawn would fergive you...though as bad as 'ol Ash was, I can't see him settin' up charred up slot machines with mammal remains still fused to 'em in the hall of the manor...Teeth to Tails, where do you even buy somethin' like that?

Dorian: I dunno son...I've been lookin' into things to see iffin' it was illegal to own somethin' like that...but sadly there's nothin' on the books about it.

Yuri: Once again the snake slips right through the lang arms o' the law.

Vernon: C'mon now Yuri, comparin' that fella to a snake is an insult to snakes.

Yuri: Oldwyn's great grey muzzle, my pelt was crawlin' all over the place when he was tellin' that story about his family...

Vernon: How do y'all think I felt? Not only did I have to listen to it, but I had that creep smilin' back at me the whole time he told his lil' Kittish royal drama. I was torn between wantin' to punch that fella and hightailin' it out of there as fast as my legs could carry me.  My stomach was doin' barrel roles the whole time...And what he told us about Marcus' Pa...

Yuri: Figure's he'd know all about that...he seems to be collectin' the most morbid stories he possibly can just to regail all those folk's who'll listen. I honestly wouldn't be surprised iffin' he didn't have somethin' to do with it somehow.

Dorian: He might have...though I don't think there's anything I can do about it even if he did...I think that'd be limited to the city Marcus came from's jurisdiction...and they don't seem like they cared all too much about justice when it came to those in positions o' power...

Yuri: I can't believe Marcus' Pa would do that to him...it's so damn...brutal...and to make it such a public show...

Vernon: I can. I'm tithed to an abuse victim after all...but bein' a Pa myself now...I just...I can't imagine doin' that to my pups...it makes me sick thinkin' about it.

Dorian: I'm just as disgusted...I'm just glad Marcus is in safe paws now, with mammals that actually care about.

Yuri: Care about him? Sure. 'safe paws'? Mhh...I dunno about that one...

Found Ask; Dorian, Zach, and Vanna; The Baseball Storm

 

Dorian: I dunno what yer talkin' about. *Chuckles* 

Zach: Yeah, I dunno what town blotter y'all read, but most o' them...er...'baseball' incidents were....misreported.

Dorian: Turns out that there was one o' them meteor showers that day. And what most folks don't know is that some o' them little buggers can actually make it to the surface...

Zach: Ulric said that...I think.

Dorian: But iffin' yer concerned I can safely assure y'all that after a thorough investigation we at the North Meadowlands Police Department have confirmed that the source of the so-called rash o' 'baseball beanin's' was from said meteor shower. So there ain't no...'baseball bandit' as some of the townfolks were mutterin' about. That's just the usual small-town rumor mill workin' as y'all would expect.

Zach: Open and shut case really...

Dorian: How is yer paw by the way Vanna? From the...er'...meteor I mean...

Vanna: Well I can feel my paw pad again, so that's something.

Dorian: Good, good...*chuckles* glad to hear it. was worried that y'all got hit-er' scalded enough to damage some nerves....from handlin' the hot meteor I mean.

Zach: Speakin' of them meteors...I just...er' wanna give y'all a heads up that there may be another er...'random' meteor shower come this Saturday...

Dorian: Fer about three hours...between two and five o'clock....maybe longer iffin' it goes into extra innings...

Ask the Hunters; Problems with Pups

 Dawn: Ooh...I'm...I mean I'm sorry for what you and your la-er...pups are going through...but...I mean...are we really qualified to give parental advice Puppy?

Vernon: I dunno...we've only been parents fer a little over a year and a half now...Wait..."Mr. and Misses Hunter.."

Dawn: Oh, I just assumed that was a typo. But yes, that makes much more sense. I was about to suggest going to Audrey and Dorian for advice on such a weighty email.

Vernon: Well if anyone's qualified to take a crack at it, it'd be my Ma and Pa. They survived a household o' seven pups fer more than two decades, so I'd think they'd have a purty good idea on how to handle stuff like this better than us.

Audrey: Well, first I wanna thank y'all dearly fer the compliments about our pups.

