FOUND AU ASK; Lily's Great Pie Caper!

 

Dorian: Proud? Are y'all kiddin' me? *Chuckles* I'm over the moon! She-.

Vernon: It weren't... I mean anyone coulda' put together who done it. Right? It don't mean-

Dorian: Anyone coulda'!? Oh please, she wasn't just ahead o' the rest of you boys, she was ahead o' me too! Granted, I wasn't exactly...lookin' to deeply into who ate a pie.

Vernon: Pa, please...

Dorian: And the way she explained how she figured it out, goin' over all her leads and their alibi's before tellin' revealin' it was Qali! That's classic etectives intuition! Y'all can't even teach th-

Vernon: MY Pup is NOT going to be a DETECTIVE, er a POLICE OFFICER! GOT THAT!? She's my little princess, and that's all. T-This cop stuff is just a phase is all...

Dorian: I'd say the princess stuff is a phase Vern. Y'all can't exactly grow up to be a career princess, but with a mind as sharp as that, at her age? She-.

Vernon: Then she can be a scientist! Er' a mathmatician' er' somethin'!

Dorian: Vernon...y'all don't by any chance remember what my Pa did to me, do ya?

Audrey: Or what yer Pa did to you?

Dorian: Y-yeah...

Vernon: *Whining* B-but I know she don't wanna be a cop! I know it's just a phase!

Audrey: But if she does, are y'all gonna do the right thang? Or will y'all be a stubborn as yer ol' Pa?

Dorian: HEY! I...I mean I got over it...

Audrey: Mhh-Hmm...

Dorian: Eventually!

Audrey: About twenty years too late.

Dorian: It'd be 'too late' if we hadn't mended thangs!

Audrey: Look, Puppy, I just want y'all to be careful. I don't want y'all stiflin' the pup's dreams because yer scared, or y'all had a bad experience. Y'all need to be understanding, and accept what Lily wants to do with her life when the time comes. If she wants to be a cop, tryin' to push her away from it'll only push her away from you.

Vernon: I KNOW! L-Look...If...and this is a big ol' if, she decides she...wants...to...maybe be a police officer....when she's eighteen. I'll...I...I will try to support her...As long as the rest of y'all ain't pushin' her into it!

Dorian: What're we gonna do?

Vernon: Keep brainwashin' her like y'all are already!

Dorian: Brainwashin'!? Y'all sound nuttier than yer lil' brother! I'll have y'all know...

Vernon and Dorian: *Bickering Continues*

Audrey: Y'all Hunter boys, always so damn stubborn...*Chuckles* At least I know Dawn will be around to keep y'all in check...

Ask Dawn and Vern; Experiments on Mammalkind

 

Vernon: No trouble at all, in fact it's encouraged...

Dawn: Joking aside...is this a serious question? Honestly? If so, I think you can probably guess what most of Animalia's nations have to say about that sort of thing. Probably several densely worded legal documents in fact, peppered with words like 'un-mammalian', 'war crimes', and 'death penalty'.

Vernon: Yeah, aside from what Ully might tell ya, that sort of stuff has been very, very illegal since after the great rodent migration in the late 1940's to early 50's, after all them horror stories and documents came out about what certain nations did to solve their perceived 'rodent problem'. There's still sanctions placed on some of them places to this day.

Dawn: Maybe if you lived in a really bad third world country you could get away with that...or were a super-villian with your own private island in international waters to perform such experiments on.

Val: She probably knows what she's talking about, as an ex-super villian and all...

Vernon: HEY! VAL!?

Dawn: Who LET you in the house!?

Val: I copied your Mom's spare key. Y'know, in case I needed it...

Vernon: To steal out of our fridge again?

Val: Well, what's a few cold pizza slices and Mountain Dog's between family, eh sis?

Dawn: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!

 

Gus: Amplify. *shakes head* definitely amplify.

Vernon: Yeah, them two seem to draw out the worst aspects of one another when set in the same room.

Gus: I always took Ulric for a harmless goof, right?

Vernon: He is.

Gus: I know, but when he had the three of us up on the school's roof that night, I mean...I was already nervous. It was the most drastic thing he'd ever done. So I was...less certain I had him pegged right. But Joel being Joel...he just couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Broomie: Joel started egging him on, and playing into his delusions and just...amping him up to the point where he was raving like a mad dog.

