Gus: I prefer to handle most of them myself. Not only because I'm the manager and the only one with the authority to enforce store bans. But also Val's preferred methods of dealing with problematic customers almost always have a good chance of getting me in legal hot water.
Val: Name one thing I've done to get rid of a customer that could get you sued.
Gus: Sweet Sawgrass do I even? Okay, how about the hot sauce squirt gun? The multi-sided dice launcher? Sweet Cerviden's Hooves, hitting them in the face with a spoiled whipped cream pie out of a mini trebuche? I have to applaud the inventiveness but still, what are you a clown?
Val: Oh come on, that's harmless!
Gus: Legally all of its assault, and could financially ruin me should any of those mammals take me to court.
Val: Well I could go back to just flirting with them and then when they take the bait I totally shut them down in the most loud and humiliating ways imaginable. But sticking to just that gets boring after a while, and I like to spice things up.
Gus: Look, I'm only asking that you stick to methods that don't involve any physical contact or interaction.
Val: Ah...So I guess I better table this whole 'thumbtack launcher' thing I was working on then?
(Gus glares at Val in disapproval.)
Gus: What do you think?
No comments:
Post a Comment