Dorian: Considerin' y'all didn't make an exception fer Yuri when y'all mentioned up raising 'fantastic pups', it means we musta done somethin' right. *Chuckles*

Audrey: Well, I'd be lyin' iffin' I said we never worried about him...

Dorian: I was mostly worried about him endin' up on the wrong side of the bars...thankfully I was able to channel that rough and tumble aspect of his personality into police work while he was growin' up...

Audrey: Enough Darlin', he may be listenin'! Don't make our pup feel bad about himself now.

Dorian: Just tellin' it how it was at the time...the boy's come along way since then, and I'm really proud of him...I'm real proud of all you boys.

Vernon: Thanks Pa.

Audrey: When it comes to your oldest son...I....well I wouldn't want to run to the therapist just yet. Even mentionin' that might make him feel worse in his current state, as I hate to admit it, but there's still a big stigma when it comes ta' needin' therapy fer anythin', especially when yer young and insecure enough already...

Dorian: Yeah, a lotta' young fella's and ladies feel going to therapy is like...admittin' bein' damaged, or a weirdo...it's a hit to their confidence...which is real er...permeable when yer young. Like a soap bubble...one wrong move and it bursts.

Audrey: Ta' me, it sounds like the boy is just...takin' on a bit too much fer his own good, even if he isn't aware he's doin' it. It might be good to have a sit down with him, and talk to him about it bein' okay iffin' he wants to cut somethin' out of his life fer a while, or at least dial some of the time spent on such thangs fer the sake of his physical and mental well-bein'.

Dorian: I'd make sure to stress it's ultimately up to him what he does, but that you'll support him regardless. And iffin' he's still resistant, just tell him yer merely askin' him to think it over. It seems like yer boy has placed himself under a lotta pressure, so y'all don't want to end up dumpin' more on him. That's why reinforcin' that yer merely askin' him to think about things instead of tryin' to force his paw is yer best bet...I think.

Audrey: When it comes to yer youngest, well...to be honest, I mean...in the grand scheme o' things poor grades don't exactly mark y'all so badly fer life that y'all can't turn it around in college er' a technical school. It does strike me as odd that yer boy says the class he's failin' is one of his favorite subjects. Somethin' tells me he's not tellin' y'all the whole truth there.

Dorian: He may be tellin' ya'll that cause he believes it's important to y'all that he likes that subject...afraid that...er' showin' interest in somethin' else might...make y'all think less of him. The gods know I sorta...fell into that trap myself.

Audrey: It might be worth an earnest talk askin' yer boy iffin' he's 'really keen on the subject', and reassurin' him y'all won't think less of him iffin' he isn't. Sometimes y'all don't realize goin' into somethin' that it ain't as fun as y'all thought it would be.

Dorian: As fer his friends...that's tricky. Iffin' y'all start advisin' him to turn away from 'em, or come down hard on him seein' them at all, it stands a good chance of drivin' him toward them.

Audrey: Again, a lighter touch might be good for this sorta situation. Just tellin' him to be mindful of iffin' a situation feels...uneasy to him, and encouraging to go with his gut iffin' something feels wrong. Reassure him that y'all know he's a good pup, and he's got a good head on his shoulders. Iffin' his friends are bad enough, he'll eventually drift away from 'em. If not, then that troublin' behavior should start to even out.

Dorian: As fer how yer boys get along...that's the trickiest of all really.

Audrey: Some pups grow up real tight, and some...well that competitive wolf streak might get in the way and drive 'em apart.

Dorian: I'd say y'all made the right call puttin' their rooms farther apart. It's...somethin' we honestly shoulda' done with Yuri and Vern growin' up.

Audrey: Yeah...I...I mean, I'll admit I feel we took the wrong approach in tryin' to push them closer and closer together and figurin' it would work itself out. Sometimes distance can make fer a better relationship in the long run.

Dorian: O'course, y'all also have to accept that maybe y'all can't mend that bond...just cause someones blood-related don't mean they'll like each other.

Vernon: Like me and Yuri.

Audrey: Oh hush, y'all get along fine now.

Vernon: Well, we tolerate each other, if that's what you mean.