Gus: Started raving? He was raving like a mad dog when he got us up there.

Broomie: Okay, fine. A madder dog then.

Gus: I remember when Joel started egging him to throw him off the roof. Remember that Broomie?

Broomie: How could I forget? Sweet Sawgrass...He was daring him. Telling him he wouldn't do it. Even called him a pussy.

Vernon: Didn't y'all tell me that Joel said once Ully threw him, he'd fly? Somethin' like that?

Gus: Apparently the type of alien your brother thought he was could fly somehow? Something about fake wool hiding air sacks in his neck? It was hard to understand, by that point Joel had him worked up to the point where all his words were bleeding together. But Joel said that once he flew back up, he would melt Ulric's brain with his laser vision.

Vernon:*Shakes Head* Lamb Sakes...

Gus: *Chuckles* Lamb Sakes?

Vernon: Sorry, the misses vocabulary is startin' to bleed into mine. *Chuckles*

Broomie: At least you had the brilliant idea of convincing Ulric to chloroform Joel again. For his own protection of course...I was too busy freaking out to manage to keep my cool like that.

Gus: Yeah, Joel still act like that was some sort of great betrayl on my part. *Snorts* It's like 'Dude, you were toying with a mentally unstable persons already fragile psyche!” It's like, did he want him to kill us?

Vernon: Ully would never do that.

Gus: Under normal circumstances, sure. But... I mean you didn't see the look in his eyes that night Vern. While Joel was teasing him. There was a moment there...I was sure we were going off the roof, one after the other.

Vernon:...Have I mentioned lately how grateful my family was that y'all didn't press charges?

Gus: Not enough times.

Ask Dawn; South Ursa Relations

 

Dawn: Generally speaking, Zootopia relation with the rest of the world powers are....well they are more positive than negative. There has always been a bit more tension between us, and Grussia, or us and Mainland Panda, but that has largely been a bleed over from the North Mammalian Nations own relationship with those countries. Granted, I am aware my book has only...furthered such tensions. I know for a fact it was banned in Panda and Grrussian, as well as numerous Northern Afrikat and South Mammalian countries for promoting a 'deviant lifestyle.' You've said it yourself, a great deal of the...less western Animalian aligned countries are...to them interspecies relationships are a symptom of social decay. Of course, that sort of accusation has been levied at Zootopia more than once for significantly lesser 'social' crimes.

In terms of my book, well, it's more of a....its largely in it's own bottle. I'm not the Assistant Mayor or Mayor anymore, merely a citizen. So in terms of my book souring relations between Zootopia and other countries anymore than they already were, the impact was minimal. Zootopia has largely had a decent relationship with the nations of South Ursa, and Singapurr, and I don't see that being severely strained due to my works. Although I know my book is pointed to by some as yet more proof at how immoral the 'Zootopian' way of life is. But as I said, it was merely something to add to the list some mammals were already keeping as to why Zootopia was a bad place. It wasn't going to change the hearts of mammals with that sort of outlook on the city at large.

I'm glad to hear there has been little protest in your area due to my book, and I do hope your country does move forward with providing benefits to mixed species families. While I don't know if you are in an interspecies relationship yourself, I can imagine you will at least agree that those of us in such relationships aren't hurting anyone. We just love who we love, and all we want is to be allowed that. I personally believe marriage, tithing, whatever name anyone else myight have for it, between two consenting mammals is an Animalian right, and I hope as the years go on, more countries will arrive at the same conclusion.

Ask Dawn; Zootopia Census Follow-up

 

Dawn: Right, right, Little Rodentia. I did inadvertently include Rodentia's population as part of Savannah Central's total. I apologize for that. It's a bad habit I picked up from my time working under Leodore. He would always forget about Little Rodentia as he didn't really consider it a 'real' district behind closed doors, and since I couldn't...well he wouldn't accept my corrections, so it eventually just became easier to tell him what he wanted to hear. Anyway, so...right. Little Rodentia makes up a whopping 1.5million of the residents of Savannah Central. Not counting them leaves the population at 5.5 million in Savannah Square.

As for the islands, such as Animalia's World Fair and Outback Island, as I said the population is negligible. We're talking 1-5,000 in terms of Animalia's world fair, and maybe less that 20,000 mammals living on Outback Island, if you count inmates and employees, as it's only real purpose is to house a prison. So both of those population measures, while notable, are comparatively small.

