Dawn: -So remember, use promo code 'BellHunterTrial' for a free month of 'Awoo'dable.
Vernon: And hey, why not pick up a copy of 'Predator Seekin' Prey' while yer at it. Now in audiobook form.
Dawn: Narrated by yours truly, as well as my mate Vernon...at least for the chapter I could get him to agree to read...*Snickers*
Vernon: Heh...yeah...It took me long enough to get comfortable with the fact that our bedroom laundry was out there ta' begin with....so askin' me ta' narrate it...*audibly shudders*
Dawn: Gazelle was willing to read to more...explicit passages for the book. Thanks again Gazelle!
Vernon: So...we done with the sponsors? *Vernon whines softly, clearly uncomfortable.*
Dawn: *Dawn giggles* That's all of this month's sponsors, so now we move on to everyone's favorite segment on the Predator Seeking Prey podcast, the 'Ask the BellHunters' segment.
Vernon: Fer ya' new listeners out there, that's the part where we answer emails submitted by the audience. That said, as much as we love actual hoofwritten letters, our business PO box will thank y'all for sending your questions and concerns digitally...*Chuckles*
Dawn: Seriously, before we left the old apartment and started remodeling the house, half of our shared office was filled with mail...*Laughs*
Vernon: Then it turned inta' the corner of the living room with Alli and Edi...
Dawn: Anyway, let's get to our first question...
Dawn: It seems someone, or someone close to them, is keeping up with my dream analysis blog...
Vernon: Didn't even know y'all had a 'dream' blog. Not that I'd wanna pry 'er 'nothin...
Dawn: Nothing really to pry into, I never meant for it to be a private thing, and I already share my dreams with you first and foremost. Good or bad. My therapist, Dr. Gnu advised it. Well, he advised just getting a dream journal at first. But with the nature of my dreams, he thought doing a public blog might be worthwhile. Both for interspecies pred-prey couples out there, as well as just those mammals out there struggling with feelings of deep guilt or shame over past mistakes. I called it 'Counting Sins'. I do hope the pun title is apparent to most of our viewers.
Vernon: It's cute...sad, but cute.
Dawn: Naturally, I try to withhold anything deeply personal from my recounted dreams when it comes to the public blog...
Vernon: Savin' that 'fer the books huh? *Snickers*
Dawn: Well, my publisher often says 'save the juiciest cuts of meat for the barby', which I assume is a predator expression.
Vernon: Not just pred, sounds Austailian. Which makes sense since that gal's a Tasmaneian Devil...
Dawn: Anyway, the 'reptile' dream was one of my...more absurd shares. Vernon and I were at a book signing, and everything seemed normal...except...
Vernon: Except?
Dawn: Well, every so often, a lizard or snake... even a gator at one point would show up and ask for a signature. As if they were just like any other mammal. And neither one of us blinked. Like it was just normal.
Vernon: Well, a lot o' mammals do treat their pets like thier sentient already...mighta taken a literal lean in yer dream.
Dawn: In retrospect, it just reminds me of all those lamb movies with talking birds and reptiles from when we were little.
Vernon: I mean, maybe I'm just biased...but I feel like the ninties saw an oversaturation' o' talking lizard and bird movies. Always goin' off on big adventures and lookin' fer thier owners...er playin' gridiron.
Dawn: I don't think there's a lamb from our generation who doesn't remember 'Monitor Linebacker'. Granted, that one didn't talk...
Vernon: *Doing a bostonian accent to the best of his ability.* "There's nothing in the rulebook that says a Monitor Lizard can't play grid iron."
Dawn: Pft. *Let's out a giggling snort* Oh no! Cut that in post! Please...I can't let anyone hear my snort laugh...
Vernon: Notin' it down, 45:58...*Scribbling is heard* cut adorkable snort.
Dawn: *Ahem* Anyway, it was the casual factor that made it...so strange...The gator even mentioned he was from the Canal District, but even though the environment would be perfect for gators, they're very highly regulated there to make sure most of the canals remain safe for swimming.
Vernon: Right. Otherwise, otter and beaver folk would go missin' constantly...gators are notoriously hard ta' train.
Dawn: It was a silly dream...I guess I wanted to share it to offset the dreams with a more serious tone...so the blog wasn't all gloom and doom nightmares.
Vernon: Like yer' "I'm still a criminal and want revenge dreams'?
Dawn: *Is quiet, but is presumed to have nodded.* Exactly...*Let's out a shuddering trill* Every once and a while I have these...awful nightmares where I'm still in Alpine Crag, just stewing in hatred and self-loathing and plotting some elaborate revenge plot for the original...Night Howler business...As if I've learned nothing, spent no time reflecting on myself, and I just...*whimpers softly.* What's worse is usually I'm not in my own body in these dreams...I'm just...watching myself. Trying to call out to myself, to appeal to my reason...like I'm my own conscience.
Vernon: Aw....Darlin'...
Dawn: Gazellenapping Gazelle is one that frequently comes up. Some sort of overarching scheme to get back at her, the city, and Nick and Judy all in one big operation...
Vernon: Is that the one where ya dyed yer wool purple and had purple zebra stripes dyed on yer arms and legs?
Dawn: YES! Which is crazy...first off...I may not be a big fashionista, but even I could tell you that's a fashion disaster!
*Vernon snickers*
Dawn: I may not have much of one, but I do have fashion sense, and that look offends my sense of style...I don't even think there was a zebra gang at Alpine Crag, and even if there was, why would they let me into it?
Vernon: And purple stripes? What are ya, that Zebra gum mascot?
Dawn: *Snickers* But still...every dream where I'm forced to watch myself try and get some...petty maligned revenge just...it makes me sick to my stomach. And I always wake up in tears...
Vernon: I know Honey Lamb...I know...*Whines* I'm glad I can be there when ya wake up from most of 'em...though it makes them tour trips I can't follow along with all the more painful 'iffin I know I can't be there when ya wake up from one o' them dreams...
Dawn: I know Puppy Love...I know...*A scuffling noise is heard, followed by what sounds like soft, competing grunts from both Dawn and Vern, indicating they're hugging.* Thank you for being there...
Vernon: Hey, fer' life remember...half moons and rings and the whole nine...*Chuckles*
Dawn: *Giggles* Yes, I remember the tithe. *Sighs warmly* Y'know...I-hmm...It's only sort of related, but there's another dream I used to have a lot too in prison and after being released. One that lies between absurd and distressing...
Vernon: The Tundratown one?
Dawn: Yes! It's the one where I've either escaped from jail...or I'm just...in Tundratown for some reason. I'm on the side of this...endless stretch of icy highway...and I have to run across, dodging cars and hopping over ice flows. The whole time I'm not really getting anywhere, because there's just more highway ahead of me, but I keep running, all the while growing more hopeless and discouraged...and so cold...
Vernon: Ya' don't have it anymore?
Dawn: Well...after we met, and made our little family I-...I see you now. You and the lambs are in a helicopter just ahead of me. Reaching out to meet me as I run...Sometimes I reach you all, sometimes I don't quite make it before waking up first...but the hopelessness is gone. Because I have a goal I'm reaching for, something worth running a seemingly endless marathon for.
Vernon: Honey Lamb...*Audible thumping is heard briefly before coming to an abrupt stop.*
Dawn: No amount of padding can keep that monster tail off the mic when it starts wagging can it? *Giggles*
Vernon: Seriously, the audio reading went from zero ta' ten, even with them throw pillows strapped to it...Hold on...*Scribbling* 47:04, remove 'enthusiastic' waggin'...
*Dawn snickers*
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