Dorian: However, case and point that yer pups are young. They're hot-headed and flush with hormones. When they get older, and that starts to even off, they'll probably end up gettin' along again...just like Vern and Yuri do now. Although considerin' you said yer boys had a good relationship before that, I imagine their prospects are better fer bein' good friends again in the future.

Vernon: Yeah, Yuri and I hated each other since we were barely out of diapers...our feud was purty long by comparison to yer boys.

Audrey: And just look at how far these two have come. Trust me, iffin' Vern and Yuri can at least learn to play nice after everythin' that's gone on between 'em, I think yer boys odds are purty good.

Found AU Ask; Lily as a Hall Monitor

 

 Vernon: Sweet Sawgrass *Sighs* Truth be told, I ain't a fan...both of Lily's current stint as a Hall Monitor, or their lil' AV club webisodes...and especially not goin' around gettin' themselves into dangerous situations as junior detectives...but...there ain't much I can do iffin' I don't wanna alienate my lil' princess from me.

Dawn: Well, to be honest...I do worry when Lily stumbles onto...er...much bigger schemes than 'who's been selling fountain sodas under the table'. But other than that I mean, I'm just glad she's happy.

Vernon: Oh don't get me wrong...I'm happy fer her bein' happy too. That smile o' her's makes my heart swell up with love. But...It's gettin' harder and harder to hold on to my hope that this is all just some phase she's gonna grow outta eventually. And if I gotta let that go...well...then I gotta move onto learnin' to accept it.

Judy: Not to...twist the knife that much deeper Vernon, but...I mean, I was obsessed with policing since I was a kit...

Nick: And look at old Carrots now! *Chuckles* She's probably the top cop at the station...and...I've heard whispers that if Bogo retires, Carrot's is looking like his top pick to replace him.

Judy: Psh! Bogo isn't retiring for a long while, and even so, I'm probably the last mammal he'd want to put in his place.

Nick: Stranger things have happened...like that 'narcotics ring' your daughter stumbled onto...

Vernon: *Places a paw over his face and groans softly*...

Dorian: I would maybe chalked that up to dumb luck, if not fer the whole 'caught that neighbor plannin' to murder his wife and defraud and insurance company' thing too. At this point I'm thinkin' that lil' Miss is so gifted she ain't even aware of all the cues she's pickin' up on a subconscious level...it's like..it's beyond Hunter's intuition at that point...*Chuckles*

Vernon: *Lets out a soft, sad whine...*

Dawn: *Wraps her hooves around her mate, nuzzling his cheek.* There, there Puppy...

Vernon: I'm supposed to protect Lily....I'm her Pa! How am I supposed to protect that pup iffin' she goes off workin' a career that throws her in harms way every day?

Audrey: Vernon, I've felt what yer feelin' believe you me. *Audrey sits down next to the couple, also wrapping her paws around the wolf and hugging him* Between yer Pa, and yer brothers I've been afraid for 'em every day. Still am...

Vernon: *Whimpers*

Audrey: But at the end of the day, what was I gonna do? Trap y'all in the house and never let y'all go outside? *Audrey shakes her head* That'd be selfish fer me to monopolize yer lives like that, to keep y'all from spreadin' yer wings and figurin' out who y'all were and what ya loved...not to mention it'd woulda' made y'all hate me.

Vernon: I-I know Ma...but...

Audrey: Y'all gotta be supportive Honey, even iffin' what yer pup's doin' scares you to death. Because at the end of the day, it's their life to live...not yers. Y'all need to decide whether or not yer gonna turn away from that because of the pain, 'er iffin' you'll grin and bear it as y'all stand on the sidelines cheerin' her on...

Vernon: I know yer right...I just...*chuckles softly* I just want a few more years to lie to myself is all...just let her be my lil' princess fer a lil' longer...

Dorian: *Chuckles* Now that sounds just like yer Ma..., askin' the gods fer just a few more years of puphood to coddle you boys...