 Oh, and Animalia Fair Island is sort of hard to explain. It's an amusement park, as well as an international market and presentation space. You can get food and goods from all over Animalia there, which is why they call it 'The Animalia Fair'. It's also home to the yearly Animalian Science and Technology Expo, where they show off all sorts of inventions and cutting edge technology from all over Animalia. The first Expo ever in Zootopia was actually where they first demonstrated the rudimentary framework for what would become our City's greatest technological marvel, the climate control systems. Thus, it made the Expo a landmark in and of itself, and put Zootopia on the map in terms of being considered 'ahead of the curve' technology wise.

Ask Beth; Lance in the Bedroom

 

Ask Auddey and Dorian; The Hunter Pups Meet Santa Claws

 

Ask Vernon; Joel's Logan Maul Energy

 

Joel: You called in the middle of the night for this? You're still getting these?

Vernon: Well, to be honest it was an old one. But regardless, y'all know you and Megumi were awake anyway. Y'all tend to keep nocturnal hours.

Joel: *Sigh* I appreciate the concern, even if it's back-hooved, but come on, Logan Maul Energy? I may have looked a little touristy when I first showed up, but I wasn't walking around in a cartoon hat throwing fish at mammals!

Vernon: What about that...er...statue incident?

Joel: I paid the fine! It was a once in a life time chance to ride on a Gunbunn's shoulders! At least I didn't go poking around in the suicide forest purposely looking for a dead person to get ratings! And I'll add, unlike somebody else's relative, I didn't cause an international incident that got my family banned in two countries at once!

Vernon: HEY! Y'all know Ulric ain't...er....right...And sides', me and Dawn managed to appeal the Norwulff ban...

Ask the Guys; No Nut November

 

Vernon: I guess we're a little late on this one. Granted I don't think any of us have given' that a try. I mean in regards to my brothers anyway. I dunno about maybe...Gus, er' Broomie?

Gus: Yeah, Mellie made sure that was completely impossible. If I even wanted to try it, she'd go out of her way to foil it.

Broomie: Wait, what? Like how?

Gus: I mean, I don't do it. Like I've never done No Nut, but if I ever told Mellie “I think I'm gonna go all Novemeber without rutting”, she would absolutely find a way to make me break that personal bet. It'd be like a challenge for her, and you know how she loves challenges.

Joel: I used to do No Nut November.

Gus: You can't count the years you didn't have a mate, that's just rutting celibacy.

Joel: Uh, hello, I still took care of myself. Geeze, it's like you guys think you can only get off with the help of a Dam. But I mean, taking a month off isn't hard.

Broomie: Considering the games you play, I find that hard to believe dude.

Joel: *Snort* I play other games. It's not strictly Animalme Hentail games.

Vernon: OH wait, Ully might have done No Nut November too...granted I think he purty much did 'No Nut Never' fer the majority of his life...at least till Honey came along.

Gus: *Chuckles* Now there's a daunting and pointless challenge, bedding you mess of a brother.

Found AU; Dorian on Mr. Dice

 

Dorian: Y'all want my honest opinion? I don't like the mammal. Every time I'm even near him my Hunter's intuition starts screamin' at me like there's a five alarm fire brewin' up around me. I can tell he's up to somethin' bad, but fer the life of me I haven't been able to pin the mammal down fer anythin' I've been suspectin' him of. And, as a mammal of the law...I do things by the book, regardless of my...personal feelin's. So until I can get real, hard evidence on the guy, I'm just gonna have to keep as far away from him as possible. And that goes fer my family too...and any mammal I feel might be the kind he'd prey upon. Maybe that last bit y'all could argue is oversteppin' considerin' what I just said, but...I know these folks in the Meadowlands. They're good folks, and I swore an oath to look out fer 'em all. And even if I can't see the full scale of whatever operation he's got goin' on, I owe it to my neighbors to give 'em a heads up.

The way he smiles....*Shudders* It's like...It's a mask...and iffin' y'all look close enough, you can just barely make out all the sins tryin' to crawl out from behind it. Leakin' through the seams. A man hiden' that kinda darkness in him always sees his sins come to bare, one way or another. Mammal's that live like that...well...things don't end well for 'em. Just ask ol' Aster Bellwether...