Joel: Believe me, none of us are under any sort of delusions that Hippos were herbivores...or defenseless. Not after the whole 'Massetdler' fiasco.
Gus: While I know it's probably a case-by-case basis for each hippo, I can't help but admit Massetdlr made me think a hippo's diets largely consisted of pure garbage. I mean, he practically drained every vending machine we had in the store when he visited, and gobbled down the food without giving even the slightest indication he actually tasted it.
Vernon: Massetdlr? That's the fella y'all banned right?
Gus: Oh yeah, he still holds the prestigious position of being the first and only customer banned from my store to this very day.
Vernon: Is that cause he was a creeper? I remember y'all talkin' about him comin' on to Melly and Val a couple o' times.
Broomie: It would have been bad enough if that was all he did...Cervidwen's hooves that guy was an absolute nightmare.
Gus: Overly aggressive and childish when it came to any games other customers were willing to let him participate him. Always hogging the game system demo stations like he was in an eighties arcade and had a day's worth of quarters stacked on the machine panel. To top that all off he had a nasty habit of eavesdropping on games he wasn't invited to either.
Joel: Yeesh...I remember...Nothing like having a massive mammal looming over you to trigger that primal prey fight or flight response.
Vernon: *Chuckles* Prey aren't the only mammals who got a fight er' flight. Even ancient preds feared bigger mammals, and were sometimes hunted by other preds. And the gods know I felt that fear too when he was standin' behind me...just...breathin' loudly.
Joel: At least that's all he was doing. I had to listen to his horrible...lippy smacky slurpy noises as he decimated the mound of food he pulled from the candy and chip machines.
Broomie: Didn't he ruin your character sheet that day? He drooled on it right?
Joel: Dropped a massive plop of Hippo saliva right on it. Well, saliva mixed with chocolate chunks and powdered cheese...ugh...*shudders* At least I had a backup copy but 'mam, that sheet was totaled.
Gus: He also defaced a few of my displays with his...weird drawings. Seriously...there were so many things I tried to overlook because he was a big spender, but at the end of the day keeping him around just wasn't worth the stress.
Joel: Well that, and the fact he tried to pepper spray you.
Gus: Thankfully he missed my eyes, but I had to close the store for a whole day after that just to air it out.
Joel: Speaking of 'airing things out', do all hippos smell that rank, or had he just never heard of personal hygiene?
Vernon: Hoo yeah...hard to believe a mammal whose ancestors spent so much time in water could stink that badly...
Broomie: You know, I heard he got arrested recently. Actually looks like he's going to jail this time, granted I can't really remember why...
Gus: Finally, I knew his luck had to run out at some point. He always managed to get away with a slap on the wrist before. That said, it's surprising you don't remember what he did this time if it was so serious.
Broomie: I don't know why, I just know it was really bad. Bad enough that I think that my mind might be actively suppressing the memory in order to spare my sanity.
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