Audrey: *Glares at Dorian*

Dorian: *Shrinking back slightly* O-o'course I wasn't all that much better...whatchin' yer pups grow is probably the most beautiful and painful thang a parent can experience. It feels like it just zips by sometimes...and before y'all know it yer pups are off gettin' tithed. In the end, y'all are torn between pride and sadness. But I think it's safe to say that pride and joy always wins out. Personally, I think that Lily will shine when she grows up, regardless of what career she ultimately chooses to go into. But fer now, y'all still got plenty of time left to watch her grow into that spectacular mammal one day, and be there to help her reach that goal.

Audrey: That was beautiful Dori...*Sniffles*

Vernon: T-that was...and thank y'all...that actually...helped a lil'...

Judy: Nick, are you crying?

Nick: N-No? Of course *Sniffle* n-not Carrots...I j-just...*Sniffle* got some sand in my eye is all...

Judy: We're nowhere near Sahara Square right now Nick, what are you-

Nick: Who is chopping onions!? *Snort*

Ask Dorian; Too tired for Law Enforcement

Found AU Ask; Marcus' Adoption Hearing

 

Dorian: I think I can safely speak fer the pack by sayin' that we were purty much over the moon about Marcus' officially becomin' part of the family.

Audrey: We were hootin' and hollerin' so loud I'm surprised we didn't bring the courthouse down! *Giggles*

Dorian: Even Yuri, who swears he ain't big on pups seemed purty happy fur the boy.

Audrey: He can swear up and down pups don't get to him, but actions speak louder than words. All it takes is a few moments with Marcus er' Lily and that boy melts. *Snicker* even iffin' he refuses to admit it.

Dorian: What can I say, that boy has mine and my Pa's stubbornness all rolled up into one mammal. But he's still got a Hunter's heart.

Audrey: And his Ma's too...

Dorian: Y'all know what I meant! *Smooches Audrey* Wouldn't have it any other way either...

Audrey: Well, all that aside, I am sorry y'all couldn't be there fer the hearin' Luce and Pascha...

Padaprascha: Yes, I do wish we could have been here to see it, but I feel spending time with our new grandkitten has more than well made up for it.

Lucero: He's an amazing boy! Reminds me so much of myself when I was younger!

Padaprascha: You? *Shakes Head* No, Marcus is a sweet boy. *Giggles*

Lucero: Ah, you've got me there...I'll freely admit I was a bit of a hellion growing up back in Mane. *Chuckles* Still I'm so proud of Marcus, and how far he's come. And that goes double for our daughter and son-in-law!

Padaprascha: If I'm being honest we...were getting a little antsy to get grandkittens. We were beginning to wonder if we ever would at the rate things were going...

Lucero: Not to speak ill of our little Myra, but she's...well we've never seen her as the type of girl that would....settle down and raise cubs...She's a...hmm....a 'free spirit'.

Padaprascha: Yes...that is one word for it.

Lucero: So naturally when we found out about Marcus we ourselves were, as the Hunter's put it, "Over the moon!"My only regret is that they don't live closer to us! Zootopia is quite a far distance from San Furnando, and now that we have a grandkitten to fawn over not being just a stone's throw away from being able to see him feels like we're doing him a disservice!

Padaprascha: I must admit, it's quite heartbreaking to leave after each visit.

Lucero: Perhaps that settles it! I think we should look into moving here!

Padaprascha: M-Moving? From San Furnando?

Dorian: Lookin' to settle in the North Meadowlands eh? I think I can get y'all in touch with a few realtors I know iffin' yer really interested.

Padaprascha: But what about Myra?

Lucero: Myra is an adult, she can take care of herself. Marcus needs in Grandparents now!

Padaprascha: But moves are always so stressful...and we'd have to sell our house and move across country...

Lucero: Think of the kitten Pasha!

Padaprascha: A-Alright...I'm willing to move if you are my Love.

Lucero: Then it is settled, we will begin looking as soon as we get home!

Audrey: That's...a purty big decision to make that quickly...

Padaprascha: That's my Lucero...when he sets his mind to something, he does not second guess, he simply moves forward. For better or worse. *Giggles*

FOUND AU ask; Marcus' and the Piano

 

Audrey: As I said before, it's just more time spent with my grandpup, so I can't get enough! *Giggles*

Dorian: I mean, of course we love havin' our pups come home to visit. Our door is always open to 'em and their packs, so havin' Marcus visit so often to practice piano with my Darlin' Auddey is always a treat. And o' course I already loved the piano, so havin' not one, but two experts around to play really somethin' else...

