Gideon: Well...iffin' ya have me hard-pressed to pick some out...I er...well I mean we live in a purty 'bunny dense' county. I mean, our town is called 'Bunnyburrow' fer cryin' out loud. Also, bunny weddin's are....big business. Still, I don't want to make it seem like it's exclusively a bunny thang but-.
Sharla: Well I'm not afraid to say it, almost all bunny brides are real bridezillas...just to varying degrees.
Gideon: D-Darlin' please-...
Sharla: All of our horror stories usually involve a bunny bride. Our worst stories specifically focus on Jilly Hopps, as she's been back to us for three different marriages.
Gideon: Ehh...yeah Jilly was...she's real...disagreeable...
Sharla: That's sugarcoating it. She almost always came in three sheets to the wind, making demands like she was some sort of dictator by virtue of throwing our partnership with the Hopps family farm out between every daiquiri-fumed breath.
Gideon; Also usually ate two cakes worth o' samples every time she came in despite knowin' the flavors purty well by then...
Sharla: The puking in our toilet and bawling about getting married...Gods, the last time she came in she actually had the gall to hit on you! I nearly tossed her out on her ass right there!
Gideon: Y-yeah...that was real uncomfortable...her whisperen' slurred sweet nothin's up to me...breath smellin' o' sick and sour alcohol...*shudders*. I didn't take her fer a crosser...
Sharla: She's pushin' fifty with three failed marriages, at this point she's desperate for anything...oh, and of course at the end of it all she makes sure to bring up the 'Hopps family discount'....real classy rabbit that one...
Gideon: Most o' the Hopps don't even ask fer it outta respect fer our smaller family...
Sharla: Weddings aside, again bunnies tend to be our rudest customers...whether it's casual or overt speciesism toward my mate, I'm looking at you Misses Hoppley...
Gideon: Well, she's pushin' a hundred years old...old lady is set in her ways. Then there's also the...y'know...I mean I picked on a lotta the younger folks who come in when we were younger...I sorta expec-...
Sharla: We're all adults now, it's time to grow up and out of that sort of thing. You did, so what excuse do they really have? Oh also, then there are the bunnies that have trouble with us being an interspecies couple, yet still, come to us for all their baking needs! A few of them have landed themselves on the 'banned for life' list because I caught them whispering about us.
Gideon: Now Darlin'...
Sharla: I don't know what it is about middle-aged, single does, but they love their gossip...oh and don't get me started on how insanely picky some of them are, especially when it comes to carrot cake! It's like, if you want it the way 'your mother makes it', then lamb shanks just have your mother make it and leave us out of it!
Gideon: Black Forest Cake...yer bubblin' over...this is gonna be bad fer our publicity...
Sharla: O-Oh! Sorry, sugar-fox...I just...I've been bottling a lot up I guess...sometimes I wonder if it would have been better or worse to pick up and move the business to Zootopia instead of staying here...
Gideon: It's alright Darlin' I understand. And even if we had been the family to pack up shop here, we'd still need someone to operate this arm of the business and deliver supplies up to our city store from the Hopps' place. Easier to let some of the Hopps run our city store since a few of them were aspirin' bakers lookin' to follow after Judy in terms of tryin' their paws at city livin'...me, fer the occasional trouble we run into livin' and workin' how we do out here well...I'm always gonna prefer country livin'.
Sharla: Yeah...and I suppose it was better for our pups too. They may get teased from time to time, but as I've heard from Judy with her pups, it's no better in the city when it comes to that...
Gideon: Kits can be real cruel...y'all can trust me on that one...
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