Audrey: Aww.... Always so sweet my Suga' Wolf...

Dorian: That said, I hopin' I can find something to share with the boy myself...maybe somethin' like fishin', or archery er' somethin'...

Audrey: Archery!? Don't y'all think that's kinda dangerous what with Marcus bein' so shy and all?

Dorian: I meant later o'course...when he's more comfortable. Besides, Zach tells me the boy is a crack shot when it comes to baseball...

Audrey: A crack shot in baseball?

Dorian: In the same way Wade was a...er...real crack shot at hockey...

Audrey: Oh...OH...Oh my...Now I understand why Zach was sportin' them bandages...

Dorian: That's why I figured archery might be a good fit...somethin' that redirects the boys...natural talents where hittin' a target is the goal...

Ask the Parents; Lovey Dovey Talk

 

Audrey: Oh we used to terrorize the boys with our lil' 'lovey dovey' talk.

Dorian: I remember Yuri used to always start fake retchin' whenever we'd be getting' affectionate in front them. *Shakes head* That boy used to put on such a performance, I swear.

Vernon: He really gave it his all, so much so that I'm pretty sure he actually threw up that one time.

Yuri: Don't act like y'all were so much better! We was all gaggin' whenever the 'pet names' came out....I was just...already kinda sick that day...so pushin' it wasn't the best idea...

Dorian: I was a purty good way to get the boys outta the house that's fur sure...*Chuckles*

Audrey: All I needed to say was “Oh my Dori dear...my lil white suga' wolf...”

Yuri: And the nausea is comin' right back...Bleccch!

Dorian: *Chuckles* Aw knock it off...y'all are too old to be actin' this way...Ya got she-wo-...mate's o' yer own now.

Vernon: I suppose that's one upside. *Chuckles* We may have suffered under watchin' our parents get all gooey with one another when we was pups, but now that I got a pack of my own, I get the distinct pleasure of doin' the same thing to my pups, ain't that right Honey Lamb?

Dawn: *Giggles* Of course, my Darling Puppy Love....

*Vernon bends down to plant a soft kiss on Dawn's lips.*

Allison and Edison: EWWW! GROSSS!

Edison: I'm gonna spew!

Vernon: *Chuckles*

Audrey: Just wait till the day comes where y'all get to show embarassin' pup photos to the mates they bring home...* Giggles*

Dawn: Speaking of, do you still have that picture of Vernon naked in the mud puddle? *Giggles* It's so cute, and I'd love a copy I could frame...

Audrey: O' course Darlin', I can make y'all as many copies as you need!

Vernon: Hey, hey, hold on now...don't I get a say in this?

Dorian: Sorry there Pup, yer' still a few years off before it's yer turn to embarrass yer pups. *Chuckles* The ball is still in our court fer the time bein'...

Ask Dorian; Our Role with the ZPD

 

Dorian: Technically yes, as both districts are considered part of Zootopia, that makes us part of the same big ol' ZPD family. However, obviously there are some differences in the laws per district. Fer instance, strict water regulation laws ain't gonna be as necessary in “The Rainforest District” compared to “Sahara Square”, And the same would go fer ice construction regulations in “Tundra Town” compared to “Savanna Central”. One big difference between us and the inner city ZPD is our laxer live firearm ownership laws. While ownin' any sorta live munition weapon in the city is illegal unless yer with the ZPD or the Reserve, Out here y'all can get a permit fer a wide variety of guns and ammo. O'course, it's a necessity out here. The fact that were so rural means that us officers can't always be out to someone's property in a blink, so the need to be able to fend fer yerself is more pressin'. There's also wildlife to deal with, some of which can be more dangerous than others.

Also, we don't get to work with the inner-city branches all to often. As I said before, The North Meadowlands is purty rural, same fer Alpine Glade. Both Districts are also much larger than the others, so much so that it makes callin' Zootopia a 'city-state' much more accurate than just refferin' to it as a mega-city. Essentially we only work with the inner city when it's a massive case, er' a suspect is believed to have made a run out to our area in an effort to use the ruralness of the place to better hide out. Last time we had any big co-operative cases with the rest of the districts was with the “Last Night” Case. O' course, that should make sense to y'all seein' as how there were co-conspirators hidin' in almost every district.

Ask Dorian; Sheriff's Office Party

Dorian: We have a sorta modest Yule party. It's usually about a week er' two before the holiday, partly because most of us have our own family Yule get together's planned, but also we like to have the part goin' while were doin' the whole Santa Claws bit fer underprivileged and orphaned pups. O'course, the whole Santa Claws thang is generally done durin' the earlier part of the day, so we have the pups and lambs cleared out by the time we're havin' the official party.

As fer 'volenteerin', well as I may o' mentioned durin' that whole ask a few weeks back that we have a system in place in terms of pickin' Santa's fer the year. Generally we just draw straws, and whoever pulls the short one gets the job, with the second shortest draw net's y'all the position of Santa's helper. It's not much more complicated than that, other than y'all get immunity fer next year's draw if y'all pull the short straw the previous year. And seein' as how I played Santa this year, that mean's I ain't gotta do it next year.

I mean, I'll be honest, I love seein' pup's and lamb's gleeful smiles when they meet me. But I really don't care all that much fer how often I get...er...marked by accident. Let's just say the cleanin' bill on the station's set of Santa costumes is real, real pricey.

FOUND AU ASK; Lily's Great Pie Caper!

 

Dorian: Proud? Are y'all kiddin' me? *Chuckles* I'm over the moon! She-.

Vernon: It weren't... I mean anyone coulda' put together who done it. Right? It don't mean-

Dorian: Anyone coulda'!? Oh please, she wasn't just ahead o' the rest of you boys, she was ahead o' me too! Granted, I wasn't exactly...lookin' to deeply into who ate a pie.

Vernon: Pa, please...

Dorian: And the way she explained how she figured it out, goin' over all her leads and their alibi's before tellin' revealin' it was Qali! That's classic etectives intuition! Y'all can't even teach th-

Vernon: MY Pup is NOT going to be a DETECTIVE, er a POLICE OFFICER! GOT THAT!? She's my little princess, and that's all. T-This cop stuff is just a phase is all...

Dorian: I'd say the princess stuff is a phase Vern. Y'all can't exactly grow up to be a career princess, but with a mind as sharp as that, at her age? She-.

Vernon: Then she can be a scientist! Er' a mathmatician' er' somethin'!

Dorian: Vernon...y'all don't by any chance remember what my Pa did to me, do ya?

Audrey: Or what yer Pa did to you?

Dorian: Y-yeah...

Vernon: *Whining* B-but I know she don't wanna be a cop! I know it's just a phase!

Audrey: But if she does, are y'all gonna do the right thang? Or will y'all be a stubborn as yer ol' Pa?

Dorian: HEY! I...I mean I got over it...

Audrey: Mhh-Hmm...

Dorian: Eventually!

Audrey: About twenty years too late.

Dorian: It'd be 'too late' if we hadn't mended thangs!

Audrey: Look, Puppy, I just want y'all to be careful. I don't want y'all stiflin' the pup's dreams because yer scared, or y'all had a bad experience. Y'all need to be understanding, and accept what Lily wants to do with her life when the time comes. If she wants to be a cop, tryin' to push her away from it'll only push her away from you.

Vernon: I KNOW! L-Look...If...and this is a big ol' if, she decides she...wants...to...maybe be a police officer....when she's eighteen. I'll...I...I will try to support her...As long as the rest of y'all ain't pushin' her into it!

Dorian: What're we gonna do?

Vernon: Keep brainwashin' her like y'all are already!

Dorian: Brainwashin'!? Y'all sound nuttier than yer lil' brother! I'll have y'all know...

Vernon and Dorian: *Bickering Continues*

Audrey: Y'all Hunter boys, always so damn stubborn...*Chuckles* At least I know Dawn will be around to keep y'all in check...